


Fate Or Coincidence

by ssalemghostss



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Rey - Fandom, Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom, ben solo - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bondage, College AU, Dirty Talk, Dominant Rey, F/M, NSFW, SO MUCH desk sex, Smut, Spanking, Teacher-Student Relationship, The One Where Ben Accidentally Discovers He Has a Schoolgirl Fetish, anything but a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-12-25 02:59:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 59,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssalemghostss/pseuds/ssalemghostss
Summary: A smutty Reylo story with sex and/or angst in every chapter! - Sometimes, it’s hard to decide if a particular life event is a matter of fate or silly coincidence. For example, a man survives a car crash he should have died in. Fate, or coincidence? If he was religious, he may say it was “God’s plan” for him. Or he may just remain in a state of numbed shock until he can get his trembling fingers to lift a pint of beer to his lips. Or, alternatively, say you meet a tall, dark and handsome stranger in a bar one night and begin a wild and passionate-albeit illicit-romance that knows no bounds. Is it fate, or coincidence?





	1. The Thirsty Scholar

Sometimes, it’s hard to decide if a particular life event is a matter of fate or silly coincidence. For example, a man survives a car crash he should have died in. Fate, or coincidence? If he was religious, he may say it was “God’s plan” for him. Or he may just remain in a state of numbed shock until he can get his trembling fingers to lift a pint of beer to his lips. Or, for instance, say a young girl finds a lonely dog wandering a street somewhere and brings it home. The dog, it turns out, had no owner that could be found and thus remained in the girls’ care for the rest of its comfortable life. Fate, or happy coincidence? Only those involved in the matter can make that call. And really, what’s the difference between the two?

            When the young Masters student with the shoulder-length brown hair and eyes the colour of well-aged whiskey entered the campus bar, laughing with her small group of friends, she wasn’t aware that she would be making such a choice the very next morning. She had come to the Thirsty Scholar (an apt, if slightly uncreative name for a university bar) at the behest of Catherine, her roommate, who promised good drinks, good food, and possibly some late-night karaoke (if, and only if, those “good drinks” were really up to par). Rey could do nothing but mumble incoherently under her breath when Catherine had reminded her how much time she had been spending cooped up in her room or in the library, working day in and day out on her thesis whilst simultaneously finding time for her a part-time job as a receptionist for a law office. So, somewhat reluctantly but with a tinge of excitement at getting away from her computer for a night, Rey had changed out of her sweatpants and tank top into something a little more leathery and little more appropriate for the setting, dashed on some makeup, and threw back a couple pre-game shots with Catherine, Adam, Lily and Raj in the tiny kitchen of her apartment.

            The university bar was designed to look like an old library straight out of the 1850s, complete with stone fireplace, stained glass windows, bookshelves lined with cracked and faded spines, and lion-shaped adornments on lacquered wooden posts. It was dim and smelled mostly of fried foods with an undertone of old cigarette smoke. Smoking in bars had been banned, but only recently, and the bar clearly hadn’t changed their furniture since before the law had come into place.

            It was busy, but not packed. There were groups of people seated at tables, playing pool or darts, and there were loners in the corners reading books and stirring their drinks idly or lined up at the bar staring introspectively into their glasses. Raj and Adam ordered a round of drinks and nachos while the girls found a table. The friends sat for nearly two hours, drinking, refilling, snacking, and talking. Rey was shifting in her seat then, her bladder aching deeply.

            “I have to go pee,” she said bluntly, standing up from the table. She wobbled a little bit.

            “While you’re up, get us another round, eh?” Adam said in his pleasant Irish accent, planting a ten dollar bill on the table. The other two did the same. “It’s your turn, girlie.”

            “Yeah, will do,” Rey giggled, pocketing the cash.

            She wasn’t sure how many drinks she’d actually had anymore. Truthfully, she had lost count sometime after five. She didn’t care, though. She was out to let loose and have a good time. A voice in the back of her head reminded her that she had her first seminar of the new school term in the morning, but she willfully ignored it. She could sit in the back, stay quiet and out of sight, and it would be over in three hours.

            When she got to the sinks to wash up, she gripped the edge of the countertop to steady herself. The alcohol was making her feel light as a feather, as if she could float away at any moment. She giggled at the thought and turned on the hand-dryer. The way it pushed at her skin, making wrinkles and weird shapes, made her laugh even more.

            On her way out of the bathroom, she almost forgot to stop by the bar and get more drinks. She nearly tripped as she turned faster than her feet could keep up with her and started walking towards the bar. She walked up next to a seated man in a black leather jacket who was tapping his glass of scotch. He gave her a dismissive side-glance and then looked back at his glass.

            “Um, hi, excuse me,” Rey said, flagging down a bartender. “Hi, um, how are you?”

            The bartender raised an eyebrow. “I’m…good. Er. How are you?”

            “Oh, wonderful,” Rey grinned. “Uh…oh, hm…can I get two more pints of Guinness, and another bottle of red wine?”

            “That’s the house wine, aye?” he asked.

            Rey blinked. “….Yes,” she nodded. “Yes, that’s it.”

            The bartender left to fill her order. In that time, the brooding man next to her cleared his throat and took a drink. Rey watched him for a moment through half-lidded eyes that traced the smooth curve of his jawline. He licked a drop of alcohol from his top lip and she watched that, too. She could faintly smell his cologne, being in close proximity to him, and it smelled like sage and pine. It collaborated nicely will the light scent of alcohol coming off his breath. His black, shaggy hair covered his ears and licked down the top of his throat like flames. He had some kind of a metallic class ring inset with a gaudy red ruby on his thumb. Rey found herself grinning wolfishly.

            “Hel _lo_ …” she drawled.

            He turned to appraise her with the air of someone watching a bird fly past his window. His eyes were a deep brown, almost black in the dim light of the bar. They made Rey feel like she was melting somewhere under her belly.

            “Hi,” he said in return. His voice was like honey on hot stones; warm and smooth at the same time that it was gruff and deep. His lips, full and pink, twitched as if he was fighting back a smirk.

            “I’m Rey, what’s your name?” She offered him a hand, resting her chin in her free one.

            “Ben,” he answered, shaking her hand. _Ben. He looks like a Ben,_ Rey thought. His hand was warm and his shake was firm. She absentmindedly chewed the inside of her cheek.

            “You go to school here?” she asked. The bartender had just finished setting her drinks in front of her on a tray. She took no notice.

            “In a manner of speaking,” Ben said, taking another drink.

            The bartender cleared his throat to get Rey’s attention. “Oh, right,” she mumbled, digging out the cash from her pocket, adding her own to it, and slapping it on the counter in front of him. “Thanks, mate.”

            The bartender gave her a strange look but took the money and walked away.

            “That all for you?” Ben asked, gesturing at the tray of drinks.

            “Hmm? Oh, no, for me and my friends,” Rey said, gesturing over to where Catherine, Adam, and Raj sat chatting happily by the fireplace. “They’re sat over there. Care to join us?”

            Ben scoffed to himself. “I’m not one to insert myself into private parties,” he said.

            “No need to, I’m inviting you to join,” She picked up the tray. “Coming?”

            He looked like he was about to stand up and follow her, but then he slumped resolutely back into his bar stool and shook his head. “No, thanks.”

            Rey opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. The tray was getting heavy already. She huffed, “Stay here, wait a sec.”

            As carefully as she could she got the tray to their table and set it down.

            “There you are,” Catherine said, twisting the wine bottle open. “We thought you’d gotten lost.”

            “Mm, no, not quite,” Rey said, prompting Catherine with her empty wine glass to fill it. “I met someone at the bar; trying to make a new friend.”

            Catherine almost upset the table, she stood up so fast. Her thick, curly black hair bounced as she craned her neck towards the bar so fast everyone thought she’d given herself whiplash.

            “What? Who?” she demanded.

            “ _Sit down, please_ ,” Rey hissed. “I tried to get him to come over here but he wasn’t interested. Let me have a couple drinks with him, then maybe you can meet him.”

            “I already know what he looks like,” Catherine announced proudly. “He’s the brooding one in the leather jacket who keeps looking over his shoulder at you, right?”

            Rey flushed pink. “He’s looking at me?” she said quietly.

            Adam and Raj both snuck glances. “Ah-yup,” Raj nodded. “Definitely got eyes for you.”

            “You fancyin’ a romp with his guy?” Adam queried. “Get ’im, darlin’. That should destress you, eh?”

            Rey rolled her eyes and swatted him. “You always have to take things that extra inappropriate mile, don’t you?”

            “Ah-yup.”

            Rey took a large swig from her wine glass and topped it up. “I’ll be back.” She swayed back over to the bar and took the seat next to Ben. He gave her another half-interested look.

            “You again?” he asked playfully.

            “I told you I’d come back,” she said with a sly smile. “Maybe not in so many words, but…You were waiting for me, my friends saw you.”

            Ben cleared his throat, straightening up a little. “Maybe. I suppose I could suffer to buy you a drink once you finish your wine, if that’s what you mean.”

            Rey giggled. “Not exactly, but I’d still like that.”

            They talked first about more serious topics, like schooling and psychology, history and astronomy, then they talked food, and somewhere in between those two topics Ben bought Rey a margarita. From there, the conversation jumped into less formal topics, like childhood memories and shared interests. Sometime after Ben had ordered himself another drink, they were facing one another in their bar stools, their knees making comfortable contact. She was making him laugh, a sweet, hypnotizing sound that she couldn’t seem to get enough of. She wanted so badly to reach out and twist a lock of his raven hair around her finger but she restrained herself. Both Ben and Rey were finding themselves increasingly attracted to the other, on a deep, physical level neither of them really understood, and they couldn’t quite tell if it was fate, coincidence, or the alcohol that was leading the discussion.

            “So do you normally come to bars to try and pick up men?” he purred.

            “Mm, never have before, actually,” Rey responded honestly. She had met people at bars before, but she was never the one to initiate it. “How am I doing?”

            “Not bad, but considering we haven’t moved I’d have to give you a B-,” Ben quipped.

            Rey raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’d like for us to move somewhere else?” The way he was looking at her, his eyes darkened by lust and alcohol, made her shiver pleasantly.

            “Maybe,” His fingers traversed her inner thigh, toying with her. “Only if you’re just as willing.”

            Rey leaned in, planted a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, and whispered in his ear, “Ready and willing.” She took his hand and got off her stool. “Let’s move to the dance floor!”

            Ben was taken aback for a moment, blinking at her. “The dance floor?” he asked, not moving when she pulled.

            “Yes, that _is_ what you meant, isn’t it?” She grinned like a knife and winked at him.

            Suddenly, Ben found himself entirely incapable of saying no to her. He allowed her to lead him onto the sparsely populated dance floor where he instantly felt uncomfortable until she began to dance against his front. His hands floated around her hips uselessly for a moment while he watched her, unsure and completely in awe. She was like her own light source, attracting everyone around her as if they were moths. Yet the only person she paid any attention to was Ben. She bounced and swayed to the beat of the song, some sultry, deep-bass techno piece, running her fingers lithely up his arms, across his throat, and down his chest. Her hips moved from side-to-side as if controlled by the music rather than Rey herself, and she backed into him, grinding against him with gentle pressure. Ben’s hands took hold of her hips then and dipped his lips to the curve of her throat, where he gave her goosebumps over her entire body.

            Ben even found himself swaying and moving to the music, in tandem with her. Her skin felt hot from dancing under the bright, shimmering lights and the salt of her sweat was oddly satisfying on his lips. She arched her back, putting her hands on the back of his neck, and put more pressure on his crotch quite on purpose. She could feel his taught jeans against her backside and grinned. She heard a deep, animalistic growl in her ear before he spun her around, took her face gently in his hands and kissed her. Her fingers instinctively tangled themselves in his hair and she softly moaned into his lips. There was nothing but pure passion in the way they kissed one another; before either of them were completely aware of what they were doing, they were stepping off the dance floor and racing towards the bathrooms as quickly as possible.

            Now, there was something strangely magical in a one-night hook-up when both parties are equally wanton and attracted to one another. Even when it takes place in a private bathroom in the very back of a university bar. Ben locked the door before picking Rey up and sitting her on the countertop next to the sink, forcing her back to press against the cool mirror while he kissed her fervently. Her hands pushed his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms and he quickly did the same to her shirt, his fingers expertly pulling it over her head. His hands and mouth paid tribute to her skin, traversing her curves and musculature with an intensity Rey had never before experienced. It hit her in that moment that what they were doing was not only dramatic and urgent but also something that she would normally never do. The thrill of it excited her. The melting sensation she had felt before was now a burning need in her gut. She squirmed in anticipation and brought him closer, unbuttoning his cotton shirt as her lips found his again. His chest and stomach were hard with muscle. He was a _big man_ by anyone’s standards and he came off as likely being the kind of bloke who could stare down an angry lion and win, and yet his skin prickled at her delicate touch and he made a soft noise reminiscent of an innocent kitten. At the same time that he was melting her with his tame behaviour, he was working her pants and underwear down her legs. A comment about his efficiency floated across Rey’s mind but went more or less unnoticed by her.

            Rey curled her fingers into the waistband of his underwear, just barely exposed over the top of his jeans. She could feel the roughness of hair there; it brushed against the backs of her fingers invitingly. She decided she didn’t want to reach anymore and hastily undid the button and zipper of his pants. She could feel him smiling against her lips.

            “Eager, are you?” he purred.

            “A little,” Rey admitted while she shimmied his pants down with her feet.

            Ben grabbed her ankles, forcing her to stop, and lifted her legs up so that she rested more on her back. She gasped at this sudden move and watched him intently. He was grinning in that shit-eating way you couldn’t help but smile back at, and his eyes sparked as if they were on fire.

            “Don’t you ever just…” He kissed her inner thigh, “…want to savour the moment?” His tongue felt warm and intoxicating when it made contact with her and she gasped again, louder this time. He was right, she did want to spend more time in that particular moment. She didn’t want him to stop. Her moan was low and long as he kissed and sucked, his tongue dancing circles, making her feel dizzy. She opened her mouth as if to scream but no sound came out. Her brow creased and her fingers gripped the edge of a sink so hard she thought all of her nails were going to break simultaneously. He kissed her lower abdomen, up and up, and then she stopped him.

            “Wait, wait,” she panted, taking his face in her hands.

            “What…?” he breathed. His eyes were dark as night and his face was flushed with a light pink colour. Miniscule droplets of sweat were beginning to shine along his collarbone. He looked like the Devil who had just been told to pause Armageddon.

            “I don’t…normally do this,” Rey said, interrupting herself to kiss him.

            “Oh,” Ben sighed, gently licking the underside of her jaw and kissing her throat. “Me either.” His deep voice vibrated intriguingly against her skin.

            Rey felt it then, pushing against her delicately. She instinctively leaned her hips into it, causing Ben’s breath to hitch in his throat. With a mad grin, she reached a hand in between them, prompting the head of his cock between her lips. Her slick wetness made Ben falter, his grip sliding on the granite countertop. His weight was pleasant; warm and not too heavy. He moaned into her shoulder. He was a beautiful man, a _big_ man, and she held him like a puddle in her palms. It was that easy. He must really want her, or he was really drunk. Either way, Rey felt more or less on the same page.

            “We should make the most of it then,” Rey whispered, guiding him in as slowly as she could. She gasped, licking her lips. “Don’t you think?”

            He growled softly. “You’re right,” he panted, thrusting deep into her in one quick, fluid motion. She made a noise of surprise and slapped a hand over her mouth. The mirror rattled. Ben grinned wolfishly. “Let’s do that.”

            Rey held onto him like she was stranded at sea and he was a flotation device. Her nails dug into the back of his neck and she found it increasingly difficult to keep from screaming out. A voice in the back of her head reminded her that the music was too loud outside the bathroom for anyone to hear them. She moaned at every thrust and the pleasurable feeling it left deep inside of her, bringing her closer and closer to the edge of oblivion. It all felt so good and it was so uncharacteristically like her. Her brain felt like it was swimming through thick fog. She liked that, too.

            As if to get him back for taking her by surprise, she bit into his shoulder hard. He groaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure and began moving faster, harder.

            “Bite me some more,” he growled in her ear, “see what happens.”

            “I’m… _mmm_ …not a sadist,” she breathed, “but since you asked for it...” She nipped his throat playfully.

            He pulled himself out of her, leaving an aching emptiness behind, and picked her up. He slid her off the counter and turned her around, bending her over. She gasped at the sudden change of position. Her cheek rested against the cool countertop and she chewed her bottom lip. He had her wrists in his hand and pulled her arms taut so that her upper half was at an angle. She could see in the mirror he was watching her expression with a smug grin.

            “Brave of you,” he murmured, sliding back in to her at a tantalizingly slow pace. The look of pleasure that absorbed her face almost made him lose it. In a cracking whisper he said, “You’ll have to pay for that.”

            “Make me.” She dared, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

            Oh, he liked this woman. He liked her _a lot_.

            He pulled almost all the way out and then all the way back in in one deep thrust. She yelped with desire. He found his pace after that, having teased her and himself nearly to the point of breaking. Their skin made a beautiful sound on repeated contact. He put a hand on her sternum and pulled her up so her back arched and her head rested on his chest. He buried his face in her hair. She felt so incredible to him he could hardly stand it any longer. She was warm and so wet, but he knew she could be wetter. Snaking a hand downwards, his fingers circled her clit, rubbing it faster and faster until no sound came out of her mouth anymore. Her brow creased and the bridge of her nose wrinkled in concentration. He could feel it then, like a hot wave cascading all around him, sweeping him up in its current. Quickly he pulled out and let his juices dribble down the curvature of her ass. Neither of them could catch their breath right away.

            _“F-f-fucking hell…”_ Rey panted. The encounter with Ben had instantly made its way to her top-five best yet.

            Ben mutely agreed, licking his dry lips. He admired his mess for a moment and then grabbed paper towel out of the dispenser. “Here, let me clean you up.” And he did.

            “Thank you,” Rey said bashfully. Now that it was over she wasn’t sure what to do next. Her head had its own pulse. Slowly, she pulled her clothes back on.

            Ben did his pants up and ran his fingers through his hair. “Well…er, if you ever want to do _that_ again…I do in fact come here often.” He smirked roguishly.

            “I’ll let you know,” She smiled. _Damn rights I will._

 

*

 

            Rey’s head throbbed the next morning, but not as badly as she thought it would. After her bathroom adventure she had consumed nothing but water (not including the half-cup of coffee she had tried to choke down this morning) and basically went straight home to get ready for bed. Her friends had tried to pry the story out of her, asking her where she’d been, if it had been worth it, and all that. She hadn’t paid them much mind. She felt like she didn’t want to share it with anyone. What had happened had been immensely incredible for her and she found her mind wandering back to it repeatedly over the next few hours.

            She hadn’t wanted to wake up for class that morning. She’d pressed snooze on her alarm a total of five times before it just stopped allowing her to do it. When she begrudgingly got up and put clothes on, pulled a brush through her tangled hair, washed off the smudged remnants of last night’s makeup, and put on her glasses, she was nearly late. She thanked anyone who might be listening that she lived in graduate student housing on campus and quickly ran across the quad to her building. It took her five extra minutes to find her classroom and by the time she got there, no seats remained in the back for her to hide (and potentially nap) in. With a grumble, she took one of the last remaining seats in the second row.

            Truthfully, she didn’t need to take this class. She had found herself bored to death simply writing her Master’s thesis and doing boring Masters student things, and on a whim she decided to enroll in a Greek mythology class. What did she need to know Greek mythology for? She didn't. But it looked great on a transcript.

            As it turned out, the professor was even more late than Rey had been. Four minutes after nine, he rushed in, setting his briefcase atop the desk and opening it, rummaging around for a flash drive. Rey didn’t really look at him. Instead she found herself watching the clock, counting the minutes until she could leave this wretched place and crawl back under her bedsheets. But then the professor spoke.

            “Morning, everyone. So sorry I’m late…traffic was a nightmare.”

            Rey knew that voice. She knew it well. It had been replaying in her mind on a near constant loop since last night, telling her to bite him again, see what happens. Her heart leapt into her throat and for a moment she thought she was going to vomit it up.

            Ben looked completely different than he had last night. He was dressed in a white cotton button-up shirt and tidy black dress pants. He wore dark-rimmed glasses and his hair was combed and still damp from the shower he had had that morning. He looked like only a Classics professor could look, apart from the white hair and wrinkles. No, he looked like the kind of professor that would use the belt on a disobedient student, if she asked nicely for it.

            _Please don’t see me, please don’t see me…_ Rey pleaded soundlessly, sinking lower and lower in her chair. A part of her wanted to collect her things and leave the classroom but she knew she couldn’t; he wouldn’t be able to not notice her if she did that. But it turned out it didn’t matter, he saw her anyway. His face fell in shock and he blinked. He stared at her for almost too long but looked back down at his scrambled notes before most of the students started looking around, trying to see the ghost he’d obviously just witnessed. Rey could feel the blush heating her face. She chewed on the tip of her pen anxiously. _Shit,_ she cursed. _Shit, shit, shit. What kind of sick twist of fate is this?_


	2. Hero & Leander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>>IMPORTANT!!!!<<<  
> Soooooo. This is no longer only a one-shot! Luck be with all you horn-dogs who asked for this. But before you get to enjoying the tale, there's a few things you need to take note of first!  
> 1\. Ben no longer teaches Latin as was previously the case. Now it's Greek mythology. For the simple reason that I know more about Greek mythology than I do about Latin. Oh yeah. Get ready for Ben Solo the Classics Dick.  
> 2\. This story will NOT be updated on any kind of a schedule. Just when I get around to it. I have a lot going on so this can't be a major priority for me. This means that it may get updated weekly for a while and then not update for two or three months, etc. etc. Sorry 'bout it, but it's the way it's gotta be. If you want weekly updates from me, check my main story "Translucence." ;)  
> 3\. If you like this story please be sure to share it & let me know! Interaction is appreciated :)

                Rey thought for sure _Professor Solo_ (formerly known only as Ben or Bar Bathroom Guy) was going to say something to her as she left the classroom that first day, but he didn’t. Instead he just watched her leave with a wide, stunned stare, deer-in-the-headlights style. She had quickly dropped her own gaze to the floor upon noticing his expression and hurried out of there as fast as the flowing ebb of students would allow. Truth be told, after that first encounter Rey should have just dropped the class, she knew that. She tried, but every other one of her backup classes were full. _Give it a week or two,_ Rey told herself. _People will have dropped by then and there’ll be plenty of spaces available._

                And so, two days later, Rey found herself warily walking back into the classroom. She had contemplated simply not attending earlier that morning as she’d ate her breakfast. But for some reason she couldn’t quite explain, she had to go. She couldn’t remember a single thing discussed on that first day; she’d also taken no notes. She had no clue what she was getting herself into, academically or emotionally, and yet there she was, willfully stepping right in. She sat a little further back that time around, near the middle of the room on the right-hand side. It was an ancient classroom with awful wooden seats that were cramped by fold-down desk tops. The seating rose almost all the way up to the ceiling in the back and the room smelled vaguely of wood cleaner and dust. The smeared chalkboard ran the entire width of the room. At least the speaker system and computer were up-to-date, since nothing else in that room was.

                Professor Solo was already there that morning, standing behind the computer and scanning the screen with his dark eyes, his brow creasing as he focused on pulling up his PowerPoint. He wore thick-rimmed black glasses and a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. Rey swallowed her attraction to him bitterly and took her seat. As she sat down she could hear the echoes of his moans in her ear, the light pressure of his fingers on her skin, and the tickling sensation of his warm lips on her throat. She hated herself for it, and for the light blush that coloured her cheeks. She carried no real ill will against the Professor; neither of them had known what the future would hold when they had their drunken union. She simply lamented the fact that her past decision had come back to haunt her so quickly. Regardless, she would not let herself be tempted again. _Who’s to say he’d even want to touch you again now that he knows you’re a student?_ His _student?_ She begrudgingly scrawled the date at the top right corner of her lined paper. Habit told her she needed to take notes, even if she was going to drop the class.

                “Good morning,” Ben said, his voice amplified by the microphone clipped to his collar. It sounded like he was speaking right in Rey’s ear, the way his voice carried around the room. She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I’m glad to see most of you decided to stay past the first day.” He cast a glance in Rey’s direction – or at least she thought for certain that he had.

                “And since you decided to stay,” Ben continued, “allow me to give you a few reasons as to why that was the right choice.”

                He brought up images on the projector of ancient Latin scrawl, beautiful manuscript pages, and art depicting popular Greek myths. With each one he easily translated the Latin into English for the class and briefly explained the significance of the pictures he had chosen.

                “You likely find or have found yourself asking what the point of Greek mythology really was. Why bother studying it? Hasn’t it been beaten into the ground yet? These are all valid questions, but I’d like to dispel any of these concerns for you all right now. First, I ask you not to judge simply by the word ‘myth.’ In fact, I ask you to rethink your definition of the term. The myths we will study in this class are not simple stories that were thought up centuries upon centuries ago by religious psychopaths with nothing better to do. They are far more complicated than that. Since their conception they have had a surprising influence on mankind and the evolution of the mind, impacting western society in various artistic, historical and sociological ways. Of course it isn’t always obvious right away, but that’s what we’re here for. That is why the second thing I ask is that you attempt to expand your minds…”

                Rey found herself lost in Professor Solo’s presentation. The way he spoke with such passion, in a way that he had obviously designed with the hopes of connecting to a broader student base, caught her off-guard. She found herself wanting to learn more from him. His introduction to the course was mesmerizing; she found herself completely fascinated as he talked of historical context - an astonishing feat since Rey had never really enjoyed the history classes she had taken in high school. He spoke like a real storyteller, but also like someone who loved his job; a born teacher. She didn’t take her eyes off of him the entire time, not even when he began to discuss the basic technicalities of the literature and exactly how it began and grew to influence society in the early years of human history. She found herself taking studious notes, even. _I’m dropping this class,_ she told herself over and over again. _I don’t care if he’s nice to listen to and look at, I’m not staying._ The more she said it, though, the less weight it carried.

                When the class ended and students began to rise out of their seats, stretching their arms and legs generously, Rey remained seated, staring at her pages of notes with contempt and puzzlement. She couldn’t allow herself to enjoy the class and its materials, not this time. The risk was simply too great. With a huff, she closed her notepad and shoved it in her leather satchel. Then she began to make her descent down the steep, age-worn steps to the front of the room. As she walked by the desk at the front, a deep voice stopped her, quiet enough for only her to hear it.

                “Rey. A word, please.”

                She stopped instantly, wincing. She was hoping he wouldn’t say anything again and just let her pass.  Hesitantly, she walked over to his desk. He was sorting his notes, pages of them, and stacking them into a clipboard.

                “Yes, Professor?” she asked meekly.

                His dark eyes flicked up to her over the rims of his glasses for just a second. “One moment,” he said distractedly, walking over to shut the door after everyone else had left. Then he returned to her, retaking his place across the desk from her.

                “I didn’t think I’d see you back here today,” he said, busying his hands once more with his notes.

                “Yeah, well…I didn’t think I was going to be here either.” she quipped.

                “Mm. But you are dropping the class, correct?” he asked blatantly. He began to put things away into his briefcase.

                She blinked. “I was thinking about it…”

                “Well, I think maybe you should,” he said. “It would be best.”

                That old temper shot off a spark inside of her. She tilted her head to the side and squinted at him accusingly. “You want me to drop your class?” she asked, innocent as could be.

                He gave her a blank stare and nodded. “Yes. I do.”

                “Hm.” She contemplated that for a bit, letting it melt on her tongue and leave a bad taste there. Why would he want her to drop, exactly? It’s not as if anyone knows they’re familiar with one another. There was something wrong with his request and Rey was going to prey on that.

                “You know, on second thought, maybe I’ll stay,” she said airily, gladly testing his patience.

                Ben’s dark eyes narrowed infinitesimally behind his glasses. Slowly, he straightened, attaining his full height of six-foot-three. He watched her carefully, this brazen young lady who, despite being much shorter than him, met his stare with a confidence that could not possibly go unnoticed. She intrigued him in a way he hadn’t quite been accounting for. Truthfully, although their night together had been reckless and memorable, he was not expecting any feelings to linger behind, no matter how primal. And yet there was something, deep within him, gradually blooming and growing.

            “Is that so?” he asked mildly.

            Rey nodded, lightly grasping the outer edge of the desk with her fingers, running them expertly along the smooth surface.

            “Yes, as a matter of fact, I found your lecture to be quite stimulating,” she explained, drawing the words out for effect. “I’m interested now. There’s no going back.”

            His eyebrows rose considerably. He knew damn well he should be persuading her to quit the class, that he didn’t find her jokes very funny and that the whole thing was incredibly inappropriate, or something to that effect. But he found himself willfully playing along with her games instead, desperately trying to mask a smirk and maintain a cool, aloof outer exterior. Never before had he faced such a sinful temptation as this. The promise of trouble tasted sickly sweet.

            “Well. In that case, why don’t you come to my office with me so we can discuss this further?” If he was going to go through with it, he was not going to do it in a public classroom. “Unless, of course, you’re not serious.”

            “Serious as a heart attack,” Rey replied, to which she received a funny look.

            Ben’s office was on the seventh floor of the building, nestled in the far corner. The inside wasn’t as cramped as Rey had been expecting, boasting two fully-stocked bookcases on either wall, a few strange art pieces and artifacts, and a mahogany desk with a lavish leather roller chair on one side and a slightly less extravagant high-backed chair on the other. Rey took a seat here while Ben put his things away. He then proceeded to walk over to the door and shut it, attempting to discreetly lock it although Rey noticed anyway. Unconsciously, she shifted in her seat. The tension in the room was already overpowering.

            “So,” Ben said as he took the seat opposite her. “You’ve discovered a sudden appreciation for Greek mythology, have you?”

            “Well, not so much an appreciation as a…adventure. I rather like a challenge.”

            “I see that. Completing your Masters isn’t challenging enough for you?”

            “Not nearly.”

            Ben cracked a smile. He knew she was lying through her teeth – he remembered the hell he had gone through chasing his Master’s degree not too long ago - but he could appreciate the effort.

            “You know,” he said conversationally, “a lot of people go into this thinking it’ll be no big deal, but it’s a lot more complicated than anyone thinks.”

            “I mean, they’re hardly more than fables now, right?” Rey posited. “You create a few beautiful, twisted gods, throw in a moral and – oh! – a lesson has been learned.”

            Ben raised an eyebrow. “Are you mocking me?”

            “No, not at all – unless you would prefer if I was.” Her lips twitched as she fought off a grin.

            “I would prefer it if you were a lot of things right now,” Ben sighed. “But I did spend nearly a decade of my life getting my PhD in matters of these simple ‘fables’ you speak of, so…take it easy.”

            “Duly noted,” Rey confirmed with a nod.

            “Are you actually serious, though? About staying in the class?” Ben asked. “I don’t really have a problem with it, it’s just that it may qualify as a conflict of interest…”

            “Oh, please. I’m not going to sleep with you just to get a better grade,” Rey rolled her eyes. “If I slept with you it would be because I wanted to and that’s all.”

            Ben swallowed, unable to help feeling a little in awe of her confidence.

            “You’re awfully bold in the mornings, aren’t you?” he asked.

            “I prefer the term ‘direct.’”

            “Of course you do.” Ben mumbled.

            Rey’s eyes darted to the clock. She had nowhere to be just yet, but she was realizing that she wasn’t even sure what she had been hoping to get out of this visit. Whatever it was, she was quite positive she wouldn’t be getting it, and so she really just wanted to get out of there.

            “I’m probably keeping you from a class, aren’t I?” she asked, taking the strap of her bag in her hand. “I should let you get on with your day.”

            Something in Ben’s stare stopped her from getting out of her seat.

            “I don’t have anywhere to go for another hour.” he said simply.

            “Good, neither do I.” Rey replied, letting her bag drop back to the floor.

            They sat in silence for a brief moment, challenging one another with their eyes to speak first. _Do something! Make me stay,_ Rey urged mentally, trying to communicate the message through her stare. _Like you did at the bar…_

            Finally, Ben leaned back a bit, scratching his chin with an idle finger. “It was very hard to keep my eyes off of you while I was lecturing today, you know,” he said matter-of-factly.

            Rey tilted her head. “Was it? You handled it very well, in that case.”

            “You looked so engrossed by what I was saying. You were the only one who wrote notes the entire class.” Ben remarked.

            “Thank you…I think that was meant to be a compliment?” A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

            “It made me feel like you were the only one in the room besides me,” he went on, recounting the event with a dreamy air. “Like when we were dancing that night. No one else mattered…”

            Rey swallowed. A singular bead of sweat trickled down the back of her neck. She couldn’t tell if the room was naturally hot and stuffy or if it was just him making her feel that way.

            “It really was amazing, that night, I mean,” she sighed. “Even if it was just a…one-time thing.”

            Ben’s thumb danced slowly across the contour of his lower lip. “Does it have to be?” he asked quietly, pondering.

            Heat rushed to Rey’s face, creeping up from the collar of her dress, making her feel slightly dizzy. The way those dark eyes of his were looking at her over the top of his square-rimmed glasses made her feel as though she could melt.

            “…What do you mean?” she asked, urging him on. She just wanted to hear him say it.

            Ben was quiet for a minute, contemplating his next words very carefully. He didn’t usually make rash or dangerous decisions such as this, but he felt no fear for his job security. It was barely even a deciding factor. He had never really been sure about the old saying that dictated men thought with the wrong head all the time, but now he was beginning to wonder if it didn’t hold some truth after all. At the end of the day, there was just something about this girl that he couldn’t ignore and didn’t want to. It wasn’t just the sex…there was something else there he couldn’t quite place.

            “Before I say anything, I need you to understand the risks I’m taking here, and if anything were to happen to my position at this university, well, I couldn’t hold it over your head. We’re both grown, consenting adults…no one is luring anyone into this…”

            “Of course,” Rey confirmed steadily, trying to mask her eagerness.

            “And I will have to treat you the same as anyone else taking my class when it comes to assignments and exams…”

            “I would expect nothing less.”

            “This is very unlike me or anything I’ve ever done…”

            “We are in agreement there, too.”

            “I just don’t think I can fight off the temptation,” Ben murmured, his gaze darkening with lust. “I don’t think I _want_ to.”

            Rey stared back at him resolutely. “Are you tempted right now?” she asked softly.

            Ben’s hand tensed into a fist under the table, simultaneously pinching his thigh. “I don’t think I should tell you that.”

            “Why? Are you afraid?” Rey asked daringly.

            “No,” Ben retorted. “But we are in my public office in the middle of the day.”

            “Oh, alright,” Rey caught on quickly but was not done playing with him yet. “If that’s the case, why don’t you teach me something then? That’s hardly conspicuous, wouldn’t you say?”

            “Like what?” Ben asked curiously.

            Rey stood and crossed swiftly over to the nearest bookcase. Casually picking a thinner book with a soft blue spine, she turned it open and took a seat atop his desk, crossing her legs politely.

            “Why don’t you tell me what this is about?” she queried, waggling the book in her hands.

            Ben stood up and plucked the book from her gentle grip, inspecting it quickly himself. A sly smile crossed his lips.

            “What is it?” Rey asked, suspicious of how snidely gleeful he looked.

            “Oh, it’s nothing. Quite a tragic story, actually,” Ben replied. “This is a philosophic analysis of the myth of Hero and Leander and the many references made to it during the early modern era.”

            Rey’s eyes narrowed and she craned her neck to look at the writing in the book, although she was reading it upside-down. “What’s the myth?” she implied, actually curious.

            “Oh it’s far too sad,” Ben shook his head, replacing the book on his shelf. “It’ll bring the whole mood crashing to the floor in seconds.”

            “What? Come on, tell me,” Rey pleaded. “I honestly want to know now.”

            A tricky smile was still planted on Ben’s face when he looked at her.

            “Alright, if you insist,” he said loftily. “First thing you should probably know is that Hero was a priestess of Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love and all that. Hero lived in this high tower of Sestos on the western side of the Hellespont – You know where the Dardanelles are today? And this man, Leander, lived across the narrow strait from Hero in Abydos, and he fawned over her, quickly falling in love. The myth states that he would swim across the Hellespont every single night just to be with her, and she would light a lamp in her tower so its glow would help guide him.”

            Rey found herself completely caught up in his words and manner of speaking for the second time that day. His voice was deep and quiet, echoing within her and stirring up a warm sensation in the pit of her belly. Gradually he was stepping closer to her. She could feel the thighs of his pants against her knees.

            “Hero was beautiful; she captivated him right from the start. Leander longed to love her as deeply as he could, but she was a virgin, and he had plans to change that. So he charmed her and just as quickly she fell in love with him. Leander spun this tale for her that Aphrodite would scorn the worship of a virgin, being the goddess of love and sexuality and all, just to get into Hero’s bed,” Ben explained with an air of romantic humour, tracing the curve of her knee with his fingers.

            Rey uncrossed her legs but kept her knees together, although they were trembling. “And did she allow him into it?” she asked quietly.

            “Oh, yes,” Ben answered. “And every night for one beautiful summer they made love. Until one night, when everything went wrong.”

            He pressed his forehead to hers gently, planting his hands on either side of her atop his desk. Rey’s breath hitched in her throat. His breath smelled of peppermint and his cologne the same earthy scent it had been that night in the bar. She wanted so badly to touch him or kiss him, but the aching pleasure of being so close to one another and not making full contact was an addicting sensation. It made both of their hearts race with building excitement.

            “What happened?” Rey asked breathily.

            “A storm,” Ben replied in a low whisper. With careful ease he slowly made her lower until her back rested on the desk. He hung over her, his tie nestling itself between her breasts. Her knees tightened ever so slightly against his thighs.

            “Leander tried to swim across the Hellespont, as he had done every night without fail. But it had never stormed like that before, and the waves snared him, drowning him, and the terrible wind extinguished Hero’s light. Lost and with lungs full of water, Leander died, eventually washing up on the shore of Sestos, beneath Hero’s tower.”

            “That’s terrible…” Rey whispered.

            “And Hero was so heartbroken, she threw herself off her tower so she could be with him in death.” Ben finished. His lips hovered a mere inch above hers.

            “You were right,” Rey said, her nose brushing against his. “That did bring the mood down.”

            Ben laughed softly. “My apologies,” he said.

            “What do you think Hero and Leander did when they found one another after death?” Rey asked coyly.

            Ben smirked. “I think they had really incredible sex.”

            “Me too.”

            Taking the collar of his shirt in her hands, she pulled him closer until her lips found his. Kissing one another again felt like refreshing rain after a long draught. Ben’s hair was soft between Rey’s gently probing fingers, the back of his neck and beneath his collar flushed with heat, the same as her. Too soon, Ben broke it off, letting his kisses end at her jawline.

            “We shouldn’t,” he breathed, “not here.”

            “Then where?” Rey asked desperately, eyeing the same lips that were leaving her feeling wanton.

            “Come to my apartment,” Ben invited, standing up and leaving Rey feeling oddly cold. He took a Post-It note and scribbled an address on it before handing it over to her. “Eight o’clock, tonight.”

            Rey fought hard to conceal her grin. She had forgotten the carnal pleasure that came along with getting what one wants.

            “I’ll be there,” she announced, hopping off his desk. “I’m, um, glad we could have this discussion.”

            “Mm, yes, same here.”

            Ben’s triumphant smirk followed her out the door.


	3. The Game

Rey quickly fixed her hair and pulled the collar of her orange sweater down just a touch, just enough to tease, before knocking on the door. Surprisingly, she was excited rather than nervous their little tryst. Since they had met that morning it was all she could think about. The door swept open seconds later to reveal Ben, dressed in a loose black t-shirt and dark jeans. His eyes followed her body down and back up again, a grin slowly spreading across his face.

            “You’re right on time,” he remarked, stepping aside. “Come on in.”

            “Thank you.”

            Rey crossed the threshold and entered an apartment that was actually quite spacious and lovely. Everything was freshly updated. The kitchen boasted high-end stainless steel appliances, dark grey granite countertops and an island, and the floors were made of rustic hardwood. The lighting was a warm yellow glow, making the place feel cozy.

            “Let me take your jacket,” Ben said, his fingers going to the shoulders of her unzipped leather jacket.

            As he slipped it off, his fingers gently brushed the side of her throat, making her shiver. Their eyes met for a brief second and electricity crackled between them. Rey cleared her throat, breaking the tension momentarily.

            “What a lovely place this is,” she observed, taking a few steps further in.

The kitchen was just to the left of the entryway and the living room was straight ahead, full of leather furniture, a 50-inch flat screen TV mounted to the wall, a designer rug, and a sleek coffee table. She didn’t realize she was staring.

“You look as though it’s not what you expected,” Ben said with a quiet smile.

“Oh! No…well…” Rey smiled sheepishly. “It’s just…very clean.”

Ben chuckled. “Yeah…I hired a lady to clean it. She comes in every other day. Without her I’m afraid this place would be a pig-sty.”

“That sounds more like what I was expecting.”

“Hey, now,” Ben chided playfully. He walked over to the kitchen island where a bottle of red wine and two glasses sat. “Now, I happen to remember from the bar that you like red wine. Hopefully this one will do.”

“Oh, good memory,” Rey said happily, watching him pour their drinks. Once she had the glass in her hand, she clinked it with his. “Cheers.”

Once they had each taken a sip, Rey asked, “Are you going to give me a tour?”

Ben smiled. “Certainly. Um…well…this is the kitchen, where I eat a lot of take-out food and burn a lot of homemade food,” Ben explained, gesturing broadly at the room.

“Not much of a cook, eh?”

“No, but I do try,” he walked her over to the living room. “This is where I watch my TV and occasionally fall asleep.”

Rey ran her hands along the plush leather sectional. “This couch does look rather comfy…”

“It is. It’s a hazard to my attendance rating,” Ben quipped. “Down the hallway to your left we have the bathroom.”

Rey peered in to the smaller room. The granite around the sink matched that of the kitchen, but the floor was a lovely tile. She noticed with pleasure that it smelled of him.

Ben gestured to a closed door on his right. “This is my office. It’s the messy room around here, so…you’ll just have to imagine what it looks like.”

Rey smirked. Oh, she could imagine all right.

The last room at the end of the hallway on the left was his bedroom. It was rather large for an apartment. He had a huge sleigh bed, the headboard of which was pushed against the wall. Black end tables bordered it on either side. The lighting in there was dimmer, and she couldn’t help but wonder if he had done that on purpose.

“Wow, very nice,” she complimented, walking over to the long black dresser with ornate silver handles.

“Thanks,” Ben murmured before taking another drink.

Rey picked up a picture frame, encased in which was a photo of three people: a tall man with a roguish face, a shorter woman with dark eyes like Ben’s, and the third was a young boy, no older than ten, with wet hair, large ears and a huge, goofy grin that almost looked too big for his face.

“Is this you?” Rey asked, pointing at the boy in the photo.

Ben sighed, looking at it over her shoulder. “Ah, yeah. Me and my parents. I believe we were in Yellowstone.”

Rey chuckled softly. “You look very cute.”

“Please,” Ben scoffed, taking the picture and replacing it atop his dresser. “I look like a fucked-up Muppet.”

Rey burst into laughter. “A fucked-up Muppet? Oh, come now…”

Ben shrugged. “It’s true.”

“Is not,” Rey chided, striding over to his window. The lit-up windows of buildings across the street blinked back at her.

There was a brief moment of silence and then Ben spoke, startling her with his closeness. He now stood directly behind her.

“So, you’ve seen the place. Now shall we pick up where we left off earlier?” he asked, plucking playfully at the loose collar of her sweater.

Rey grinned at Ben, raising a coy eyebrow. He was awfully fun to tease and she found herself unable to resist a perfect opportunity.

                “Someone’s eager,” she stated. “Wouldn’t it be more prudent to wait until I’ve finished my first glass of wine, at least?”

                Ben’s eyes narrowed but he was smiling. If he was being honest with himself, he quite liked being teased by her.

                “If you insist,” he agreed politely, tipping her glass up to her lips just a little. “Drink faster.”

                “Professor Solo,” Rey chided playfully, stepping around him, trying to keep just outside of his reach, just to see what he’d do. “Don’t rush me.”

                “Fine, what would you rather I do?”

                “Hmm…” Rey took the final sip from her glass and waggled it at him as she swallowed. “Pour me another glass.”

                Ben didn’t even try to conceal his laughter. They returned to the kitchen for their refills and then moved to the living room. Ben brought over two small plastic trays he had dug out of his fridge, one containing cheese and crackers and the other various desserts, individually wrapped in paper liners. He opened them and promptly swiped a flaxseed cracker for himself.

                “Be my guest,” he offered. “I didn’t know what you’d like so I picked these up after work. Hopefully they’re half-decent.”

                “Mmm,” Rey purred, trying to hide a grin as she spotted chocolate covered strawberries on the dessert plate. She extended an arm and plucked a slice of brie cheese and a round cracker from the tray, nibbling politely on it. “It’s good enough for me.”

                “It bodes well for me that you’re easy to please,” Ben announced, leaning back into the couch. He looked like an idle God, perched atop his alter and waiting to be fed grapes fresh off the vine.

                “Not too easy, I hope,” Rey replied, admiring him over the top of her wine glass.

                Ben chuckled. “No, no, just easy enough.”

                Rey adjusted herself, bringing her legs in underneath her. After a moment’s pause, she cleared her throat and asked, “Do you have any games?”

                “Games?” Ben replied. “Like what?”

                “I don’t know,” Rey shrugged. “Games two people can play. Cards, even.”

                “Hmm,” Ben pulled himself up and wandered over to an end table, where he rummaged around in the drawer for a couple of seconds, eventually producing a deck of white cards and a pair of dice.

                “I have this,” he said, setting it down beside her. “It’s kind of embarrassing…I don’t even remember when I got it, honestly. But you roll the dice and pick a card, and the card dares you to do something to or with someone else, and if you do it you get points equal to the number you rolled. And you can back out if you don’t think it’s worth it but you get nothing.”

                “Wow, I…can’t believe you have this,” Rey said, barely concealing a laugh. “And yet, it makes perfect sense.”

                Ben shrugged, nonplussed.

                “Let’s see what some of these cards say, shall we?” Rey grabbed half of the deck and began sorting through them. “Oh, man…these are awful!”

                “What do they say?”

                “‘Lick your partner’s earlobe’, ‘Kiss their neck’, ‘Say a terrible pick-up line’…I mean, honestly, yikes.” She was smiling gleefully at the cards all the same.

                “Wanna play?” Ben asked.

                Rey straightened her back and rolled her shoulders. “Sure. Who goes first?”

                “Eh, I’ll go,” Ben offered, picking up the dice and tumbling them a few times in his hand before tossing them along the couch. A healthy eleven was his score. He picked his card. “‘Tell your partner a sexual fantasy’. Does it have to be one of my own?”

                “Ohh, yes,” Rey grinned, “and tell me every detail.”

                “Hmm…well, I’m not sure what this says about me, but…I _have_ always wanted to have sex in one of my classrooms – obviously not while class is in session, I mean,” Ben said hurriedly. “I think it stems from the fact that they explicitly tell us not to or we’ll lose our jobs, etcetera, etcetera. It just makes me want to do it even more.”

                Rey felt heat warm her from the inside out at the thought. She couldn’t help but picture it in her mind: being bent over a desk by him, the risky atmosphere of it all, knowing they would be in huge trouble if they were caught…

                “That’s, uh, a good one,” she said, clearing her throat. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

                Ben raised his eyebrows. “Is that so?”

                Rey did not comment but rather scooped the dice into her hand with one simple swoop. “My turn,” she announced, shaking them carefully before releasing them.

                “Ah, a measly six,” Ben commented. He took another drink from his glass, shaking his head.

                Rey rolled her eyes and picked her card. “Feed your partner an item of food…”

                Ben grinned wide. “Is that all?”

                “No…it also says ‘be sexy.’” Rey sucked on her bottom lip. The joy he was getting out of her obvious lack of patience with this game was all too plain on his face. She would not be the first one to back down, however, no matter how ridiculous the cards got.

                “A good thing you bought food,” she commented. She leaned over to the table, tapping her lips with her index finger, trying to decide.

                After a moment she picked a small square of raspberry cheesecake with a dollop of whipped cream on top. Her mischievous eyes twinkled at him daringly.

                “Alright, you ready?” she asked.

                Ben opened his mouth. “Feed me,” he requested.

                Gently, she touched her fingertips to the underside of his chin. She took her time removing the paper liner and lifting the dessert to his mouth. Right when it was about to touch his lips, she jammed it into his mouth, leaving a mess of whip cream on his face. He groaned briefly, shooting her a look of patient contempt as he chewed. Rey, on the other hand, was laughing at him heartily. There was something about a man as dark and handsome as Ben with a whipped cream moustache that really tickled her funny bone.

                Once Ben had chewed and swallowed the cheesecake, he asked, “Really? You better clean this off of me now.”

                Rey giggled cheerfully and leaned in, kissing the remains of the dessert from his lips. She found it surprisingly hard to stop kissing him once she had started, but somehow she managed to do it. His eyes smouldered at her in that deep, caramel brown colour.

                “Much better.” She commented.

                Ben wiped the remains with the back of his arm and took his turn, rolling a nine. He picked a card and groaned, doing all he could not to roll his eyes.

                “What is it?” Rey chuckled, getting dangerously close to the bottom of her second glass of wine.

                “‘Use your greatest move on your partner,’” Ben read. “Good god, however will I choose just one?”

                Rey set her glass down on the coffee table and opened her arms. “I’m ready. Lay it on me, Solo.”

                Ben faced her more directly and fixed her with a serious expression. “Alright. Well, first, I usually lock eyes with the person, right? Very intimate. I want that connection to just…flow.”

                “Mmhm, yes, I feel the flow,” Rey nodded, barely concealing her smirk. The more serious Ben looked, the harder it was to believe his sincerity.

                “I like to make them feel comfortable, you know. Share a personal story or two. Really play the part of brooding loner; drives them crazy. And then I move a little bit closer, just barely touching, and I say, ‘You know, I don’t usually connect with people like this. But between you and me, I think that tonight, something’s different’ – okay, now, I can’t do it if you keep snorting at me like that. I can see you’re trying not to laugh.”

                Rey broke, laughing loudly and falling into him a little bit. Tears slipped out of the corners of her eyes. For some reason she couldn’t make it stop.

                “I’m sorry – so sorry,” she gasped, trying to swallow the gales of laughter creeping up her throat.

                “Ah, the moment’s over now anyway.” Ben dismissed it with a hand gesture and nursed his wounds with the remnants in his wine glass.

                “No, wait a minute,” Rey excused. “You were absolutely playing the brooding loner role that night I met you at the bar! You made it seem genuine but now I’m beginning to wonder…what really is the truth?”

                Ben smiled to himself. “I didn’t put on any kind of a show for you. I tried to impress you, but what you got was what you saw, I promise.” Then, he added in a philosophic, introspective voice, “I spent so long pretending to be the brooding loner, I _became_ the brooding loner. Full circle.”

                “Pfft. Alright, if you say so,” Rey dismissed, rolling a twelve for herself. “Will you do the honours?” She gestured at the stack of cards which had collapsed into a pile atop the couch cushion.

                Ben picked her card and read it aloud. “‘Do a sexy dance for your partner’. Now that’s more like it.”

                “Oh, please! I can do that no problem.” Rey stood up and began stretching for effect.

                “This also says you get ten extra points if you do it without pants.” Ben waggled the card at her, showing her the text to prove he wasn’t making it up.

                Rey shrugged and promptly shimmied out of her jeans, leaving her in her sweater and black panties. It made no difference to her, in this case. The way Ben was looking at her made any shyness evaporate instantly.

                “I need some music,” she announced, pulling open the app on her phone. She chose a song she knew wouldn’t be hard to dance to. It was a slow, sultry electronic rock song with a catchy melody that tied it all together. She even went so far as to shut the lights off in the living room, so that they were bathed in only the ambient light from the kitchen.

                As the music played, she enticed him with her soft movements. Her hips swayed to the beat of the song and her fingers danced across her collarbone and down her neck, barely brushing the skin. They traveled downward, flitting between her breasts all the way down to her navel. Slowly she twisted down and stood back up, suggestively lifting the hem of her sweater. Ben’s gaze followed each of these movements with rapt attention. Her dance was entrancing to him; he felt like a snake charmed. Gingerly, she straddled his lap, circling her hips into his. His right hand traced the curvature of her leg to her upper thigh. Their faces were so close they could feel the warm breath of the other against their skin and the eye contact they shared made each of them feel eager.

                “Your turn,” Rey breathed.

                Ben’s eyes fell to her parted mouth. “I give up. You win.”

He kissed her firmly, enjoying the pressure of her soft lips moving against his. His hands were swift as they pulled her sweater over her head and discarded it on the floor. Her skin was soft and smooth underneath his large hands as they wandered up her sides and back. Rey continued to gyrate against his crotch, which she could feel stiffen attentively between her thighs. The idea of protection came quickly to her mind, but she didn’t want to stop the intimate game of push and pull they were playing. The question came out in a breathy moan.

“Do you have a condom handy?”

Ben smirked, leaning back into the couch so he could dig in his pants pocket, from which he produced the wrapped protection. He wiggled it in his fingers and tossed it onto the couch next to him.

“Fret not. I came prepared for just such a situation.” He said.

“My hero…” Rey smiled, pulling up on his shirt as he had done to hers.

Their reunion escalated quickly. Ben left heated kisses down Rey’s chest, allowing his fingers and mouth to pay tribute to her breasts, beautiful as they were. They were soft and supple, and the areola dimpled at his touch, her nipples stiffening against his tongue. His breath was hot as it cascaded across her chest. That, matched with his expert handiwork, made Rey yearn desperately for more. She could feel herself growing wetter and wetter with each passing second that he was not yet inside of her. She allowed her hands to traverse the curves and angles of his upper body, tracing his collarbone and sternum, her fingers tickling down his stomach to the button of his jeans. She delicately rubbed the stiff shape of his cock through his pants, massaging the length of it at a teasing pace.

Ben moaned softly, “I want you right now, just like this.”

Rey gave her approval in the form of her unfastening his jeans and helping pull them off. Her entire body was screaming out for his touch, for the satisfaction of their bodies uniting in a fit of passion. Gooseflesh coated both of their bodies, not having been caused by the room temperature on their naked skin. Ben tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth, easily coaxing the protection down over his length. Rey had raised her hips to allow him to do this and now held him gently in her palm, guiding him inside, unable to wait any longer. Ever so slowly, she sank down on top of him, allowing him to fill her with that incredible sensation of pressure and warmth that spread all the way out to her fingers and toes. Their breathing hitched as they became one. Rey settled herself, adjusting to the feeling, before she began to move. Each slow rise and descent of her hips was carefully timed and she allowed herself to savour the expression of awe and temptation on Ben’s face.

“Just like this?” Rey asked, circling her hips around him, plunging him deeper inside.

A choked moan escaped his lips as he tilted his head back. “Yes…” His brow creased in concentration and his lips remained parted ever so slightly.

Rey sighed dreamily, closing her eyes. He was moving with her now, matching her pattern and guiding her down onto him with his hands around her waist. He persuaded her into a slightly faster speed, leaving delicate nips and kisses along her collarbone to urge her on. Her fingernails dug deep into his shoulders, leaving red welts in their path. His thrusts were growing harder and more desperate, finding that place hidden deep within her that pushed her to the brink of infinity. She cried out pleasurably as she came, mewling delicately as the intense vibration of her orgasm gradually slowed. The cascade of warm wetness that embraced his cock as her walls tightened around him brought with it his end. With two more deep penetrations he was there with her, muffling himself with the curve of her throat, his fingertips white with pressure as they curled tightly around the hair at the back of her head.

“Oh…” Rey breathed after a moment, somehow finding the strength to lift herself back up, having previously collapsed against Ben’s front.

Ben blinked, slowly coming out of his euphoric trance. He kissed the bronzed skin of her arm, forcing himself into some form of composure. Carefully, he lifted her off and removed himself, tying off the condom and tossing it in a small garbage can beneath the end table. Rey fell to one side, delighting in the soft welcome his couch gave her naked, sensitive body. She could fall asleep right then and there, if she wasn’t careful. Ben ducked down, wedging himself between her and the back of the couch with ease. She peered up into his dark eyes, unable to withhold a smile as once more she found herself appreciating his unique beauty.

“Once again you’ve floored me, Solo,” she noted groggily.

Ben smiled. “Thank you for the compliment, but it’s not very hard. You just feel so fucking good, it makes me want to satisfy you again and again…” He nipped playfully at her throat.

“Hey, who’s biting who now?” she quipped, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

Ben shrugged. “I’ve decided I like it.”

“Mm…then by all means, do continue…”

It wasn’t long before Ben’s curious mouth once again found hers. The kisses they shared then were just as passionate as they had been before, but there was something different that time. There was an alluring tenderness that had not been there before. It was as if there was something else there, something deeper and more sincere, peering out from behind the carnal motivations of their forbidden relationship. Rey found herself utterly surprised by this unanticipated realization, and quickly moved to ignore it. Emotions had no place in their situation and she did not wish to welcome any into it by dwelling on the matter. They wanted each other for sex and nothing more.

“Do you think we could give that bed of yours a try?” Rey asked, reigning the situation in on her own accord.

Ben’s eyebrows shot up. “Yeah, you sure?” When Rey nodded, he quickly replied, “Hell yes we can. And hey, if you can put a dent in my wall with the headboard I’ll give you an extra twenty points.”


	4. The Rose Bush & the Briar

“My god, you’ve completely lost it.”

          Catherine Downey was as beautiful as she was blunt. A good, if not slightly off-putting habit, Rey now received it with a tinge of regret. She should never have said a word about her and Ben to Catherine. But Christ, she had to tell _somebody_.

          “Look, I know how it sounds…” Rey began.

          “Do you, though? Do you know what it sounds like? You’re in pretty dangerous territory, especially for a goody-two-shoes like yourself.” Cat squinted her almond-shaped eyes at Rey. “I can only imagine what’s keeping you from letting go…” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

          Rey frowned. “I know, okay? I know it’s bad and I could get in a lot of trouble. It’s totally unlike me to do something this reckless and stupid. But we’re careful. And I…I don’t know, I have like, an addiction to it almost. To the risk, I mean.”

          “So…what? This is your ‘wild phase’?” Cat rolled her eyes without actually rolling them, a talent she was quite well-known for. “Seriously, Rey. This guy has got to be the single greatest fuck on planet Earth for you to keep yourself in this kind of a position.”

          He very well could be; Rey didn’t have a very large retinue to base her judgement off of. To her, he was pretty incredible at what he did. He never failed to please her, at the very least.

          “I don’t know about all that…” she replied meekly, picking at the plastic lid of her disposable coffee cup.

          “Then what? What is it?” Catherine demanded fiercely.

          It was a release. Temporary freedom from the stress of her daily life. It was somebody that wanted her for more than just a good chat and a couple of drinks. It was all these things and so much more, but Rey found herself entirely unable to sum it up in just a few words. There was no way she could explain it in a manner that Catherine would understand. Rey could see her friend was floored by this news, and even a little disappointed in her. Of course, when Rey had initially spilled the beans that the guy she slept with that night at the bar was actually a professor, Catherine had instantly assumed that was the end of things. An awkward discovery had come to light, and Rey and Ben were no more because of it. But that wasn’t the case at all, and Rey had just decided to come out and say it. She couldn’t fathom the effort of trying to hide it from someone so involved in her personal life. In hindsight, the struggle of hiding it may have been easier than telling the truth.

          “I don’t know,” Rey answered morosely. “It’s fun.”

          Catherine sighed deeply and pushed her curly hair out of her face. “Well,” she huffed, “that’s on you, I guess.”

Rey chewed her lip nervously. “I know you don’t approve, but I’m asking you to keep quiet about it. Promise me you won’t tell anyone?”

“Fine,” Catherine said flippantly. “But I’m telling you now, this will not end well no matter if you get found out or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I _mean_ , you’re either going to have your entire college career sacrificed, or you’re going to fall in love with a man you can’t ethically be with. My bet is on the latter.”

***

Rey took her seat in class that morning with Catherine’s presumptuous words lingering in her mind. Her foot shook rapidly as she held it crossed over her knee, and she appeared to be staring straight through the brick wall of the classroom. Once Ben walked in and the chatter began to die down, she snapped back into focus, opening her notebook and taking a sip of her quickly cooling coffee.

“God, he’s hot,” A strawberry-blonde girl sitting in the row in front of Rey leaned over to comment in her friend’s ear. “Look at the size of him. I bet he’s an absolute monster in the sheets.”

Rey choked on her coffee. It sprayed out as she coughed, spattering in a few fine droplets by her feet. Quickly, she tried to recover, clearing her throat repeatedly. But both girls had turned around and fixed her with quizzical stares. She gave them an awkward smile and they shrugged, turning back around. Rey bit down on her tongue, hard.

“Alright, I guess we should start,” Ben said, his voice booming over the room through the speaker system.

Every time he spoke, something fluttered awake within Rey’s chest. His voice was warm and deep and it pulled at her with hypnotizing fingers. She couldn’t help but to hear that voice moaning her name in the back of her head. Needless to say, it distracted her. She found herself struggling to keep up with her notetaking. The more she found herself distracted by Ben’s very presence, the more afraid she became that Catherine’s doomed prophesy was coming true. Why would the mere sound of his voice make her feel so intensely if there were no feelings involved in their “relationship”?

Five minutes before class was to end, Ben directed everyone’s attention to a long table at the front of the room with four separate piles of papers atop it. Collectively, the anxiety levels of everyone in the room rose.

“I have here your marked papers,” Ben announced. “They’re organized alphabetically by last name. This pile is the letters A-F, and so on. Please, don’t shove one another to try and get to your paper. It’s just the first paper of the term. And half of you probably won’t like the mark you got anyway.”

People swallowed nervously, others shifted in their seats.

“Come on up and grab them, then you can go. We’ll discuss the papers next class!”

His voice was almost drowned out by the cacophony of a classroom full of students rising from their chairs, collecting their books, and stomping down the stairs to retrieve their assignments. Rey slipped into the slow-moving line quietly. She followed it step-by-step down the stairs until she finally reached the table, although she was one of the last ones to get there. She dug through her assigned pile, which by that time was reduced to three essays, scattered this way and that. She picked hers out with ease and opened to the grading sheet, eyes eagerly scanning for that number written in red ink.

Seventy-eight percent. She hadn’t gotten lower than an eighty-four since grade school. And she was _fucking_ this guy, for crying out loud!

She scanned the room and found Ben still standing behind his desk, logging off the computer. She stomped over to him and flapped her paper in his stunned face.

“Seventy-eight? _Really?_ Seventy-eight?!” she demanded loudly.

Ben’s eyes scanned the room before darting back to her sharply, reprimanding her with just a glance. Her shoulders slackened slightly.

“You may want to wait to yell at me until your classmates are gone, lest you desire the funny looks you’re receiving.” Ben warned in a low voice.

Rey huffed but kept her mouth clamped shut until the last person had filed out, looking rather in a hurry after reading the room.

“Now, what’s going on? Sounds like you have a problem with the grade I gave you?” Ben asked calmly, packing away his things. “I did warn you not everyone would like what they saw…”

“But a seventy-eight? I thought my analysis of what makes a Greek hero was well above an eighty-seven! It-it was in-depth, it made a very clear argument, and I think I proved myself quite well.”

“Do you?” Ben queried innocently. “Because I think it was a seventy-eight kind of argument.”

“Then _please_ ,” Rey snarled, chewing out her words, “can we go over it together?”

“Absolutely. My office?”

“No. Here.”

Ben raised one dark eyebrow but shrugged. “Fine. May I take a look?” He held his hand out expectantly.

Rey all but shoved the paper into his awaiting palm.

His eyes perused the paper and his comments quickly. After a minute he placed the paper calmly back atop the table and fixed her with a nonplussed stare.

“Right. Well, your paper was good, I will give you that. Well-written, with clear intent. I quite liked the subtle humour you added when discussing the Greek hero and the tragedy that so often follows one around. But, it wasn’t analytical enough.”

Rey stood in silence a moment, slowly processing his words. “Not…analytical enough?” she finally asked.

“Yes…how should I phrase it? You weren’t critical enough of what the sources told you. This kind of analysis requires you to be extremely critical of every little detail in these classic tales. They’re tropes, to be sure, but they’re more than that. They’re more than just myths, too. I understand this is not your area of preferred study, and I must admit your scholarly aptitudes for psychology and sociology translated excellently in this paper. However, I feel as though you need to change your perspective just a touch to improve in this class. You need to shift the focus from the scientific surface level to the more technical, metaphorical stuff beneath all that. Does that make sense?”

Rey didn’t say anything, but rather chewed on her lips and nodded up and down continuously, the way someone does when they want to look like they’re answering a question but in reality they probably didn’t even hear what the question was.

“And…I’m sure you don’t want to hear this, but…it would have been an eighty or higher, except that you formatted your citations incorrectly.” Ben added quickly, jumbling his words on purpose.

Rey let out a sound that was halfway between a laugh and a sigh, quickly pressing her knuckles to her teeth. She groaned as the enamel sunk into the tightened skin over the bone.

“Wrong format,” she repeated dreamily. “I used the wrong…format.”

Ben sucked in air through his teeth. “You okay?”

Rey gawked at him for a second, wanting to scream at him that no, she was not okay, in fact she was really rather enraged just then, thanks for asking. But instead she saw the sincerity in his face and remembered that he hadn’t done any of this to hurt her personally. He was only doing his job. If he didn’t treat her like any other student, it would look suspicious. He gave her the mark he thought she deserved, and she could hardly scream at him for it, as much as she might want to. She took a deep, calming breath, shut her eyes for a second, and when she opened them they were serene, if not a little bit tired.

“I’ll be fine,” she said gently, “thanks for asking.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yeah. Seven years of post-secondary schooling and I just fucked up on my citations. My pride has taken a severe hit today. But I think I’ll survive.” Resigned, she shoved the paper into her bag, trying to just forget it even existed.

“I hope so,” Ben agreed. “Anything I can do to help? Or I suppose I’ve probably done enough, right?”

Rey gave him a small smile. “Maybe not.” She turned to leave, but was stopped by his voice.

“Rey, wait.” He looked hesitant about something as he approached her. “I hope…I mean, I don’t want to upset you…”

“No, it’s fine, Dr. Solo,” Rey affirmed hastily. “You’re just doing your job, right?”

Ben swallowed. “Yes, I am.”

“I’ll do better next time.”

His fingers were warm and soft as they grasped for her own, dancing across her knuckles. Her eyes were drawn to the dip of his collarbone, just visible behind the open collar of his cotton button-down. She made a very conscious effort not to chew on her lip.

“I’m not at all worried about that,” Ben said quietly.

Rey squeezed his fingers quickly and dropped her hand. “I should get going, though. I’ve got a lot of work to do.”

“Oh, alright. Well, good luck, then.” Ben hastily retreated back into his professional persona, slipping it on like a well-worn jacket, hiding the impulses he could not act on.

“Thanks.”

Rey left the classroom, the number seventy-eight still flashing red in her mind.

***

“Urgh…”

Rey’s fingers clawed through the roots of her hair in frustration. For the last twenty-five minutes, she had been looking through a very long book for one particular quote that she _knew_ she had seen earlier, but had not been able to find it as of yet. She needed it for a presentation she was working on and it was driving her absolutely nuts that she couldn’t find it. _I should’ve bookmarked it,_ she reprimanded herself. _I mess up my citations and now I’m failing to bookmark important notes? What is happening to me?_

Annoyed, she slipped into the kitchen to pour herself another cup of tea. She was contemplating taking a short break when she returned to her desk and sat down. Maybe catch up on one of the shows she had started watching three years ago and never finished. The thought was tantalizing, but her phone vibrating next to her laptop pulled her away from it. It was a text from Ben, which confused her for a moment. They had shared numbers but this was the first time he was texting her. He didn’t seem like the texting type.

**Hey. You’re not mad at me, are you?**

Rey groaned, hastily typing out her reply:

_No. Like I said, you were only doing your job._

A few seconds later, her phone pinged again.

**Right. I just wanted to make sure, I guess. I do feel kind of bad.**

_Why?_

**You looked disappointed.**

_I was. But not in you. In myself._

There was a longer pause this time before he finally responded:

**You’re a great scholar. I don’t want you to think less of yourself because of one mark at the start of term. You still scored much higher than the class average. The rest of these kids aren’t shit compared to you.**

Rey couldn’t help but smile as she typed her response.

_Aren’t they? Dr. Solo, are you allowed to speak about your students like that?_

**I’m not allowed to do a lot of the things I do. You know that.**

_You’re right. I do._

Rey figured that would be the end of the conversation, so she set her phone back down and opened Netflix on her laptop. It was then she realized she couldn’t remember her password. She was just sending a code to her email when her phone pinged once more, startling her a bit.

**You live in the Aspen building on campus, right? The big, new one for grad students?**

Rey squinted at the message, quickly growing suspicious.

_Yes…why?_

**No reason. What’s your room #?**

_316…What are you on about?_

There was no immediate reply this time. This gave Rey ample reason for concern. _He wouldn’t come here,_ she told herself. _He’s not that stupid. Someone will see him! There’s almost two-hundred and thirty students in this building, someone’s bound to recognize him—_

_Knock, knock._

Her head shot up. Slowly, she rose out of her computer chair and crept towards her door. When she got closer, two more knocks greeted her.

“No way…” she breathed.

The door opened gradually to reveal Ben, a towering figure that made her doorway look impossibly small. He had his hood pulled up and his glasses off. In jeans and a hoodie he looked like any other student, but not enough to fool Rey. Quickly, she grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him inside.

“What are you doing here?!” she demanded in a hushed tone.

“I thought it was obvious, but I came to see you,” was his reply.

“Yeah, I get that. This is a student’s building, though! What if someone saw you?”

“No one did. I didn’t meet one single person on my way up here. And I kept my face pretty well hidden from the cameras in the lobby and hallway if I do say so myself.”

Rey sighed but accepted the fact that he was there now, in her living quarters, with that damned crooked smile starting to form on his face.

“Don’t you have an apartment off-campus to go to?” she asked, not intending it as rude but allowing a bit of playful judgement to seep into her voice.

“I do, but I was working late. I just left my office now and…well, initially I _was_ headed for my truck, but my feet brought me here…so.”

“Oh…” Rey folded her arms across her chest and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Why would they do that?”

Ben looked down at her with the softest expression on his face.

“I can only imagine.” he said dreamily.

Rey cleared her throat, blinking to tear her eyes away from his gaze. “Er, well, would you like some tea…?”

“No, thanks. I just drank about a pot and half of coffee.” Ben dismissed politely, following her into her small apartment.

Rey dragged her feet a bit after that, awkwardly drifting around, unsure where to take the conversation next. She was hoping tea would be her conversation starter, but it had more or less failed. Ben stood there in the entryway to her living room, looking all the part like a calm Icarus, emboldened by his risky choices and looking at her as though she was the sun. She quickly looked away from him as heat blossomed in her face. His eyes fell away to her computer desk, where her laptop remained opened to Netflix and several books and printed papers lay scattered about.

“Were you working on something?” he asked.

“I was,” Rey admitted, strolling over to her desk and frowning at her computer. She promptly shut it. “I got fed up though and needed to take a break.”

“Fed up how? Maybe I can help,”

“I doubt that. I’m trying to find this one obscure argument on the toxicity of groupthink mentality and its evolution in the twenty-first century, but for the life of me I can’t do it. I know it’s in this book—” She picked up the hefty volume and glared at its roan red cover.

“May I see?” Ben asked.

She gave him the book quite willingly, having exhausted her own efforts with it. He read through a few pages and nodded thoughtfully.

“Ah, yes, I know this book,” he said.

Rey perked up. “You do?”

“Yes. And I think I might know the quote you’re talking about,” He flipped to the table of contents, then to the index in the back before finally shaking his head and handing the book back to her. “But this is the wrong volume.”

Rey, stunned, gave Ben a quizzical look. “It is?”

“Yeah. You want the third volume, then you’ll find it, I promise.” He looked quite proud of himself, despite the scathing look of equal parts jealousy and amazement Rey was giving him.

“How do you—?”

“I read a lot of books,” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s kind of my job.”

“I know that…I just figured your nose would be permanently stuck in the ancient texts, not a lengthy sociological thesis.”

“I dabble outside of my field of study, believe it or not,” Ben quipped with pride.

Rey chuckled lightheartedly. “I suppose I’m grateful that you do.”

Ben made a noise of contentment and looked around her small living space, as if for the first time.

“So this is what they charge you grad students all that money for, huh? There’s nice granite in the kitchen, at least.”

He wandered around for a moment, drawn to a curio cabinet that housed little ceramic figurines that were clearly decades old, some little toys and action figures, small succulents in hand-painted pots, and pictures in frames from days past.

“I do like what you’ve done with the place, though.”

Rey blushed some more. Ben had more than shown his intelligence and maturity that day, and the thought of him looking around her apartment made her feel intimidated for some reason. She suddenly thought the throw blanket sitting in a knot atop her pull-out couch was too messy, and maybe she should have swept the floor when she got home instead of waiting until tomorrow to do it. But Ben didn’t seem to care about any of these things. He just looked back at her with a kind expression and returned to her side. She remembered how he had told her he was messy, which is why he hired a housecleaner. Maybe this was clean to him, she thought.

“So…are you still wanting to take that break?” he asked.

Rey smiled warmly. “Yeah, actually. What do you recommend we do?” Playfully, she strode up closer to him, lacing her fingers together in front of her.

“Well, there’s the always tantalizing idea of doing nothing,” Ben mused, twirling a silky lock of her hair around his index finger.

“Mm…”

“Or…have you eaten?” He raised an eyebrow.

Rey chuckled. “Yes.”

“Hmm…we could sit on your couch and watch a movie,” Ben suggested in a dreamy voice, allowing his fingertips to slip slowly down the side of her jaw. He could feel her breasts against him, soft but warm behind her shirt.

“Oh, it’s been _so_ long since I’ve sat and watched a movie,” Rey lamented breathily, inclining her chin as her eyes fell to his brilliant, full lips.

“Has it…?” A smile flirted across his mouth. He planted quick, glancing kisses on her nose and the sides of her mouth, purely to tease her. “Or, we could just have sex.”

Rey smiled coyly, inclining her heels to plant a steamy kiss firmly on his lips. “Movie it is, then,” she purred.

Ben laughed but followed her to the couch anyway and took a seat while she got the television going. She pulled up her video streaming service and clicked down to the movie section before returning to sit by Ben’s side. Their hips touched comfortably as the couch mattress sunk to accommodate their weight.

“Oh look at that, a good one right off the start!” Ben observed, pointing to the TV, where _The Village_ boasted an eerie cover art.

“ _The Village_ …what’s it about? A village, I presume?” Rey cocked an eyebrow.

“You…you’ve never seen _The Village_? M. Night Shyamalan? Really?” Ben asked, astounded.

Rey shrugged. “I don’t watch a lot of movies.”

“Well it’s settled, then. Press play.”

She gave him a studious look before she relented. He slipped his arm over her shoulders and she gratefully reclined into his side.

“So, wait, what is it really about?” she asked again.

Ben shook his head. “Can’t tell you; it’d ruin the surprise.”

“Surprise? What kind of surprise? Good? Bad?”

“Shh, it’s starting. Just watch.” Ben smiled, giving her shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

Part way through the movie, as the suspense built in a terrifying scene in which the heroine was nearly captured, Rey gasped and quickly pressed her cheek to Ben’s chest, shutting her eyes tight, unable to watch what happened next. Moments later she felt the gentle push of Ben’s finger under her chin, coaxing her face up towards his. He kissed her softly, and she eagerly returned the favour. He directed her attention back to the movie, though, so she settled for nuzzling a little closer to him.

By the time the movie was over, Rey was fast asleep with her head resting against Ben’s chest. He stayed like that with her for a little while longer, simply listening to her soft, steady breaths and quiet snores. As carefully as he could, he tried to maneuver himself out from under her, but she woke up anyway with a slight start.

“Hm? Did she get the medicine?” she asked drowsily.

Ben chuckled. “Yes, she got the medicine.”

He scooped her up in his arms and took her back to her bedroom where he tucked her in under her purple comforter. Snug and cozy amidst her pillows and blankets, with the old plush dog she had had since childhood, Sir Sniffers, pressed familiarly against her side. She smiled sleepily up at Ben.

“Hey, Ben? You’re a really nice guy.” She said.

He smiled. “Thank you. Goodnight, Rey.” He bent down to kiss her head before he stood up and left, closing the door to her apartment quietly behind him.

Rey rolled over, still with a smile on her face, and shut her eyes. Visions of Ben’s smile floated through her head, along with pleasant echoes of his voice. Seconds later her eyes opened with an alarmed snap as two sudden realizations struck her hard:

  1. She was developing feelings that hinged on romantic alarmingly fast, and if she wasn’t mistaken, Ben’s actions hinted much the same, and thus;
  2. Catherine had been right, _as fucking always._




	5. Everything Was Plain Before You

Rey sighed, twisting her highlighter impatiently in her fingers, as she desperately scrambled to re-read the same sentence she had been trying to absorb off the page for the last ten minutes. It was late, around ten o’clock at night, and she was perched in her bed amongst all her pillows with the reader book for Ben’s class propped up against her thighs. He had two chapters assigned for the next class but the only problem was their subject matter was too dry and hard to follow for someone in her current position: that is, tired, frustrated, and contemptuous.

            Ben’s remarks about her having to “dig deeper” in her readings and assignments haunted her with every word that her eyes glazed across. Not only that, but her constant self-nagging in regards to how she felt about Ben was beginning to drive her insane. She had her own personal inner-Catherine, so to speak, reminding her constantly that she was making a mistake. So, her inner-Catherine and her inner-self would bicker relentlessly, hashing over the pros and cons and raising Rey’s stress levels considerably.

            Her phone buzzed next to her on her bed. Curious, she peered at it.

            **Didn’t see you in class this morning.**

            Rey’s face went about five shades redder. She’d skipped Ben’s morning lecture because of all the conflicting emotions she was experiencing, but she didn’t think he’d notice. Sure, she had _hoped_ he would in spite of herself; that little piece of her that wanted to be the only thought on his mind.

            She chewed her lip as she picked up her phone, staring nervously at the open text. It took her several minutes to type up a reply she felt was appropriate, even if it was a lie.

            _Woke up with a terrible migraine. Was stuck in bed all morning._

            She threw her phone back down as though it had spontaneously combusted in her palm. _He won’t believe that,_ she chided herself. _There’s no way he’ll believe that._ His response was curt and quick:

            **I see. Hope you’re feeling better.**

            Rey couldn’t bring herself to say or do anything more. Both her phone and the reader book for his class got tossed onto her bedside table, and the room light was promptly shut off. Her anxious thoughts, however, could not be so easily ignored and they lingered even in her dreams.

            ***

            The next evening, Rey stood before her full-length mirror, examining her reflection with a look of impassivity. The black one-shoulder dress she wore was five years old and had already seen its fair share of formal occasions, but she couldn’t be bothered to go out and buy something new. The material clung to her skin in a way that accentuated the pinch of her waist beautifully. It came to an end mid-way down her thighs, and from there her legs seemed to stretch on for days before they finally came to an end in simple, pointed-toe black heels. She wore Swarovski crystals on her wrists and in her ears, and a chunky, black necklace. All in all, she thought herself to look rather plain. But looking plain was the point of alumni department dinners, wasn’t it? If she stuck out at one of those things, she’d _really_ stick out.

            When she arrived at the alumni club building, an old stone house tucked away on the northern end of campus, she was relieved to find that she looked much like everyone else present. There were an awful lot of white heads, as alumni meetings tended to persuade larger amounts of the “older crowd” to congregate, but she found a few familiar faces closer to her own age group that were significantly easier to talk to. Champagne in hand, she talked and laughed with an old study-abroad pal from her undergrad named Finn. She was relieved to see he was still as charming as he’d always been, even though he had gained himself a successful law firm and a pilot for a boyfriend. Throughout their entire conversation Rey had been steadfast in ensuring that he did all the talking. She didn’t much want to talk about herself just then, because in her opinion, her life was a mess. Especially in comparison to Finn’s. What could she really say that would hold any sort of weight against a well-paying job and a promising, healthy relationship? Surely “I’m still working on my Master’s and sort-of having sex with an associate professor on the side” was not the right answer.

            But of course, Finn eventually had enough of being the centre of conversation and passed the ball back to Rey with a simple “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

            Rey took a long, contemplative sip of her champagne. The bubbles fizzled against the tip of her tongue as her eyes happened to catch the look of a pair of dark ones across the room. She did an instant double-take. Ben stood on the other end of the room holding a scotch in his hand and staring straight at her even though he was clearly deep in conversation with one of the older professors. He looked astonishingly handsome for a scholar with his dark hair brushed neatly, his thick-rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, wearing a lovely navy suit and tie with the jacket left open. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards slightly.

            Rey cleared her throat and blinked fast, returning herself to the conversation she’d been having with Finn. She gave him a quivering smile.

            “No, no I’m not seeing anyone,” she said firmly. “I don’t really have time for that, you know?”

            Finn laughed heartily. “Right, right. I remember. So how much sleep are you averaging a night? Four? Five hours? I think that was about my average during my Master’s…”

            After another twenty minutes of discussion Rey excused herself, desperately needing to refill her glass. As she was taking a fresh one off the table, she could feel someone approaching her from behind. She swivelled around and came face-to-face with Ben, who looked back at her with a pleasantly surprised expression.

            “I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, reaching past her to grab his own glass. His arm brushed the bare skin of her strapless shoulder, in a gesture that Rey assumed was entirely on-purpose.

            “I could say the same to you,” she responded warily.

            “I like these things, there’s free food and refills,” he said roguishly. “I suppose you’re feeling better then?”

            Rey nodded. “Yeah, lots. Thanks.”

            “Does that happen often? The migraines, I mean?” He gestured vaguely in the air with the hand that was holding his drink.

            Rey shifted uncomfortably. Truth be told, she had never had a migraine before in her life, but her foster sister got them constantly as a kid, so that’s where she got the idea from. She cleared her throat.

            “No. I mean, it used to, when I was young. But it’s rare nowadays.”

            “Mm. Interesting.”

            _If you don’t believe me, you could just say so,_ Rey quipped inside her head. _Instead of tugging me along and watching me squirm just for fun._

            “So, what… _are_ you doing here?” Rey asked, squinting. “Did the Dean make you come?”

            “Who, Dr. Rosenthal? No. Isn’t it obvious? I came here to pick up the grandmas,” Ben said jokingly, gesturing out at the room. “It’s like a field of white dandelions out there, fresh for the picking.”

            Rey laughed, although she tried not to. _Damn him and his charm_.

            “That doesn’t answer my question,” she said.

            “You’re right, it doesn’t. But the real answer isn’t that interesting,” Ben shrugged.

            “The Dean did make you come, didn’t he?”

            “Oh, yeah, he absolutely did.”

            “Thought so.”

            “You look very nice, in any case,” he said casually, giving her a polite smile.

            Rey blushed. Ben didn’t seem to care how old her dress was. Watching him struggle to keep his eyes trained on her face gave her an oddly empowering sense of delight. She could see he wanted to drink all of her in, slowly absorbing every curve and crease of the lightweight fabric, and trying not to was like refusing water in a drought.

            “You look good, too,” Rey said. “Very scholarly.”

            “Thanks. I’m pretty sure this ensemble is a couple years old now. If I’m not mistaken, I wore it to my cousin’s wedding. Should I be concerned it looks more appropriate in this situation? Maybe I looked like that stereotypical asshole who studies the Classics and that’s why my table got called last to eat…”

            Rey chuckled, taking a long swallow from her glass. An intrigued, secret smirk was plastered on her face. “You don’t say,” she murmured.

            “But you…you know, the second I saw you, I completely forgot what Dr. Harrison and I had been talking about. I blanked. When he asked me what my thoughts were, I just said yes. He looked so concerned for a second before quietly excusing himself. I looked like a fool but it was worth it.”

            “I was a bit shocked myself,” Rey admitted, running her fingers up the side of her glass and down again. “But you certainly did stare…”

            Ben nodded. He was staring at her now, with that same, intent expression on his face. As always, Rey could feel his attentions reverberate within her as though someone was plucking a chord on a guitar and her body made up the strings. A thousand wicked ideas flashed in those eyes of his, making her blush deeply.

            “Don’t you think you shouldn’t openly gawk? What if someone took notice?” she chided, half-joking and half just trying to repress the swelling urge to plant a kiss on those big dumb lips of his.

            “Who’s going to have the time to notice? I don’t see anyone analyzing expressions around here, do you? If anyone nearby knew what I was thinking right now, I can guarantee you they’d be quite flustered in appearance. Blushing, like you are right now.” His eyes scanned the room teasingly. “Looks like you’re the only one who fits the bill. Which begs the question: what’s going on in _your_ mind right now?”

            Rey caught her lower lip in her teeth and slowly released it in a coy smile. She knew she shouldn’t be flirting with Ben; she shouldn’t even be speaking to him outside of class. But she just couldn’t help herself when she was around him, and it was clear he felt just as helpless around her. Didn’t that mean something? Shouldn’t it? _No!_ The voice yelled inside her head. _It means nothing! Stop reading into things, you stupid girl!_

            “It’s best I not tell you here,” she replied, quickly matching the pace he had set for their hushed conversation. “It’s far too inappropriate for this place.”

            Ben’s face lit up. He leaned in a little closer to whisper in her ear, “Then let’s go somewhere where you won’t have to tell me; you can show me.”

            He began to walk away from her, but her legs had locked into place. When he saw she wasn’t behind him, he waved at her as inconspicuously as possible, signalling her to please follow. Her brain was muddled; a thousand different thoughts raced at a thousand different volumes through her mind on a constant loop. She struggled but eventually snapped herself out of it, grabbing two more flutes of champagne off the table before following him at a fair distance out of the club and into the darkened parking lot.

            It had rained during the day and the asphalt was wet, reflecting the dull orange glow of the only nearby streetlight. A cool, refreshing breeze entangled Rey and she gasped as it swirled through her hair and around her legs.

            “My office isn’t far,” Ben said, taking note of her reaction and shrugging off his jacket so he could drape it over her shoulders. “Here.”

            She gratefully slipped it on, happy for the body heat it had retained. It wasn’t that cold out once she adjusted, but his jacket was a nice, comforting replacement for touch, something they couldn’t and wouldn’t share until they were behind a locked door and safe. Rey watched as Ben shoved his hands in his pockets while they walked.

            “I just want you to know,” he said quietly, “that when I said you looked very nice earlier, what I really meant was that you look so fucking hot I can hardly stand it. That dress…is doing things to me.”

            Rey smirked with pride. Not too bad for an old little black dress.

            “Well then…maybe I’ll keep it on while you please me,” she said with a little extra lust to her tone, which she found underscored her words nicely. She could see Ben’s eyebrows shoot up.

            “I think maybe you should.”

            The elevator ride up to Ben’s office was thick with sexual tension, although they didn’t even come close to touching one another. They stood inches apart, close enough to feel the other person’s presence but without making physical contact. Rey’s fingers danced slowly along the buttons of Ben’s jacket, caressing each one in passing. Ben removed his glasses and cleared his throat. The wait was either the worst part or one of the best. It varied based upon levels of anticipation and desire. At that particular moment it was deliciously frustrating for both of them.

            After Ben had unlocked his door and granted them both entry, he relocked it behind them and set his glasses down on a shelf, fixing Rey with a hungry look.

            “Take a seat,” he requested, gesturing towards his desk chair.

            Rey pulled off his jacket and hung it up on a skinny coat rack before doing as she was told. Now sat behind his desk, opposite the room from him, she studied him with intense curiosity. He loosened his tie, twisting it casually until it hung nice and low. Following that, he undid the first three buttons of his white cotton shirt. She watched as his large hands rested on his belt buckle. The metallic sounds of it coming undone made her wiggle with dark excitement. All prior convictions and trepidations had dissipated for the time being; the only feelings for Ben she could focus on were the sexual ones. The need to feel his skin and warm lips on her, the aching desire to pull him into her, the uncontrollable urge to make him cry out with unbridled passion drove her and excited her. She felt entirely alive, awake, and present in that moment.

            He walked slowly over to her, now allowing his eyes to roam wherever they liked. He drank in her reposed form, admiring every curve and how the material of her dress flowed over them like water. He knelt before her, getting down on both knees, and she gratefully parted her legs to allow him to get closer. His right hand slipped up her thigh, stopping near her hip. She wrapped her fingers around his tie and pulled on it lightly, urging him closer to her like a dog on a leash. His eyes glittered at her like a night sky, beckoning her to reach out and touch the stars, to touch _him_.

            A giddy smile crossed her lips. “We’re in your office,” she mused, pulling him still closer by his tie.

            “Mhmm…” he purred, eyes eagerly trained on her lips.

            “Have you ever…in here?” she asked in a whisper.

            Ben’s hands searched under her dress for the elastic of her underwear. When he finally had his fingers looped around it, he tugged once, hard enough to pull them under Rey’s bottom. She gasped in surprise.

            “No,” he said, slowly pulling her underwear down her thighs and past her knees.

            “Hmm. Then I guess we better make it count.”

            She lifted one foot, still in its black heel, and pressed the toe of it to Ben’s chest. He smirked at her dare and met it gladly, removing both her shoes with due care and attention, followed by her underwear. His hands then drifted up her leg, passing over the curve of her knee, tickling wonderfully up her thigh to her hip. Once there he cupped her behind with both hands and pulled her forward to the very edge of the seat. Now finally content with his position, he pulled the hem of her dress up, draped her legs over his shoulders, and began leaving slow, precise kisses all along her inner thigh.

            Heat instantly blossomed in Rey’s face and her fingers automatically went to his thick hair. She took great pleasure in messing up his perfectly brushed hair, and he didn’t seem to mind one bit. When his warm, wet mouth finally made contact with her aching centre, she gasped loudly and gripped his hair tighter, pulling some of it out between her fingers.

            He fit perfectly against her, twisting his tongue this way and that in a well-choreographed dance, using it to tease her repeatedly. She lost all sense of time and self; the room seemed to disappear around her. All she knew and all she felt was her own heartbeat, racing to remind her this was not a dream, and the sensation he was giving her. She felt like she was melting into him and as the pleasure increased she had to clamp a hand over her mouth, lest anyone else be working late on Ben’s floor. But her breathy moans and choked gasps still escaped, only muffled now.

            Ben’s hands gripped her thighs tighter. He could feel her cresting the peak, responding perfectly to every move he made. To him, she tasted incredible, like berries and cream; sweet and warm against his tongue. His erection strained against his pants and he faltered, letting his legs slip open further to alleviate some of the pressure. As Rey began to breathe harder and faster, he emitted a low growl sound and pulled her closer, burying himself between her legs, doubling his efforts.

            “Ben…!” Rey exclaimed, all caution now thrown out the window as her orgasm overtook her, making her tremble and twitch against him.

            When she finally came down he raised his head, his hair now a proper tousled mess, sticking up at all different angles. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, keeping his eyes trained on hers as he did so. She blinked back at him, still in a daze, still reclined in his office chair. Slowly and with much effort she stood up, her legs trembling beneath her. She braced herself against him and he happily supported her. Her fingers began to deftly unbutton his shirt to expose his bare torso.

            “That was fun,” she said breathlessly, pushing his shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor at his feet. Her fingers ran across his chest and over the muscles of his toned stomach down to the button of his pants. His dark pubic hair made a perfect thin line that disappeared below the waist of his pants. She worked quickly at getting them off of him.

            “Now let’s play the real thing, shall we?” she asked dreamily, yanking down on his boxers much like he did to her own underwear.

            His erection sprang free and she grasped it in her hand, delighting in the warm, pleasant feeling of it. She stroked it slowly, watching his expression gradually slip away from smugness into the realm of euphoric pleasure. He braced himself against the edge of his desk, gripping it tightly. Rey quite liked seeing him come undone like that, all because of her touch. It made her wonder just how far she could push him before he careened over the edge.

            “Or maybe not quite yet…” she murmured, sinking down to her knees now, eyeing up her challenge with sensual delight.

            The size of his cock was appropriate, given the size of the man himself. Broad-shouldered, well-muscled, tall, with large hands, he was built to please, and he did it well. Now Rey wanted nothing more than to topple this same man, to bring him crumbling to his knees like a beautiful ruin.

            The sensation of her mouth closing lightly around him made him utter a strained gasp. He shut his eyes tightly and allowed himself to focus only on how good it felt. He didn’t touch her, but rather kept his hands firmly upon his desk, his short nails pressing hard into his cuticles under the pressure he was applying. Every nerve ending in his body was hypersensitive, responding to the lightest of touches, such as the gentle tickle of her hair against his stomach or the casual tapping of her tongue. He became so entranced by it that his hand slipped over the desk, knocking a ceramic mug full of pens and pencils to the floor with a noisy clatter. Rey stopped instantly and peered around the side of the desk at the mug, which was now handle-less, and the mess of writing tools.

            “Shit,” Ben said breathlessly, admiring the chaos himself.

            “That’s fine, I was done anyway,” Rey said, standing up and mimicking him with a brush of the back of her hand against her smirking lips.

            “What? No…” Ben pleaded softly, reaching out to pull her into him.

            “Oh, no, I meant I was done _that_. _We’re_ not done yet.” She pressed a firm, deep kiss onto his mouth.

            Ben had no more time to waste. He stepped behind her, carefully bending her over the top of his desk, allowing the tips of his fingers to follow the soft bumps of her vertebrae through her dress with the gentlest of touches. She stretched contentedly in her new position, like a cat in a patch of sunlight.

            Entering her felt like coming home after a decade away. He sighed at her warm wetness and she too made a pleasant little noise, like music to his ears. Their union was gentle and slow at first, every thrust punctuated by a trembling breath or muffled moan. It felt as though the heavens themselves were tearing apart, creating a rift in time that they floated through in freefall. Down and down they went into the darkness, spiralling and tangling around one another until they were not two people but one person, one entity, barely aware of anything other than the two halves of its soul. When they finished the first time, neither were ready to separate. Rey hopped on top of his desk and faced him, pulling him in close. That time, they moved much faster, both racing to the end of the road with all the energy they had left. A picture frame atop his desk rattled and fell onto its back but went entirely unnoticed by them. They collapsed into one another and held each other tight, both struggling to keep their voices down as their climaxes tore through their bodies. Ben’s weight as he leaned on her caused Rey to fall back, bringing him down atop the desk with her. They stayed like that for a minute or two, simply catching their breath.

            When Ben stood up and allowed Rey to stand, he gently touched her cheek with his hand. Her eyes widened at this unexpected gesture and she stared at him in puzzled fascination, admiring the soft expression on his face. His eyes were trained on her lips and she fully expected him to kiss her, but he never did. Ben appeared to catch himself, then; he snapped his hand away and took two steps back so she could get off his desk. She opened her mouth to ask, but then thought better of it.

            They dressed in silence, although something unspoken stood between them now. It made each of them incredibly uneasy and no matter what, they refused to look it in the eye and acknowledge it. It was Truth, and it was frightening. It weighed on their silence like a stack of bricks and they felt the hollow echoes of it in their chests. It reminded them that things were changing, fast.

            Rey grabbed her purse off the floor and slung it over her shoulder, twisting the deadbolt of his door. She swallowed hard.

            “I’m…happy I ran into you tonight,” she said awkwardly. Her voice sounded too loud after the stretch of silence.

            “Yeah, same here,” Ben said distractedly. He wasn’t even looking at her, choosing instead to stare perplexedly at his bookshelves as though they were living people.

            “Um…I’m gonna take off. I hope you have a good night,” she said, twisting his doorknob in her hand.

            “Oh…okay,” Ben murmured.

            Rey frowned and looked back at him. His expression was clouded with confusion. There was something in the depths of his eyes that unnerved her. She released the doorknob.

            “Ben? Is everything okay?”

            He blinked and focused on her, but that expression didn’t falter. He shook his head slowly.

            “Yeah, everything’s fine, I just…um…” He scratched his chin. “I…I don’t think I want you to go. I mean, I don’t want you to leave…me.”

            Rey was stunned, and clearly so was he. Both were fully aware that this was not in the unwritten contract of their affair. Truth stood between them still but now they were looking straight at it. It made Rey’s heart race, but not in a good way. She could feel herself beginning to panic as the uncertainty of the situation overthrew her. Ben was still looking at her, pleading and confused, hoping she would have some kind of answer to their predicament, but she didn’t. All she could think about, all she could hear, were Catherine’s words repeating over and over in her head like a broken record:

            _You’re going to fall for a guy you can’t have…this can’t end well…_

            She shook her head, then, unable to ignore the growing swell of anxiety in her chest.

            “I can’t…” she said quietly, grabbing the doorknob and twisting it open. “I can’t stay. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

            With that, she was gone.

            Ben stared at his door after she left for a while, not really processing anything that had just happened. He snapped himself out of it as best he could and turned his gaze downwards, towards the broken mug, pens, and pencils still littered on the floor. With a sigh, he knelt down and began to pick them up, piece by piece.


	6. Oh, Blissful Torture

For one whole week, Rey expertly avoided any kind of conversation with Dr. Ben Solo. By Friday she had become quite good at slipping out of class unnoticed, hiding amongst the waves of her peers. Of course, she realized how silly it was, to be hiding from someone like she was in primary school again. But the thought of being alone with him, of being forced to talk about the _thing_ that had come between them, absolutely terrified her. She would keep evading Ben so long as she could keep evading that conversation, too. That was what she told herself, anyways.

          But come the following Monday, she was surprised to see a completely different person behind Ben’s desk in their classroom. This man was much shorter, with thinning red hair and an awful tweed suit. Hesitantly, she took her seat. Had something happened?

          The little man cleared his throat and the microphone squealed unpleasantly, making several students wince, Rey included.

          “Good morning, everyone,” he said. His voice was shaky. “I’m Dr. Franklin, I’ll be your substitute prof for this week while Dr. Solo is in the next city over at the convention.”

          Rey furrowed her brow. Convention? What convention? She racked her brain and vaguely remembered Ben saying something at the end of class on Friday, but she’d been too busy packing up her bag to catch all of it.

          Alright, so he was at an academic convention. Lots of professors went to those during the semester. No big deal, really. So why did she feel so disappointed at not getting to see him or listen to him talk all week? Why was she so upset at Mr. Whatever-His-Name-Is (she hadn’t actually caught his name and didn’t care to learn it) for simply being there and doing a job? She was supposed to be distancing herself from Ben; this should have been a wonderful respite for her, but it wasn’t. Throughout the entire lecture she found herself unable to adequately focus, too busy thinking about what Ben was doing, or if he had been thinking about her.

          When the class ended she hurried out of the room and across campus to her dorm. Once she was safe and alone, she pulled out her laptop and searched for clues. It didn’t take long before Google spat up the schedule for Ben’s convention. Her eyes widened when she saw he was giving two separate talks and moderating another. A photo of him stared back at her from her screen. He had that lopsided smile on, making the outer corners of his eyes crease in that way she found so attractive. Quickly, she shut her laptop and pushed it away from her.

          _He’s only a couple hours away,_ the voice in the back of her head whispered poisonously. _What harm could it do?_

“No.” she said aloud. “No, no, no. Don’t you dare.”

          But her eyes lingered on her computer nonetheless, the image of his smile burned into her brain. God, what was wrong with her? She did so well last week, and now…

          Well, it certainly hadn’t been easy trying to push Ben away. Her thoughts had constantly wandered to him. Was he thinking about her, too? Had he written and erased as many texts before sending them as she had? Did this feel as wrong and lonely to him as it did to her?

          The fact that he was running on a constant loop through her mind made her want to pull her hair out. It only confirmed to her that what they were doing was going too far and needed to end before someone got hurt. But she’d never been very good and ending relationships. She always ended up ghosting people and waiting for them to take the hint and back-off. But she knew that wasn’t going to work this time. _And why the hell not?!_ She had demanded of herself, even though she knew already. _Because this is different. He’s different._

          All day she had tried to stop thinking about Ben and about the stupid convention. She had cleaned her entire dorm, taken a long shower, tried to do homework, tried to write a few more paragraphs of her Masters, and more. But none of it did the trick. Come seven o’clock that evening she was quickly dialing Catherine’s number and listening to the buzz of the dial tone.

          “Yes?” Catherine answered.

          “Cat! I need you to come over, right now. Just you. I need…you. I’m going crazy.” Rey said hurriedly.

          “Whoa, alright. Give me ten minutes, I’m just in the library.”

          Rey paced her dorm room, waiting for her and beginning to regret calling her. It wasn’t like Cat was the biggest fan of Rey and Ben’s situation. What could Rey possibly say to Catherine that wouldn’t make things worse? But she had no one else to turn to, and she needed to talk about it with somebody. She just hoped it wouldn’t make Cat resent her.

          Rey pulled her friend into the room after only the second knock, making Cat give her a very strange look.

          “Are you being hunted by the FBI or something?” she asked. “Why are you being so sketchy?”

          “I’m not! I’m just…stressed,” Rey replied meekly.

          “I can see that. Why?”

          “Let’s sit down.”

          The two girls sat facing one another on Rey’s couch. Rey grabbed one of her throw pillows and hugged it to her body like it was a shield, struggling to find the words to say.

          “You’re starting to actually scare me now,” Cat remarked. Her light green eyes tore holes through Rey’s crumbling walls of protection.

          “It’s nothing _bad_ , really…” Rey said, trying and failing to ease her friend’s anxieties.

          “What did you do?” Cat asked suspiciously. “Does this involve that professor, by chance?”

          “…Yes.”

          “Oh for the love of Christ, Rey—!”

          “No! No, please, just listen,” Rey begged. “I need to get this off my chest. Please.”

          Cat crossed her arms over her chest. Her deep pink lips tightened into a plump frown. Rey still felt like she made a mistake. She had forgotten how difficult it was to confide in Catherine, whose honesty was sharper than a whip.

          “So…the last time I saw him was a couple weeks ago, at the alumni dinner. We…talked, and by the end of it, things were different.”

          “Different how?”

          “Different like…well, when I went to leave he told me he wished I would stay. But, he didn’t seem to understand why. Like he knew it was wrong, to want that. And it is wrong…right?”

          “Yes.”

          “Y-yes, so…I panicked, anyway, and left. And I avoided him like the plague all last week because I didn’t want to confront the truth of what had happened. But this week he’s away, and for some stupid reason I can’t stop thinking about him. What’s wrong with me, Cat?”

          Catherine opened her mouth to speak but decided against it. With a sigh, she uncrossed her arms and softened her expression.

          “I think you need to clarify some things for me, because right now I just don’t understand,” she requested. “First of all, are you telling me I was right?”

          Rey swallowed her pride and nodded stiffly. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t really know how I feel…it’s all very confusing, obviously. But as soon as I thought I was starting to feel things for him I backed away. Doesn’t that count for something?”

          “Love, if all you can do is think about him, I was right.” She tossed a bouncy lock of her curly ebony hair over her shoulder. “You can’t seem to deny that there isn’t something still there, and as long as it remains, it’ll continue to haunt you.”

Rey shuddered as her warning echoed in her head.

“Second, how does he seem about it? Obviously he’s struggling too.” Cat continued.

          “I don’t know. He seemed really confused the last we talked. Almost as confused as I was. Neither of us wanted it to go this way, Cat. I need you to understand that, at the very least. Sure, we should have stopped after the first encounter, but…I-I don’t know. I didn’t want to stop. Neither did he.”

          “Hmm,” Cat mused. “What is it…like, animalistic attraction? You two just can’t keep your paws off one another?”

          “That’s what it started as, maybe,” Rey shrugged, plucking at a loose thread on the pillow. “But now it feels like something more. Like…I don’t know.” _Like fate._

          “Well, I mean, what’s it like then? Gotta be pretty good to make you want more, am I wrong?”

          Rey blushed and refused to answer.

          “C’mon. Help me out a little here.” Cat held her hands in front of her, palms together. Slowly, she began to separate them. “Just tell me to stop when I’ve met the size requirement, okay? Just…tell me when…”

          “Cat, stop!” Rey pleaded.

          Her friend’s eyes widened at the considerable distance between her hands. “Oh my god, _really_?”

          “No! Please, I need help.”

          “Ugh, fine,” Cat smirked. “Bottom-line is, you can’t date this guy. He’s your professor. That’s just…not something that can happen, not while you’re his student.”

          “I know that.”

          “Good. If these feelings are scaring you and consuming you, then I think you have to put an end to things, don’t you?”

          Rey mumbled a weak ‘yes’.

          “That means you have to have a conversation you don’t want to have,” Cat suggested. “I get it, I do. It’s never fun. But you’re both adults; I think you can handle it. Just remember it’s only sex and it’s only ever been sex, and that’s all it will live on as in memory because you’re going to cut that rope before it hangs you.”

          Rey stared steadily at her friend for a moment without speaking. She had known that was the advice she was going to receive, but it still wasn’t what she had wanted to hear. But an idea flickered in the back of her mind, an idea of outrageously reckless proportions. Yes, she and Ben needed to have a very serious conversation. But where was Ben again? Ah yes, _only two hours away…_

          “You’re right,” Rey said with a resigned sigh. “Of course you’re right, you always are. I’m sorry to bother you with this, I just…it was making life difficult for me. And I don’t want you to think Ben is some sort of manipulative monster, either. He’s really not; he’s an extraordinarily nice, intelligent guy—”

          “It’s okay, you don’t have to defend him to me,” Cat chuckled, reaching out to squeeze Rey’s hand. “It’s a weird situation to be in, but it’s yours, not mine. I just hope the things I said didn’t completely put you off of, er, getting _regular maintenance_ , or anything.” She winked cheekily. “I just know you. I know you can’t help yourself when it comes to the whole emotions thing.”

          The two friends soon moved on to other topics, and Rey felt like she was simply floating in the pool of conversation; she was there, but only treading water. More focused on the thoughts inside her own head than the words being spoken to her outside of it, she finally found herself alone once more after two hours had passed. She tried to go to bed, but she was unsuccessful in falling asleep. The idea of going to see Ben at the convention ran through her mind and she found herself analyzing the pros and cons repetitively.

          _Pro: I could see him and we could talk, get everything out in the open. Con: He could not want to see me. He could be mad I came. Pro: Maybe we’d come up with a solution to all this mess… Con: Maybe we’d just fight and leave things worse off than they already are…_

After a night of tossing and turning and getting maybe five hours of sleep, she was up bright and early with a packed book-bag (just in case) slung over her shoulder, headed down to her car in the parking lot.

          “He’s only two hours away,” she told herself. “I’ll put on my confidence playlist and everything will be alright. I think. This isn’t stupid of me…just, a little bit reckless, is all. And that’s fine. Right?”

          The drive down the double-lane highway was surprisingly quick and painless. Two hours sped by like they were little more than thirty minutes altogether. By the time Rey found parking at the hotel-turned-convention centre, she was already having doubts about coming. _What am I going to do when I get in there? Wander around aimlessly, looking for him?_ She took a deep breath to calm herself whilst she still sat behind the wheel of her car. She came too far and talked herself into too deep of a hole to drive all the way back without even trying. She couldn’t give up now. This was going to happen and it was either going to go very well or very wrong, but either way she was not leaving this stupid city until she had some form of resolution.

She gazed up at the high-vaulted gold ceilings as she entered the convention centre. Of course, by not having a pre-paid pass, she was made to pay a ridiculous price for entry. But she made sure to grab a schedule brochure on her way past the booth, and her eyes scanned it quickly for any mention of Ben’s name.

She was in luck: he was going to be giving a talk on the significance of irony as societal and/or political commentary in myths like Euripides’ _Orestes_ in just under an hour in auditorium C. She dutifully made her way there, grabbing a free water bottle on her way. She picked a seat near the middle, where she could easily see the stage but she still blended in with the crowd around her. For some reason, she was nervous. Her leg wouldn’t stop shaking and she was finding it incredibly difficult not to chew on her nails and cuticles – a long-time habit she had been trying and failing to kick for about a decade now. So she scrunched her hands into fists atop her lap and tried to think of other things, like how many balding men there were all around her. Or how many conversations around her sounded like complete gibberish to her ears. Or how many people had actually come to listen to Ben talk about Greek myths for an hour and a half (a staggering number, even in Rey’s opinion). She began to wonder whether or not Ben was some sort of God in the Classics realm of academia or something. She decided she wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

Suddenly his talk was beginning. He walked across the stage looking entirely at ease in his environment. He looked clean and trim in a well-fitting business suit minus the jacket. The sleeves of his cotton shirt were rolled up to his elbows and he wasn’t wearing his glasses. Rey swallowed upon sight of him and unconsciously straightened her back. Everyone applauded politely around her and she joined in, albeit a little late to the welcome.

Watching him talk about a topic he so obviously revered was incredibly fascinating to Rey. Just like in his lectures on campus she found herself hanging on his every word, completely enraptured by the way he formed such elegant, insightful sentences. It had never been much of a mystery to Rey that smart men were her kryptonite (as a young girl she had fostered a severe affection for characters the likes of Sherlock Holmes), and Ben was no exception. Intelligent, funny, considerate, and… _oh, the sex. The amazing, incredible, passionate sex…_

Rey crossed her legs and tried to ignore the heat in her face. No, that’s not what she was here for. Or was it? Certainly, if it came to that, she wouldn’t say no. But she highly doubted it would be a possibility, not after she tells him why she had come in the first place.

After his talk ended, there was a half an hour left for questions. Members of the audience lined up and took turns speaking their questions into a microphone stand. Ben listened attentively to each and every one, doing his best to form the most constructive answers he could. Rey sunk into her seat a little bit. She didn’t like that a spotlight was being shone into the audience.  It had been easier to pay attention when everything had been dark but the stage.

By the time it was all over, a hoard of people had crowded around Ben, shaking his hand and congratulating him on “such a fascinating talk”. Rey patiently kept back, near the wall, and waited. The less people around, the better. This still stood a chance of going terribly wrong right from the start.

Finally the crowd had cleared enough that she felt comfortable getting a little closer. It didn’t take long for Ben’s eyes to land on the strange girl in the t-shirt and shorts who, to be perfectly honest, looked rather out-of-place amongst everyone else in formal wear. He had been mid-discussion with an older man when he saw her and he instantly excused himself from the conversation. He walked towards her hesitantly, as though unsure whether he was hallucinating or not. She gave him a shy smile.

“Rey? What…uh, what are you doing here?” he asked.

Rey’s brow creased. “I don’t know,” she answered meekly. “I just…wanted to see you, and talk to you.”

Ben ran a hand through his hair, looking handsomely perplexed.

“Well, uh, is everything okay? Did something happen?”

“No! Not really…not anything serious anyway. I don’t think.” Her heart was pounding inside her chest. _Oh my god, I’m already wasting his time. I can’t even talk like a normal human around him anymore! This was such a stupid mistake. Stupid, stupid…_

“How long have you been here?” Ben asked.

“I-I just got here, before your talk,” she answered. Her eyes kept darting around the room and she felt like every time they would land on something, it would be another pair of eyes staring back at her in suspicion. Who is this weird girl, she heard them ask. Why is she so flustered around that professor?

“You drove? By yourself? Just for this?” Ben asked, his eyebrows raising.

“Yeah…” Rey answered distractedly. “But I shouldn’t have come. This was a bad idea, honestly, it was. Someone could recognize me, and then…I should just go—”

Ben reached out and lightly grabbed her upper arm to stop her from turning away. Her eyes fell to his touch in astonishment. He had a gentle expression as he looked down at her. Their bodies were so close, closer than what was probably necessary or even appropriate.

“Rey, it’s okay. I can guarantee you no one from our class is here. There’s no one who will recognize you. We can do whatever we want.” He said calmly.

Rey let out a breath. “Whatever we want…” she repeated quietly. The thought certainly allowed her to relax some. Of course, he was right. She was only panicking without reason. She was so used to this kind of situation being treated as some forbidden secret, she had forgotten that that sort of ideology had borders in this case.

“Yes. So, why don’t we grab a drink? Or two, or three. And, um, we’ll talk. Sound good?”

Rey nodded. “Sure.”

As they headed towards the social room and the bar, Rey’s stress levels lowered considerably. Now she realized any eyes she happened to catch in passing were simply by chance. No one knew her here. No one had any reason to be suspicious of her and Ben. They could do whatever they wanted.

They got a small secluded table off to the side and Ben ordered them drinks.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Ben asked.

Rey took a sip of her wine and shook her head. “Let’s not get into that just yet,” she suggested. “I really enjoyed your talk today.”

Ben smiled. “Oh, really? Thanks. I hate giving talks at these things. I’m always afraid it shows.”

“Not at all. You were the picture of confidence up there, Dr. Solo.”

They talked at length about Ben’s presentation and conventions in general. They danced around other topics, but the entire time it felt as though their conversation was on a leash, attached to the weight of the discussion they actually needed to have. Three glasses later and Rey still wasn’t ready to breach the subject.

“So, listen. I know you were avoiding me last week, and I totally understand why. I freaked you out that night, in my office, didn’t I? Of course I did. You ran out of there looking like you’d just seen a ghost.” Ben’s fingers danced along the lip of his glass. “I should apologize for that. I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know what came over me.”

Rey swallowed nervously and finished off her glass of wine.

“You…don’t?” she asked awkwardly.

Ben pursed his lips together for an instant. “No. But it was weird for us both, and it kind of ruined the moment, so for that I am sorry.”

Rey cleared her throat. “It’s not because…maybe, you’re developing feelings for me, is it?”

Ben blinked and sat back. He suddenly grew very hard to read. His face was a clean slate, upon which was written a dead language that Rey could not understand.

“Feelings?” he asked loudly. “Feelings, no…I can’t have feelings for you, not like that. Unless…do you—ah, do you have feelings for me?”

 _Oh god,_ Rey thought, _it’s like I’m in secondary school again._

“If I did, we couldn’t do what we’ve been doing anymore,” she said slowly. “Do you agree?”

“I mean…I don’t really—is that what you came here to talk about?” He regarded her accusingly.

“Um, sort-of. Yes.”

“Oh.”

An awful moment of silence passed between them where neither of them could meet the other’s eyes.

Rey was about to open her mouth to apologize before promptly leaving, but Ben beat her to it.

“For the record,” he began firmly, “I don’t think I have feelings for you. And I don’t think you have feelings for me, either. How can we? We still don’t know all that much about one another. I think we’re just two people, who happen to enjoy the others’ company very much.”

Rey raised her eyebrows, somewhat impressed by his defensive response. “Is that so?” she asked, not entirely convinced all the same.

“Yes, it is. Or maybe I’m only saying that because I don’t want this to have to end,” he conceded. “But whatever. I don’t want this to end. Is that so bad? Is wanting you so bad? Because I do. I want you, rules be damned.”

His stare was winter fire, sending a chill across her heated flesh.

“Ben. Don’t you think that’s a little…reckless?” Rey asked.

“What part of this isn’t reckless?” Ben replied. “We had sex in my office less than two weeks ago.”

Rey’s cheeks burned. Her defence was failing fast. Everything he said was convincing her to stay, whether that was his intention or not.

“The semester is almost over, Rey. Then who knows what’ll happen? Either way, I won’t be your professor anymore. Maybe we talk about this then?”

“Then I will have come here for nothing,” she said blandly, staring at the tiny puddle of remaining wine in the bottom of her glass.

“I can make it worth your while if you stay,” Ben offered temptingly. “I have a room upstairs.”

“Then maybe we go up to it and have a few more drinks. And we talk some more.” Rey said, standing up from the table.

“Just talk?” Ben asked, following her lead.

“We’ll see,” Rey said coyly.

They were alone as they entered the elevator. Shortly after the doors had closed and it began to lift them up to the twelfth floor, Rey turned to Ben and brought her lips up to his and kissed him deeply. His hair was soft around her fingers and his hands were firm on her back. She wasn’t quite sure what drove her to do it. Maybe the release of all the stress that had built up to their meeting. When they parted she ran her thumb across her lips with a smile.

“I didn’t realize just how badly I wanted to do that,” she mused just as the door was beginning to open again.

“I’m so confused in the best way,” Ben said dreamily, leading Rey to his hotel room.

Once they were inside and Ben had made sure to slip the Do Not Disturb sign over the door handle, Rey pointed to the bed. “Please, sit down.”

“Oh-kay,” Ben agreed, planting himself atop the mattress.

Rey paced the room a couple times as she formulated her thoughts. When she was ready, she stopped and faced him.

“Truth is, I’m not sure if what I feel for you is pure lust or something more. But I know there’s something there. I’ve spent the last week thinking about you, and about us, and it was driving me insane. I thought coming here and confessing all of this to you would help me reach some kind of definitive decision, but it only made me want to be alone with you. The entire time I was listening to you present, I just kept thinking about your hands on my body and your voice in my ear. And maybe that’s the lust talking, you know? Maybe that’s all I crave from you, and that’s okay. But I can’t deny the fact that it might go deeper than that. I’m just too scared to investigate further right now. And I guess I just need to know that that’s okay, too. I need to hear it from you. Otherwise I won’t be able to stop second-guessing myself.”

Ben nodded. “That’s okay, as long as it’s okay with you that I’m in the same boat.”

“Yes,” Rey answered. “Okay. That’s good. That’s farther than I thought we’d get.”

“I just…I’m not ready to go there yet,” Ben offered quietly. “I’m too busy enjoying where we are right now. Maybe I’m selfish, but I don’t want to sacrifice it just yet.”

“If you’re selfish, then so am I. Catherine be damned…”

“Who?”

“Never mind,” she smiled sheepishly. “I’m not ready to stop yet, either. I thought I was, but…now that I’m here…I feel completely different.”

“Should I order us a bottle of champagne or something?”

“Yeah, I think I need another drink.”

The issue was certainly not tied-off, just loosely knotted. They both knew that, but neither of them wanted to pull on that particular string. For now, simply acknowledging that they may not be in the most stable of conditions emotions-wise was going to be good enough for them. The champagne, when it arrived, helped to ease the tension substantially. Before long they were laughing again and playfully touching, making flirtatious comments and gestures as if the last forty-five minutes had not just happened.

When the first bottle was drained, Ben asked if she would like a second one. Rey had been standing by the window as Ben sat on the bed, peering out behind the curtains at the traffic far below.

“Mm, not yet. I just spent all that time during your lecture thinking about you fucking me, and honestly, deciding to keep fucking you is making me want to do only that right now,” she purred, stepping closer to him on the bed. The champagne was going to her head, and she liked it. “Don’t you agree?”

“Yes,” Ben whispered, “I do.”

Rey’s hands meticulously undid his belt and slid it out of the loops on his pants.  She curled it in half and trailed it down Ben’s front, from his collarbone to his pelvis. She admired the soft leather of the belt for a moment until a wicked idea gleamed in her eyes.

“What if I bound your hands to the bed with this? Wouldn’t that be fun?” she asked teasingly.

“Only if you promise to let me go after,” Ben said with a crooked smile.

“We’ll see. I’ll have to think about it.”

She grinned sharply as she bade him to sit with his back against the headboard. Rey fastened the belt about Ben’s wrists and locked it into place around a post. Something in the simple act of doing that made her feel deliciously hot. She shed her shorts, underwear and shoes and climbed back on the bed to finish taking off his pants, as well as opening his button-up shirt.

“Have you been thinking about me?” she asked, admiring the length of his hardening cock with her fingertips.

“Yes,” he responded faithfully, “I have.”

“When you’re alone?”

“Sometimes.”

“What do you think about?” Her hand gently curled around him.

“About the way you say my name,” he answered in a moan. “About how smart and fucking…independent you are, and how much that turns me on.”

“Mhmm…what else?”

His wrists strained against his belt. He wanted so badly to touch her, to slip a hand between her legs and feel how wet and eager she was, but he couldn’t. _Oh, what blissful torture…_

“Nnn…about how good it feels to fuck you,” he growled, angling his hips upward, into her touch. He kept his eyes trained on her face, communicating his lust through his stare. “I think about it all the time. How hot and wet your pussy gets, that little mewling sound you make when I penetrate you…and the way you grip me when you come.”

“Mmm,” Rey sighed, dipping her head to run the tip of her tongue around the head of his cock in a slow, clockwise motion. She could hear the squeak of leather rubbing against the wood of the bedpost as he strained in the grasp of his belt. “What are you thinking about right now?”

“About how I want to fuck you right this second, and keep fucking you until our eyes roll back in our heads and we lose all sense of space and time. Until all that shit we were worried about doesn’t fucking matter anymore, because it’s just us.”

“Well then, I guess that belt is the only thing standing in the way of you doing what you want,” Rey observed, firmly teasing him with the up-and-down motions of her hand.

“ _Ahh_ …yes, kind-of,” he groaned.

“Oh, but you can’t take it off,”

“No?”

“No,” She straddled him, caressing him with her slick wetness. “I think it’s hot.”

“Christ…” Ben moaned, letting his head fall back against the wall.

Rey used her free hand to grab him just below his jaw, tilting his face back to her so she may kiss him. He was incredibly enthusiastic, continuing to pull against his restraints so that he could kiss her deeper. But she stopped him, and quite enjoyed the feeling of his eyes on her body as she pulled her shirt over her head. _We’re just two people who happen to enjoy the others’ company very much_. Ben’s words drifted through her head and she couldn’t help but smile to herself. His erection, along with the infatuated expression on his face said that he was enjoying it even more than that.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he announced, marvelling at her petite frame. She was small, but the muscle definition in her arms, stomach, and legs painted a picture of a girl who was not to be taken lightly. “I’m so happy you got drunk and came on to me in that bar.”

Rey chuckled, reaching a hand down between her legs. Her fingers circled around herself as Ben watched, entranced. It was so satisfying to her to watch this same man, who had been on a public stage not too long ago looking like the picture of professional young academia, do a complete three-sixty to become a cussing, dirty-talking man, who would grab her and spank her or treat her like an absolute goddess, if she would only ask him. _Maybe I will ask for both of those things,_ she thought to herself. _If I feel like taking that belt off him, of course._

She slipped over him slowly, allowing herself to adjust. Air rushed from Ben’s mouth as she welcomed him inside of her at such a tantalizing pace.

 _“Mmmm….”_ She sighed happily and her brow creased just a little as she sank all the way down.

With Ben trussed up to the bed, she set the pace the way she wanted it. She gyrated her hips in small circles, revelling in the sensation of him inside her. When she began to move, Ben had no choice but to watch her, and he didn’t really mind. She watched him, too, thrilled to see him looking so undone with his shirt tossed carelessly open and his hair all a mess. His eyes burnt holes right through her. She liked it best when he grit his teeth and his lips peeled back just a tiny bit, and he would shut his eyes tight, as if he was trying to regain control of himself. And every time he did this, she would slow down a touch, hesitating around the head of his cock, and then sinking down with ease, just to remind him that he wasn’t meant to have control over himself. She held the reigns and called the shots. She teased him, and she allowed him to fill her, delighting in the warm pressure.

“Is this what you think about?” she asked breathlessly, moving a little faster. “All day, alone in your office…”

Ben didn’t reply immediately, caught in a deep moan that clawed its way out of his throat. Rey cupped the back of his head with her hands, staring straight down at him.

“You think about fucking me like this?” she demanded.

“All the damn time,” he growled, capturing her mouth with his own, working his tongue against hers.

Rey broke away, moaning with careless abandon, not giving a damn who was listening. Ben’s teeth dragged along the side of her throat pleasurably and the sensation of it seemed to vibrate all the way through her, centring around their union.

“Oh, _god_ …I’m gonna come…” she panted.

“Come for me, Rey,” Ben urged desperately. “Go on, come for me…”

Rey fell against him, shuddering through her orgasm, emitting short sighs of pleasure by his ear. He was breathing hard into the curve of her shoulder, clinging on to the high of the release.

She pulled him out slowly and the remnants of their session began to drip down the inside of her leg.

“If you untie me I can clean you off,” Ben suggested, still trying to catch his breath.

Rey smirked and got off the bed, appraising him for a second. “Actually, if I untie you, there’s something else I’d like you to do to me with those hands.”

Ben’s eyebrows disappeared into the dark hairs that had fallen over his forehead. “I can do that, too.”

Rey chuckled as she left him tied to the bed in order to retrieve a towel from the bathroom.

“I’m sure you can,” she said to herself. “And I’m sure you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, another update so soon. I hope you like it! And I know parts of it might be kind of confusing or seem useless, but fear not! We will come back to some of the concepts in future chapters and explore them more then! Just enjoy the smut ;) Also I changed the rating on this fic because I decided "Mature" probably wasn't high enough for all the sex that's in this story lmao.


	7. Dream Sleep

In her dream, she was at work. She sat behind the marble-topped reception desk, and her eyes barely even registered what she was looking at on the computer screen. A gigantic stack of paperwork loomed at her from the corner, standing taller than her atop her desk. Thousands of documents, thousands of responsibilities, and thousands of confusing memos. She swore it got bigger by the second, too. But she kept on ignoring it, hoping it would eventually disappear on its own or topple into the garbage bin. She didn’t want to deal with it. Eventually her focus rolled over to the little ceramic kitten she had that sat beside her monitor. It was a calico cat inside a flower pot, covered in dirt, with a daisy on a spring overhanging it. She reached out and flicked the daisy so that it swung lazily back and forth. She felt that mindless ache that one often gets near the end of a very long day. Nothing made sense anymore and time barely crawled by. She was actually falling asleep _in her dream_ , she was so damn bored.

Suddenly, a voice.

“You look like you need to get out of here.”

Her head perked up off her palm where it had been resting. The voice belonged to Ben, who was smirking devilishly down at her from the other side of the desk.

“How did you know?” she asked.

“Come with me, now,” He offered her his hand and she took it. He pulled her over the desk with the kind of ease one can only imagine in dreams.

“Where are we going?”

He smiled as he tugged her along. The scenery around them waved and wobbled, like looking at the surface of a pond. The law firm faded away, replaced by walls that were at the same time familiar and unfamiliar. The two of them fall backwards onto a large, soft bed coated with a thick down comforter. It was like falling into a cloud.

Ben’s stare and crooked smile combined was enough to melt her heart. She was filled with a level of contentment and pure bliss that she had never experienced before.

“What is this place?” she asked dreamily, brushing his hair out of his face.

“It’s home,” he responded softly. “We’re home.”

Rey’s happiness bubbled up her throat in a giddy laugh. She leaned in to kiss him but he was no longer there. She was confused for only a second before she realized where he was. She arched her back and moaned softly while his tongue circled her clit. She looked down and met his dark eyes, clouded over with ferocious passion…

“Mmm…wha—Ben?”

The dream faded away as Rey blinked her eyes open to a hotel room cast in the soft golden light of the early morning. She couldn’t remember falling asleep, but it was evident from the imprinted blanket creases on her arms that it had been a good one. So what had roused her from a dead slumber?

Rey inhaled sharply as she came back into her world all at once. _No wonder my dream ended on such a weird note,_ she thought as she looked down at herself and saw Ben’s dark, tousled hair between her legs.

“Ben, what— _ahhh!_ ”

The sensation of his tongue against her overwhelmed her, causing her to cry out and instinctually knot her fingers in his hair. In response he tightened his hold on her hips and pulled her down the bed, closer to him. She was already wet from his touch, much to her surprise, and she couldn’t help but wonder just how long he’d been at it for. _Not too long,_ she answered herself. _But just long enough._ She could hear him breathing harder, spurred on by her response. To aid her along he first slipped one finger inside of her and then two, curling them in a “come hither” position, stroking her warm slick walls as they tightened around him. All the while he continued to work her with his tongue, delighting in the mere taste of her.

 _“Oh my god…”_ Rey breathed, furrowing her brow in concentration. “Don’t stop…”

He didn’t. He didn’t once stop until her fingernails were digging into his scalp, her moans had been reduced to gasps, and her body quivered against him. Once her trembling slowed, he crawled on top of her, supporting his weight with his elbows. She looked so beautiful after she came, like an angel just waking up from a pleasant nap. Her face was a healthy shade of pink, her hair was in a complete state of disarray and the sheets were tangled around her body, and he caught himself staring.

“Good morning,” he said.

“I suppose it is,” Rey responded with a breathy laugh. “What time is it, anyways?”

She turned her face over to better view the digital clock on Ben’s bedside table. The numbers that flashed back at her in vibrant red made her eyes widen in shock.

“ _6:40 A.M._? What the bloody hell are you doing awake, dressed, and horny at 6:40 in the morning?!”

Indeed, Ben was sporting a light t-shirt and shorts. He blinked at her innocently.

“What? Dr. Rosenthal invited me to join him on his morning run at 7. I figured it might be better than doing it by myself, which is typically what happens.”

“Ugh, running? This early? I’ll never understand you, Solo.”

“Good thing you don’t have to,” He winked and sat up so that he was kneeling over her. “As for the horny bit, well. You were laying there, all naked and breathtaking and what have you, and…I couldn’t exactly help myself. I hope that’s alright.”

Her eyes sparkled maliciously at the familiar bulge behind his thin shorts.

“Hold on a second,” she ordered, sitting up. Her hand grasped his crotch, only to find it quite hard. He stiffened slightly as she ran her fingers over it through the material. “Now we can’t have you going out with this.”

“It was bound to happen,” He shrugged and fixed her with a charming, cunning smile.  “Your arousal turns me on.”

Rey chuckled. “Well, we have time to take care of it before you leave.”

“Really?” Ben raised his eyebrows.

“Mmhm…”

“I like the sounds of that.”

Rey grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down with her as she reclined back onto the mattress.

“Then hurry up and fuck me, Professor.”

He chuckled warmly as they toppled over, unable to mask the silly grin on his face. She smiled back at him and it made him feel like he was melting from the inside-out. She was so bright and full of life; to touch her felt like sun fire.

“God, I’m…” His voice trailed off, knowing better than to finish that sentence. Part of him hoped she simply hadn’t heard it, but another part of him sincerely hoped she had.

The look of wonder and curiosity in Ben’s face made Rey’s heart skip a beat. Of course she had heard it, how could she not? Two words, not even a complete sentence, and yet it had been enough to send her mind jumping from one conclusion to the next. _What had he been about to say to me?_ She asked, panicked. _He’s what? Horny? Well, I guess so. He’s feeling things for me? Judging by his expression I’d say certainly. He’s falling in love? No. He doesn’t love me. He can’t. He knows he can’t have feelings for me. Just yesterday he told me that! Had he been lying then? Is he lying now? Is this all some sick, twisted game? Why is he doing this to me?_

Like every other time she had felt doubt, she hurried to forget about it through sex. Nothing was a better distraction from reality, and nothing pushed off the inevitable quite like sex. Her hands went to his shorts quite fervently, shimmying the elastic down as far as she could. He reached a hand down to help her. She held him in her warm palm and ushered him inside of her, her mouth falling open as he entered once more.

His thrusts were slow and gentle at the start. Despite that, though, it felt incredible. She felt each patient stroke deep within her, echoing up the bumps of her spine and making her head spin. He left soft, fleeting kisses along the side of her neck and over her shoulder, each one better than the last. Rey’s fingers ran down his back and she could feel his muscles moving beneath the skin, like firm twists of rope come to life. She gasped as he got deeper and deeper and she felt as though he was going to touch her very soul. Then it dawned on her.

This wasn’t fucking. This was making love, and she had never actually done that with anyone before.

They weren’t supposed to be making love. They weren’t _in_ love. Although, Rey supposed two people didn’t necessarily have to be in love for it to work, but there did need to be some serious emotions at play for the desired effect to be achieved. What emotions were those? _The same ones that told me to drive all the way here just to see him,_ she thought in the back of her mind. No, they weren’t supposed to be doing this. They were supposed to be fucking, with no emotions whatsoever besides mutual desire and lust.

She dug her nails into his shoulder blades. “Harder,” she begged in his ear. _Fuck me._

Ben slowed, barely concealing a sigh. He was scared, too, and for much the same reasons. But it had felt so good for the sex to mean something deeper, even just for that little while. Her rejection of his gentility wounded him only slightly, but at least he knew why she had rejected it. Regardless, he elected to do as he was told. He grunted and growled as he immediately changed pace, not even bothering to build up to it. He penetrated her with hard, quick thrusts, burying himself to the hilt each time. She cried out, raking her nails across his skin in rapture. It didn’t last long. Ben moaned as he came, resting his head on the pillow right next to hers, breathing hard in tandem with her.

They were both left reeling. As good as it had felt during, Rey couldn’t deny that she now felt strange, more confused than she had been before somehow. She could see that confusion reflected in Ben’s face. His eyes were distracted, even though they were trained on her. And his full lips seemed to be weighted down just slightly, not displaying their usual post-coital smirk of success. Things were weighing on his mind just as heavily as they were on hers, and she was willing to bet they were the same things in each case, replaying over and over and over.

But then she remembered her dream, and how being with him had made her feel. In her dream there hadn’t been any walls between them. Their emotions were pure and accepted, and because of that, she had felt more weightless than she ever had before. It was the kind of feeling a person could get easily addicted to. Like heroin, she wanted more; she wanted to feel that way all the time. As she stared into Ben’s face she saw the one person who may actually be able to give her that someday. If she threw away that chance, she’d never forgive herself. But it had just been a dream, hadn’t it? And one should never put too much faith in a dream. But still, there was something about it she just couldn’t in good conscience resist.

Before he could pull away and stand up, she grabbed him and pulled him back to her, kissing him deeply and affectionately. His shock was extremely temporary, and as soon as it wore off he wasted no time kissing her again. Their lips worked off one another slowly, brushing together with the warmest of touches. They lost track of time. It could have been two minutes or two hours and they would have had no idea. They simply laid there, holding one another close and sharing sweet, longing kisses – the kind that said more about how they felt for one another than their words ever could.

But soon they were interrupted by a rapt knocking on Ben’s door. They both jumped and shared a look of pure panic, neither daring to make a sound.

“Ben? You in there?”

Ben let out a breath. “Yeah, just give me a sec, I’ll be right out!”

“Is that…is that the _Dean_?” Rey hissed, wide-eyed.

Ben nodded. “Shh, it’s fine. Just…roll onto the floor before I open the door so he doesn’t see you.” His smirk made her want to pluck out a few of his chest hairs while they were still within reach.

“Jesus,” Rey huffed, shooing Ben off of her so she could wrap the soft white bedsheet around her naked body.

Just as she was about to crouch down behind the bed, Ben grabbed her arm. _He has that look on his face again,_ she thought. _I really wish he wouldn’t look at me like that…_

“I gotta go, and I know you’ll be gone by the time I get back, so…have a safe drive, and, um, thanks for coming out. Er—”

“I’ll see you in class on Monday.” Rey gave him a quick smile as she finished his ramblings for him. She jabbed a finger at the door. “Now for god’s sake, answer the door and get him out of here!”

Ben smiled as she crouched down on her hands and knees, hidden behind the tall queen-size bed. He didn’t want to leave; why would he? And to go running, of all things! He could get all the exercise he needed in a day if he just stayed. But he knew, in spite of himself, it wasn’t just the idea of sex that made him want to hang around. It was just her. He just wanted to spend time alone with her. Something so simple and harmless, yet it was a desire that was wreaking havoc on them both.

As he opened the door, Dr. Rosenthal smiled broadly at him. “Were you awake?” he asked as he continued to obscenely stretch his legs in the middle of the hallway. “Getting up is always the hardest part about these early morning runs, you know, but before long it starts to feel exhilarating! You’ll be waking up with more energy in no time!”

“Ah-ha, I’m looking forward to it.” Ben mentally groaned, shutting the door behind him.


	8. A Very Special Birthday

“Alright, I’ve got to see what we’re talking about here. Give me your laptop.”

Rey furrowed her brow at Catherine. For the last sixty minutes Catherine had been pestering Rey for information and dirty tales of her encounters with Professor Solo – which Rey reluctantly admitted had not ceased, but rather had continued for three months – despite her apparent opinion that he was “so, so wrong” for Rey. _She’s an enigma,_ Rey thought to herself. _And I think she likes it that way._

Still feeling apprehensive, she passed her laptop over to her friend, who typed in her search with lightning-quick fingers.

“Haven’t you seen him already?” Rey asked morosely. “At the bar?”

Catherine rolled her eyes. “I was half-tanked by that time and I didn’t really get a good look at him,” she explained. “Now shh, I’m digging.”

Now it was Rey’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Hmm, no Facebook profile, no apparent Twitter handle…no Instagram, either. What does this guy do with all of his time? _Read_?”

Rey opened her mouth to respond with “yeah, pretty much” but decided against it. Ben was a nerd, but it wasn’t up to her to help other people figure that out. All it would take would be meeting him just once to learn.

“Ah-ha! When all else fails, there’s always the mandatory personal staff profile on the university’s website,” Catherine grinned like the Cheshire Cat as she clicked around the webpage. After a moment, she clasped her hands together in success.

“There he is. Benjamin Solo, PhD,” She sang his name and title in a funny, out-of-tune song. She leaned closer to the screen for a better look. “My, my…alright, I’ve gotta concede it: you really outdid yourself this time, girl.”

Rey tilted her head. “How so?”

“Well, for instance, you know I personally prefer girls over boys, but that is one tall, dark, and handsome glass of water I wouldn’t mind plunging myself into, you know?” She smirked devilishly. “That hair, those eyes…and my god, those _hands_ —”

“Alright, alright. Do you hate him or do you want to bang him, because I’m getting mixed signals here.” Rey scoffed.

“Shh, I’m reading now,” Catherine announced dismissively. “Got his Masters at Stanford and his PhD in Oxford…currently teaching two courses in the Classics department, and—oh! What’d you get him for his birthday?”

Rey blinked. “His birthday? What do you mean?”

“Well…it says here his birthday is tomorrow,” Catherine turned the laptop around so Rey could see. “Did you not get him anything? I guess that makes sense, too. You don’t want to send the wrong signals—”

“That little rat bastard,” Rey cursed under her breath. It was true; the information on his profile page confirmed it without a doubt. His birthday was tomorrow, and she had had no idea.

“He didn’t even mention it…” She drifted on, thinking back to the last night they had spent together. It had been over the weekend; she had gone to see him on Saturday morning and didn’t leave until Sunday evening. They’d spent over twenty-four hours alone together and he hadn’t uttered a single word about his birthday.

“Maybe he’s one of those people who hates birthdays,” Catherine offered with a shrug.

“Well still, that’s something I might like to know.” Rey muttered defensively.

 _Bull. Who hates birthdays?_  Suddenly a devious little idea popped into her head. Even if he hated birthdays, she was going to make this one the best he’d had yet. She made it her mission without even thinking twice.

“Hey, Cat? I have a couple questions. First, are you mad at me for not ending my fling with Ben?”

Catherine sighed in contemplation before fixing Rey with a fond, firm stare.

“I’ll admit, my better instinct tells me it’s too big of a risk for you to be taking in so cavalier a manner. _However_ , you are an adult, and after listening to you open up and gush about him for the last hour, and now seeing with my own two eyes the majestic beefcake you speak of, I’m…beginning to change my mind.”

“So you’re okay with it?”

“I wouldn’t say that, but I’m warming up to it. I just don’t want to see you get your heart broken if this all backfires on you.”

“Well, I appreciate that.”

“What’s your second question?”

“Do you still have that slutty schoolgirl costume from Halloween last year?”

It took her a moment, but soon understanding flashed in Catherine’s feline eyes and she grinned.

“Oh, I absolutely do,” she replied.

“Mind if I borrow it for a night?”

“I would be offended if you didn’t.”

 

***

 

“Rey, I _really_ don’t think this is necessary—”

“Do you hate birthdays? Is that it? Are you one of those people?”

The corners of Ben’s eyes crinkled as his lips pulled up into a warm smile.

“No, I don’t hate birthdays,” he replied. “I just…started getting older and my own birthday started becoming less and less important to me. It’s just another day, really.”

“Yeah, another day where you turn thirty-one! Which only happens once in your lifetime, you know.”

“Yeah…bummer, huh?” Ben straightened a stack of papers atop his desk, looking at Rey over the tops of his glasses. “Still nothing to warrant you buying me dinner.”

“I disagree,” Rey argued proudly, sitting a little straighter in her chair. “And you have no choice, anyway. You didn’t tell me it was your birthday so now you’re stuck with my last-minute plans, whether you want them or not.”

He sighed in a joking sort of way. “Fine. When should I pick you up?”

Rey grinned, thoroughly pleased with her victory. “Six o’clock. Then you’ll leave the rest of the night to me.”

“If you say so.”

They went to a fancy Italian place downtown, with brick and wood interior and its own brand of wine. Ben wore a black and white plaid button-down with dark-wash jeans and Rey a slim-fitting navy blue dress with gold jewellery. They shared the breadsticks, and a bottle of that house wine (it was much better than they expected).

On the way back out to Ben’s car after the meal, the two of them shared a look. The best part of the night was approaching, and they both knew it.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Ben complimented. “But you have to know that already.”

“I do,” Rey grinned cheekily. “Guess what else I know.”

Ben opened the passenger side door of his car for her. “Hm, what?”

She leaned in closer to whisper in his ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

Ben coughed, so taken aback by her brash statement that he froze, his brain scrambling to make sure he heard what he thought he had heard. Rey, for her part, took her seat in his car as casually as if she had simply pointed out an interesting species of bird off in the distance, still grinning from ear-to-ear.

Back at Ben’s apartment, while he made drinks for them in the kitchen, Rey slipped away into his bedroom, taking her overnight bag with her. Stashed inside of that bag was Catherine’s Halloween costume, which consisted of a tight white cotton t-shirt, knee-high stockings, and a short, pleated plaid skirt. She had even packed a snappy little bralette with lace to wear underneath. It took her a few minutes to get it all on (the bralette was kind-of confusing at the start – needless to say she didn’t wear that kind of attire very often) and when that was done she pulled her hair up in a messy bun at the back of her head. She admired herself in the full-length mirror inside of his closet, trying to make sure she looked the part. It was hard to withhold her laughter. Not because she looked silly — quite the opposite, actually. But rather, she found herself wanting to laugh at the mere thought of what the look on Ben’s face was going to be when he saw her. A few different options scrolled through her mind’s eye: would he be surprised, like a deer caught in headlights? Would he be instantly turned on and not know what to do with himself? Would he laugh in that absurd, nervous way he does when he’s in uncomfortable situations? Or some combination of all these?

When she finally deemed herself ready, Ben had been waiting in the kitchen for almost ten minutes. He turned around at the sound of her coming footsteps and froze up completely for the second time that night. His eyes cascaded over her body slowly, from head to toe and back again. He was tempted to pinch himself.

“What…what are you doing…?” he choked.

Rey smiled as sweetly as possible, slowly sidling up closer to him.

“Happy birthday, Professor Solo,” she said, trying to make her voice a touch deeper for a sexier effect. She wasn’t sure it came off that way, but she was committed to it nonetheless. She gestured at herself. “I may have gotten you a present. It isn’t much, but I hope it might earn me a little extra credit?”

Ben opened his parched mouth to speak and no sound came out at first. He didn’t know what to think, or do. She had completely blindsided him in the best way possible, which had the effect of presenting him with something he never knew he wanted: stereotypical schoolgirl role-play.

“Oh my god,” Warm, shocked laughter bubbled from his lips. “Rey, no. Are you serious? This is…this is just…wow.”

“What? Don’t you like it?” She twirled around for him. “It’s okay if you don’t. You can always just take it off of me.”

“Oh, I like it,” Ben confirmed, taking her by the waist so he could inspect her outfit a little more closely. “But I’m still going to take it off of you. Mm, maybe not the socks, though. I like those the most.”

“That’s what I was hoping for,” Rey said, beaming at him.

“I can’t believe you did this,” he said wondrously, with a heartwarming smile plastered on his face. His brown eyes twinkled at her. “You’re nuts.”

“Totally,” Rey winked. “Now, what do you say? Will you boost my grade, Professor?”

Ben laughed into the hollow of her throat, tickling her with his warm breath and lips. She wiggled and smiled, undoing his belt with deft fingers at the same time.

“I can think of a couple things you could do to persuade me,” he responded. His hands wandered over her body.

“I’ll do anything you want, Sir,” Rey purred, tracing a line down the centre of his chest with a finger.

“Oh, really?” He grabbed her wrist and held it down at her side, pressing in closer to her until their bodies were flush and he was making her take backwards steps. “Anything?”

Rey nodded, sucking anxiously on her bottom lip, waiting to see what he would do first. He had that dark look of unpredictability to him, the kind she had first seen in the private bathroom at the Thirsty Scholar.

“This is what I want,” he said quietly, tilting her chin up so that he could kiss her. It was passionate but brief. Before too long he hoisted her up onto his kitchen island and coaxed her onto her back.

“I want you.” He said, casually flipping the hem of her skirt up to reveal that the statement she had made earlier about not wearing underwear still held true. He smirked with pleasure.

She was sweeter than wine on his tongue. Pleasant teasing quickly transformed into heated touches and grabbing – the “I need you right now, right this second, or I’m going to burst” kind of grabbing. He unbuttoned her shirt and left lingering kisses up her stomach and over the gentle slope of her small breasts. He pulled her bralette down, exposing her attentive nipples, each of which he grasped between his lips and stroked with the tip of his tongue.

Her fingers combed through his hair, occasionally gripping it by the roots. His hair was soft, almost as soft as his tongue between her legs. Every touch made her feel crazy in the best way and she began to wonder if this whole Professor/schoolgirl scenario she had schemed up wasn’t turning her on faster than it was turning him on. But when Ben stood up, having satisfied her quite well, slowly massaging an impressive erection with his hand, her worries were sated.

Ben picked her up and carried her to his room, where he kept a box of condoms by his bed. He tossed her onto the mattress and pounced, burying his face between her breasts. She chuckled.

“That tickles.”

Ben lifted his head. His eyes were dark and molten with desire. He didn’t reply but instead elected to flip her over onto her stomach in one quick gesture that made her squeal. His hands slipped underneath her waist and pulled her up onto her hands and knees. He suddenly grabbed her ass, squeezing it firmly. She wiggled it in lazy motions side-to-side, egging him on. He steadied her with a firm hand, using the other one to spank her once, after which he went back to squeezing. Rey exhaled a breath at the pleasurable, quick sting.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, his voice gravelly.

“Yes,” Rey answered dutifully, peering back at him.

“Say it,” he ordered. _“Say it.”_

“I want you to fuck me,” Rey pleaded, “right now.”

Ben growled and left her for a brief moment to grab protection. As he was opening the wrapper and putting it on, Rey watched, and she found herself unable to stop pestering him. She liked to rile him up before they played.

“Hurry up,” she whined, wiggling her hips again. “I want you to fuck me, Professor! Right now!”

“I promise I’m coming,” Ben grumbled in response, his lips ticking up into a small smirk.

“Not fast enough,” Rey continued. “You told me to say it and I did and now you’re making me wait. I want you to _fuck me_ —”

Ben leapt back on the bed, grinning roguishly now, and steadied her hips once more, pressing his stiffness into her backside.

“Oh, you’re gonna get it you little brat,” he purred.

“Then give it to me already!”

He pushed himself inside of her and she gasped, releasing a long, contented moan into the pillow she quickly sunk down onto. That sight alone was pleasurable enough, but Ben wasn’t done yet. He would have her biting that pillow before he considered his job done.

As the time ticked by, they each slowly lost the remnants of their clothes (as per Ben’s request, Rey’s socks stayed on). A thin layer of sweat shone on both of their bodies; fingers slipped down slick spines and grasped for purchase in ribcages that ached from lungs and hearts which pumped at rapidly increasing paces. Just over an hour later they sat side-by-side on Ben’s bed, trying to catch their breath and regulate their body temperatures. When they had achieved some semblance of normalcy, they turned on their sides to face one another, both leaning against the headboard and wearing broad grins.

“Happy birthday,” Rey murmured.

“Thank you,” Ben said. “It was a really good birthday, thanks to you.”

“Glad I could help. I figured you couldn’t resist supper and sex, so.”

“You were right.” A light seemed to turn on in Ben’s mind and he took to laughing.

“What? What’s so funny?” Rey asked, the picture of innocence.

“Nothing, it’s just…was this a date?” Ben asked, talking through his gales of laughter.

“What! No!” Rey argued, her eyes widening at the accusation. “Why would you say that?”

“I mean, you took me out for supper, I brought you home, you got lucky,” Ben explained. He burst out laughing once more. “You wined me, dined me, and sixty-nined me! This was a date and you scored!”

Rey gasped and covered her reddening face with her hands. “Oh my god…I never intended—! But, you’re kind-of right, though, huh?”

“If it’s any consolation, I had a fantastic night,” Ben said warmly.

“You did?” Rey hid her smile behind her knuckles.  
            “Yes, you know how to treat a guy,” Ben pushed her hand away from her face and planted a sweet kiss on her lips. “But you know, the night’s not over yet.”

Rey glanced at his alarm clock. There were still twenty minutes to midnight. Before she could say anything he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him, allowing his back to rest against his headboard. She smirked, resting lightly atop his hipbones. His hardness was very noticeable between her naked legs. She raised her eyebrows, peering down at him.

“Really now?” she purred.

Ben nodded, slipping a hand between their bodies to caress her and remind her of her own sudden wetness. He quirked an eyebrow at her in return.

“Really now?” he repeated teasingly.

“I guess it is still your birthday…” Rey murmured, rubbing herself along the length of him with the lightest of pressure. His mouth popped open just slightly in response.

“Mmhm…this is all I wished for,” he confessed in a dark whisper.

Rey’s lips cocked up into a crooked smile. “Well, I can’t say no to that.”

She gripped his shoulders for leverage as she sank down over him, making gentle noises at the sweet sensation. His own hands held her hips steady; they were warm, solid weights, comfortable against her skin. They kept their eyes locked, watching each other’s expressions change minutely at every shift in movement, every tiny reaction. Their breathing synched up for a moment and it felt as though their hearts were beating in tandem with one another, too. They moved slowly but every descent was deep and punctuated. Their fingers intertwined, each using the other for balance and support.

Rey had most of the control as she rode him, and she was fully aware of the incredible intimacy of the situation; it was impossible not to feel it with the way they were watching one another so intently, touching each other with the most delicate strokes of the hand. But this time, she didn’t beg him to fuck her harder. She didn’t ask for him to go deeper, or bite her, or spank her. She liked it just the way it was: soft and tender but needy; neither one wanting it to end too soon. She liked making love to him, and vice versa. She embraced it completely and was instantly swept up in its powerful current of emotion. It was as though she could physically feel the dynamic of their relationship irreversibly shifting behind the curtains, but she didn’t want to do anything to stop it. She welcomed it. The semester was almost over; there was just a couple of weeks left before finals. It was his birthday. But more than either of those things she wanted it for herself, because being with Ben made her happy, truly happy. She had tried to deny it for months, but she couldn’t go on doing that anymore, not now that her feelings were more defined and present. It was so incredible it was like she was having an out-of-body experience; watching them make love as if she were a fly on the wall. How could something that looked so beautiful be wrong? It was too scary to speak it aloud yet, but at least she could admit it to herself.

They came together, collapsing into one another in a crescendo of gentle moans and heavy breaths. It felt like the whole Earth gave a sudden lurch and halted. Then they were left holding one another in bed, cuddling closer beneath the sheets, adjusting to the high temperatures of each other’s skin. Ben slipped an arm around her and she cozied right up to his side, getting comfortable with her head resting against his chest. She could hear the gradually slowing, strong beat of his heart and it made her smile groggily.

She remembered the dream she had had, that night in Ben’s hotel room at the conference. She remembered how she had felt so weightless and calm. Now she experienced it for real, wrapped up in Ben’s arms as he slowly drifted off to sleep next to her. She felt warm and safe and incredibly relaxed. This wasn’t just sex anymore. This was something bigger, it had to be. Rey had never felt so happy and content in her life. She didn’t know how to react, so she just grew giddy. It bubbled up in the base of her gut and erupted like a volcano, threatening to overflow in gales of giggling laughter from her lips. She fought off the sudden urge to laugh and eventually shut her eyes, falling asleep with the biggest smile stuck on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for checking this story out! It's gotten a lot of attention in the last week lol. That's so awesome! I will warn you, it's coming to a close. My estimate right now is 2 or 3 more chapters. Just so you're prepared and the final chapter doesn't just sneak up on you...I hate it when that happens!  
> Enjoy this latest installment! Please let me know what you think! :)


	9. The Death Of Me

When it came the time to write Ben’s final exam, Rey was ready. She had studied for weeks leading up to the date. She actually found final exams not so intimidating now that she was no longer in her undergrad. As always, her unfailing ability to take in-depth, careful notes saved her life on more than one occasion. She stayed up late, re-reading the myths he had assigned throughout the term, even going so far as to find the whole story in cases where he had only provided excerpts. And by the end of it, she had a newfound appreciation for Greek myths and literary analysis. Neither were as easy as they seemed, but both were equally fulfilling to the creative mind.

            The room in which they wrote the final looked like it hadn’t been updated since the 1960s. The floors were a mottled white and grey, the walls a hideous off-white with horizontal mustard yellow strips above the baseboards. The class took their seats at long tables, in hard plastic chairs. It smelled of dust, with just a suggestion of mothballs. There was no clock on any of the walls, and the windows were shrouded in thick, pastel blue curtains. It was not, by any definition imaginable, a comfortable room to write an exam in. But when Ben walked in carrying a large stack of papers in one arm and a large coffee in the other, Rey released a sigh of relief. This might not be so bad, she told herself.

            It wasn’t so bad. Ben opened the curtains and a window so the lighting was bright and natural and everyone could hear the breeze pushing its way through the leaves of the trees outside, coupled with birdsong and the odd car driving down the road. Rey rested her cheek in her palm and watched him. He hadn’t put his contacts in, so he wore those dark-rimmed glasses she was fond of. His hair was a mess. Dark curls entangled one another in a fight to the death at the base of his neck. The lazier locks simply fell across his forehead and dangled just above his eyes; and how dare they do so? How dare he look so handsome, even though it was clear he hadn’t slept much the night before, and he hadn’t even bothered to button his shirt all the way to the collar? The very top of his chest was exposed, just beneath the hollow of his collarbone. Rey’s eyes lingered there for a while, until he began passing out the exam papers and he got to where she sat. Then, just for a moment, their eyes met. He gave her a brief smile as he dropped the exam face-down on the table before her. This was it. The last day they really had to pretend. The anticipation passed between them, unnoticed by anyone else.

            She finished the exam in two and a half hours, out of the three that were allotted. It had consisted of two essay questions and three short answers (out of a possible five options). She took extra time on her essays, remembering every bit of advice she had received from Ben on her assignments over the term and trying to employ them where she could. By the end of it she was proud of the work she had done. The only difficult part about the whole thing was trying to stay focused. Every so often Ben would get up from his desk at the head of the room and walk down the aisles, making sure no one needed any help. Every time he did this, Rey caught him looking at her, and vice versa. The tiny bit of eye contact would send her brain into a frenzy for just a moment before it cleared and she could think straight again.

            When she got to the front of the room to hand her exam over to him, their fingers touched underneath the papers. It was delicate; the feeling of the other’s skin so familiar now that it made them both feel oddly calm. Strange how even the simplest of touches can become so powerful between two people with a secret binding them.

            “Have a good summer,” Ben recited the same message he had said to each student who had left thus far.

            Rey caught herself, nearly letting the words “see you tonight” escape her lips. Even whispered, those words were dangerous.

            “Thanks, you too.”

            _That’s it. The class is over. Just like that._

            All the way home and for a considerable amount of time afterward, Rey pondered her new predicament. She wasn’t in Ben’s class anymore. No more listening to him give passionate lectures three days a week. No more watching his face light up when the class landed on a topic he really liked, or when a student asked a particular question that excited him. And, maybe, there would soon be no more seeing him at all.

            The last thing Rey wanted was for their relationship to end. She was having too much fun! And now that she wasn’t his student anymore, the possibilities seemed endless. She could see herself spending a lot more time with him. She wanted to see his face light up at her in those little private moments they shared. She wanted to listen to him talk about his favourite topics endlessly. She wanted to _be_ with him, as angry as it made her. She had slipped up and gone against her own promise. It felt like she had just woken up one day wanting only him, for as long as she could possibly have him. But then that posed a different problem: how did she begin to explain that to him in a way that wouldn’t terrify him?

            _This is so stupid,_ she lectured herself. _In what world would he want what I want? He said he doesn’t have feelings for me and I have to believe him. It’s not like he’s even thinking about this right now; he’s got exams to grade and more important things to focus on._

            That little voice in the back of her head couldn’t resist the bait. It spoke up, whispering its rebuttal in her ears: _But then why would he have asked you to come over tonight?_

            It was an intriguing thought. If he was really more worried about grading the final exams than he was about their situation, he wouldn’t have invited her to his apartment the night after the final. _Right?_ She nearly burnt herself pouring her tea, she was so immersed in her own thoughts. They swirled around her in a never-ending, tangled web, surrounding her in a cocoon of panic, confusion, and excitement that of course could be dismantled just by simply asking Ben what he thought about all this.

            A cold chill trickled down the back of Rey’s neck and she shivered. No, she couldn’t do that. Not now. The mere thought of getting up the courage to utter the words “what are we now?” to Ben’s face made her stomach twist into knots. It wasn’t like she could explain it in a simple, concise way, either, considering that this sort of thing kind of demands an explanation. For some reason she couldn’t see Ben taking it all that well if she faced him after sex and said “hey, I know we said we were only going to fuck one another, but somewhere along the line I guess I developed these really intense, kind-of burning feelings for you, and now I’m not sure where that leaves us, so I was hoping you might know.” Ben was typically a calm guy, but Rey thought that line might just push him over the edge of sanity into the great void beyond.

            _No, I can’t say anything. Not yet._ Her nerves, combined with her habit of dangerous overthinking, had gotten the best of her yet again, and she knew that. But still she tried her best to convince herself it was the right thing to do. _He’s technically still my professor until the final grades are posted. I still have time to figure this all out. At least a month._ She swallowed nervously. Ben was a quick grader.

            By the time eight o’clock rolled around, Rey was slipping her ankle boots on to start the short journey to Ben’s apartment. She had decided she wasn’t even going to bring up the topic of their status unless he did it first. She didn’t want to ruin a good thing while she still had ample time to enjoy it.

            When she got to Ben’s it was clear he had only just gotten home himself. He was still in the clothes he had worn to the exam, although his hair was a little messier than it had been before, as though he had run his fingers through it repeatedly since. As per usual, he greeted her with his crooked smile and a tight hug.

            “So? How do you think you did on the test today?” he asked after they had settled into the kitchen for their usual social beverages.

            “Uh…” Rey shrugged. “I’m cautiously optimistic.”

            “I’m sure you did great,” he reassured her. “You were finished with ample time to spare. That last half-hour sucked, by the way. I actually had to look around the room and at other people. It wasn’t even half as fascinating as you.”

            “Dr. Solo, were you staring?” she asked playfully.

            “Oh, yes. A lot.”

            “I thought I could feel a pair of eyes on me,” she admitted. “I was hoping they were yours.”

            “They were, and it was worth it. I got so lost in a daydream about you at one point that one of the other students actually had to clear their throat for me to notice they had their hand up.”

            “A daydream? Do tell.”

            “It wasn’t anything too special. I was just thinking about you and the way your body feels, and the way you taste, and how good it feels when you touch me. I watched you get lost in concentration on your test and it only made me want to watch you get so focused on something entirely different.”

            Rey snorted into her cup with a wry smile. “So naughty, Dr. Solo.”

            Ben shrugged in a comical sort of way. “It was more interesting than looking out at all the confused faces of your classmates, the majority of whom appeared to have not studied nearly as much as they should have.”

            “That can’t surprise you?”

            “No, not in the least. I realize it’s pretty boring stuff to a lot of people, and most of the kids who choose to take my class do so only because it seems like an easy elective. But the least I can do is try, right? I did my best and if they chose not to reciprocate that, then that’s on them.”

            “I’m sure some think like that. But if it’s any consolation, I didn’t find your class boring in the least. I’ll admit, when I signed up for it I thought it would be. And I did take it just because it looked good on a transcript. But now that it’s over I can confidently say it was worth it. I learned a lot from you, Ben – about Greek mythology, of course. And some other stuff, too.” She winked at him.

            Ben smiled shyly. “Thanks. That means a lot; that’s all a teacher can really ask for.”

            “You were an incredible teacher,” Rey complimented. She swallowed a nervous lump. “I hope…I hope I get to learn more from you.”

            “Of course,” Ben said eagerly. “If you need help with anything at all, let me know. Anything. Proof-reading your work, puzzling out a riddle, car trouble…anything.”

            “Car trouble? I didn’t know you were a mechanic,” Rey quipped.

            “I worked in a shop for six years to help pay for my schooling and stuff. I’m not very skilled, but I know enough to get me by. Does that surprise you?”

            Rey smiled broadly. She liked getting those little glimpses into his past; things she never knew before, coming together like individual puzzle pieces, adding just a little bit more to the whole picture of Ben Solo.

            “Somehow, no,” Rey answered, admiring his strong arms and solid chest with pleasure. “But I do have a request to make, should you ever have to come to my rescue in the event of car problems,”

            “What’s that?”

            “You have to wear one of those white tank tops with roughed-up jeans that have a dirty shop rag hanging out of the back pocket. And, at one point, I require you to wipe your forehead with the back of your hand so you leave a little streak of grease behind.”

            Ben gave her a funny look, not even trying to conceal his laughter.

            “Do you have a mechanic kink or are you just spouting out all the Hollywood mechanic stereotypes you can think of?” he asked.

            “A little bit of both maybe,” Rey replied.

            “I was gonna say, if it was the latter, that means you would have to be leaning against the car in a dress that barely covers your ass, wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and sky-high red stilettos.”

            “I think you would like that too much.”

            “Would I? Or would you?”

            “Shut up.”

            She reached across the island and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him forward until their lips firmly met. _Ah, salvation._ Worries dissipated, loud minds were silenced, and a cool blanket of perfect calm shrouded them both in its gentle folds. Breaking away for a moment, Rey easily climbed up onto the smooth granite countertop, swinging her legs over until she had one on either side of his body. His expressions betrayed all the signs of a man who was quickly melting.

            Rey slowly combed her fingers through his hair. She found herself wanting to know more about him, more than ever. The personal mysteries they had left unshared certainly made up a large portion of the wall that separated them; a wall which Rey desperately wanted to tear down. But where did she begin? She was never really one for confrontation, but if she could find a way to suggest it that he couldn’t say no to, it would be easier. That’s when the idea hit her. There was a place in that very apartment she had yet to see. Maybe if its mask slipped off, more would follow.

            “Will you show me your office tonight?” she asked seductively, toying with the collar of his shirt.

            Ben smirked. “It’s a mess,” he answered. Rey had been expecting that reply.

            “I don’t care,” Rey said. “If all goes to plan I’ll be too distracted to notice.”

            “You deserve a good distraction,” Ben admitted softly, pushing her hair to one side so he could kiss her neck. “What with final exams and your defense coming up…you must be wound up pretty tight.”

            “Mmhm, I am,” Rey purred. “Will you unwind me?”

            Kylo pulled her jumper over her head before swiftly ducking down to kiss his way back up her stomach, pausing to better appreciate her cleavage. Her skin was warm on his lips and she smelled like vanilla toffee.

            “I’d love to,” he whispered.

            She pulled once more on his collar, holding him flush to her. He gazed faithfully up at her from her chest.

            “Against your desk?” she requested.

            He grinned. “Absolutely.”

            In a last-minute decision, Rey ripped his shirt open. Buttons flew into every corner of the kitchen, rattling and rolling until coming to a stop. His cleaning lady would have a fun time searching for all of those, Rey thought idly. Ben didn’t say anything; he just stared straight at her and raised his eyebrows a touch, practically daring her to take it even further.

            “Wherever I want?” she asked again, using her fingernail to trace a firm line down the centre of his chest.

            He inhaled sharply at the sensation; it was not quite pain, but much more like a pleasant warmth with a sharp edge, like submerging oneself in bathwater that was almost _too_ hot.

            “And however,” he added.

            “Mm. You know what I like best about this little tryst of ours?” Her fingers just dipped past the surface of her drink as they scooped up a melting ice cube.

            “What?” Ben asked.

            “The sex is always so damn hot.” Her words were punctuated by the jarring cold of the ice cube dripping down his bare chest where her finger had just been.

            _“Ah,”_ Ben groaned, gripping the sides of her thighs.

            The melting water fell quickly down his stomach, some of it pooling in the dip of his navel while the rest of it balanced precariously on the waist of his jeans. The ice was so cold it burned, but he liked it. His guess was that it wasn’t so much the act itself as it was the girl committing the act that made him so inclined to it. His erection rose surprisingly fast in response to the devilish look of seduction Rey was casting his way. He liked that about her; she was able to bring him to his knees with only a look. No one else had ever been capable of that before. He had to constantly remind himself that she was a different breed.

            Rey brought the ice cube to her own lips now, sucking on it gently, twirling her tongue around its smooth, wet surface. Ben watched this with rabid fascination. There wasn’t much left to the ice cube to begin with, so she popped the remnants in her mouth and hopped off the kitchen island, swiftly sinking down to a crouch – the better to use her now frigid tongue to clean up the melted ice water which had pooled around Ben’s underbelly.

            He audibly gasped this time, somewhat surprised by her sudden ferocity. Of course, he didn’t mind one bit. He harboured a serious affection for the moments where she took control. Powerful women had always been his undoing, he had just never met one quite like her before. She could easily be more than just his undoing. She could be his utter ruin.

            She stood back up, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with her fingers.

            “Unzip your pants, will you?” she asked politely.

            He did as she asked, unbuttoning and pulling down on the zipper tab with relish. Her eyes followed his hands as they did so and she began to unconsciously bite her lower lip.

            “Is this better?” Ben inquired.

            “Much. Now, let’s go.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him along to his office door, which was still tightly closed. She reached out a hand to twist the knob but before she could grab hold of it Ben’s fingers had clamped down around her wrist, effectively stopping her. For a split second she was afraid he was going to tell her no; he’d changed his mind. Maybe he had something truly horrible waiting beyond that door. Maybe it wasn’t even an office at all. But then he spun her around to face him and he still had that confident smile on his freckled face, and she knew her worries were unfounded. Ben opened the door himself and as it swung inwards he kissed her hard, rushing her into the room without sparing her even a second to think about it.

It was like a scene in a movie. His desk was littered with unorganized papers and the usual office supplies, all of which he carelessly shunted off onto the floor in one sweep of his arm before hoisting her up on top of it. She just barely got a second to take in her surroundings. Every wall had a corresponding bookcase that was filled to capacity (he even had books stacked on the very tops of the bookcases, all the way to the ceiling sometimes). Picture frames hung askew, the paintings and photos they held dusty from lack of effort. A stuffed and mounted deer head loomed over them from behind his desk, for some reason. Rey could see the little black hairs on its white chin. It looked old.

Ben had a look of fiery determination on his face now; his brow creased in the middle and his eyes were darker than they’d ever been. He was nearly panting with anticipation as his fingers quickly unfastened her jeans. With one solid yank he had pulled them down over her ass. The desktop felt cold on her bare skin and her fingers gripped his shoulders for balance. She wasn’t completely sure what had gotten him so fired up so fast, but she wasn’t about to complain. She liked the look of desperation he wore; it told her he’d been wanting to do this all goddamn day and couldn’t possibly wait another second longer. Had it been her nails on his skin that had incited him so, or the ice cube? No, it had just been her. The way she commanded him so easily. It drove him mad, in the best way possible.

Rey helped him shimmy out of his underwear, instantly taking him in her hand. She stroked him softly, twisting her wrist up and down as she did so. He didn’t break eye contact with her as he returned the favour, gently probing and massaging her slick centre with his fingertips. She inhaled sharply, momentarily overcome by the sensation in her current state of hypersensitivity. She welcomed his fingers inside of her like it was a homecoming reunion; her mouth fell open and out poured a beautiful moan: distant birdsong on a warm afternoon.

“Is this what you wanted?” Ben asked huskily. “Huh?”

“Almost,” Rey grinned dreamily. “I want you…”

“Where?” Ben demanded. “Tell me.”

“I want you inside of me,” Rey clarified, “please.”

Ben’s lips quirked up in a brief but victorious smile. He removed his fingers and pushed her hand away from his hardened cock to replace it with his own. Rey’s eyes dropped to it eagerly before Ben caught her chin in his free hand.

“Look at me.” He ordered.

She did. There is nothing in the world quite like watching a partner’s face as they are overcome with passion and desire. The way their eyes cloud up for just a second as they become lost in the feeling of it; the minor twitch of the brow as it pinched together briefly in concentration. And then came the firm grip of hands on skin, grasping for purchase, for an anchor, lest they suddenly tumble off the face of the earth.

Their love was hard and fervent; they melted into one another without hesitation, like two droplets of water colliding on a downward slant. Teeth sunk into flesh and fingernails left long, red welts in their wake. They fucked one another like it was the last time they’d ever have the chance. That was one of the best parts about it. Every time there was a sense of incredible urgency that lingered between them, forcing them to move faster and squeeze tighter. If they stopped or let go they might die – that was what it felt like. It made their hearts race and their lungs constrict; pupils dilated and choked moans forced their way out of raw throats. Fingers applied careful pressure to the sides of those throats, just as hungry mouths locked onto one another in a futile battle.

When it was over they didn’t linger long. Ben picked her up and carried her to his bed, laying her against the pillows, which were a welcome relief to her sensitive skin. He climbed in after her, watching her closely.

“Will you stay?” he asked, as he did almost every time.

“Yes,” came her answer, as it did every time.


	10. Flight of the Hummingbird

Rey had never been this nervous before in her life, not for anything. Not when she was cast in school plays, not when she got her wisdom teeth out, not ever. She hated it. Her shirt, skirt, and pantyhose all felt incredibly restricting and uncomfortable. She could feel the makeup on her face, although she hadn’t even put that much on. The bun she had tied her hair in was too tight and she had to verbally tell herself not to touch it, lest the whole damned thing fall apart.

            She was presenting her Master’s thesis today. After months of hard, hard work, research, studies, sleepless nights, and buckets of tears, it was finally time. The reckoning was upon her, like a massive, dark storm cloud, so weighed down with rainwater that its damp skirts danced along the top of her head. She just kept looking at the clock and telling herself _in seven hours it will all be over … in six hours it will all be over … in five hours it will all be over and then you can get incredibly drunk and move on._ But counting down to it only served to make her more anxious, and pretty soon she had to tell herself not to do that, either. So she paced the halls of the old building, going over her thesis in her head. Occasionally she would poke her head in to the meeting room door and listen to one of her peers give their defense. She could never stay too long, though. She knew it was probably impolite, to keep ducking in and out like that, but she was too afraid to stay and listen to the committee ask their questions and try to poke holes in arguments. There were a couple times she seriously thought she was going to be sick.

            But all of this was only half of what was worrying her. The other half was a bit more self-inflicted, so to speak. A couple of nights ago, whilst lying awake in bed, she had made a decision and swore to herself that she would not ( _could not!_ ) go back on it. She had decided that during the after-party, she was going to talk to Ben. To be more specific, she was going to spill her heart out to him; just throw it up, all over his shoes, and see what he had to say about it. She might actually throw up, to speak the truth. It was absolutely terrifying. But she was going to do it, because it was time, and she had to know.

            She’d passed his class with flying colours. They had celebrated together, with the usual combo of drinks and sex. But even then, imbibed as they were by the alcohol and lust, neither of them had been brave enough to address their situation. So Rey had decided for the sake of them both.

            Besides, the after-party was being hosted at the Thirsty Scholar; the place where she and Ben met. It couldn’t be more perfect! The setting would speak for itself, surely!

            As it neared Rey’s turn at the podium, she found herself quarantined to the backstage area, where she continued to pace nonetheless. Thank god she’d had the foresight to clip her fingernails the night before, otherwise they’d be shredded nubs, the tragic victims of her grinding, gnawing, nervous teeth.

            She gave her defense in a perfectly poised, calm manner. She didn’t remember much of it, but that is what people told her afterwards. Indeed, the entire ordeal passed by and Rey felt like she was in a mysterious haze of sorts. Her body moved fluidly, her speech was not impaired in the slightest, and yet she had felt as though she had no control over herself. It was almost as though she had watched the whole ordeal from a bystander’s perspective, and come the end of it was suddenly snapped back into her body, where she then lost all memory of the last forty minutes. No one in the crowd looked particularly displeased, so that had to be a good sign, she told herself. Under the glare of the bright lights, she could see Ben’s face, seated near the back, his eyes trained proudly on her. She was very glad she hadn’t noticed him sooner; he would certainly have thrown her off.

            As she bustled offstage, she couldn’t help but hope that Ben _was_ proud of her. After all, he had spent the last three weeks helping her make final edits and proofreading every chapter. Of course, since it wasn’t his discipline, he had had questions, of which she had been only too happy to answer. And he had graciously allowed her to ramble on and on, giving him long, drawn-out explanations even though they weren’t absolutely necessary. And, despite all that, he had looked at her and soaked up every word she said like it was gospel. No one had made her feel so important before with just a look. It had been a great confidence-boost.

            Now that the worst of the day was over, Rey watched her peers hug one another and heave great sighs of relief. She knew she should be in that boat, too; so happy that it was done with, ready to move on to the next chapter of her life. And in a way she was all those things, but she was also still nervous. Those nerves only got worse as she crammed into the packed car that would carry her and some of the others off to the bar. Everyone was in good spirits; they all boasted a very specific kind of high that can only accompany a great scholarly achievement. Rey tried her best to match everyone else’s mood. She smiled and laughed and discussed the day’s events (even though she had been mentally absent for most of it). But inside she was screaming into the void.

            Never before in her life had she confronted a man about a possible romance. At least, not in so many words. She’d initiated breakups before and that sort of thing, but she had never been the one to formally ask a guy out. She was beginning to understand the stress of it now. It was no easy task.

            It was for this reason that she went straight to the bar to order a drink when she got inside the Thirsty Scholar. She requested a Long Island iced tea because it was the first thing that came to mind when she asked herself _what can I get that has a crap-load of alcohol in it but doesn’t taste like complete garbage?_ She swirled the straw around and took a long sip from it. The sweet beverage tickled her tongue and warmed her belly.

            It was another fifteen minutes (which she spent locked in a conversation that she was only partially listening to) before she felt a tap on her shoulder. When she turned around Ben was there, smiling handsomely at her. He was wearing plaid, a look she quite enjoyed on him. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest.

            “Hey! You did so well!” He embraced her in a brief, professional hug. “I’m proud of you. That was very impressive.”

            She could feel the heat sting her cheeks as she blushed.

            “Thanks,” she said with a lighthearted chuckle. “I’m glad you came today.”

            “Of course. I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.” He tilted his head back towards the bar. “I have to order a drink. Come with me? Looks like you need a refill anyway.”

            Indeed, her iced tea was just ice cubes now. So she gladly joined him and took a seat next to him on the barstools. Her eyes drifted over to the two seats in which they had sat on that first night over four months ago. She cleared her throat.

            Ben ordered a scotch on the rocks, which was of no surprise to Rey. But she realized she didn’t know why he drank it all the time. Desperate for a spacer, something to push back the inevitable, she gestured at his drink with a finger.

            “Is that your favourite?” she asked.

            “My favourite drink? Mm, I guess it is. I’m partial to beer, too, and whiskey, if I’m telling the truth. But I’m a much happier drunk when it’s scotch that’s to blame.” His lips quirked up a little in the corners.

            “Why is that?” Rey continued. “Was it your first drink or something?”

            Ben chuckled. “No. I just like the taste is all. Want to try?” He slid his glass over to her.

            She looked at it in astonishment for a second before her eyes darted quickly around the room. What if someone saw her take a drink from a professor’s cup? Wouldn’t that be weird? _Aw, who gives a shit? Semester’s over. My Master’s program is over. Fuck it. If we’re doing this tonight, we’re doing it strong. I think._

            She coughed as the alcohol burned its way down her throat. She was very thankful for the ice, which had cooled the drink enough to lessen its rough edges some. She glanced up at him through watery eyes to find him bearing that smug smile of his.

            “It’s…very strong,” she choked, “but not terrible.”

            Ben laughed and took a generous swig himself.

            “It’s better than that sugar water you’re drinking,” He nodded his chin at her glass. “What are you, a hummingbird?”

            Her heart was beating as if she were one.

            “You know there’s, like, five different kinds of alcohol in this ‘sugar water’, right?” Rey questioned with raised brows. “If I were a hummingbird, I’d be dead.”

            “Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Ben observed, reaching out to take her glass and slide it towards him. “I’ll have to take this, for your own good.” He lifted it and dared to take a sip from the straw.

            Rey’s mouth fell open and quickly transformed into a wide smile. She reached out to take it back but he leaned away from her, continuing to slowly drink from it.

            “Ben! Stop! Give it back,” she laughed, swiping at it. His free hand came out to stop her, grabbing her forearm and pushing it away.

            “No! It’s mine now.” He argued, his voice muffled by the straw.

            “It is not. You can sit and drink your old man drink! Give me back my sugar water!”

            “Old man drink?! I’ll have you know that scotch is a very popular drink amongst men in their early thirties.”

            She succeeded in getting her drink away from his lips, still laughing.

            “Oh yeah? Do you have a club or something?” she asked jokingly.

            “Yes, we do!”

            “Yeah? Do you meet monthly, or what’s the deal?”

            “Bi-weekly. We talk about how thirty isn’t old. Sorry you can’t join. You’re not a man and you’re not in your early thirties.”

            “Shut your pie-hole. I can be whatever I want to be.”

            They continued to bicker and flirt like this for quite some time. It felt incredibly care-free. They were open about it, with glancing, playful touches and nudges. Anyone who saw them may be suspicious of their intents, but then again, no one else really seemed to care. It was immensely relieving to realize how little people cared about the minor actions of others. Things that seemed so obvious and incriminating to Rey were of little consequence to those around her.

            The night went on and the two of them stayed joined at the hip. They became too embroiled in conversation to think about dancing, or even paying a visit to that fateful private bathroom in the back. It was still rather early, but Rey was feeling brave, thanks to the iced teas and wine. A gentle lull in their talking presented itself and the words escaped her lips before she could give herself a chance to back out.

            “Ben…can I ask you something?”

            “Mm!” He nodded as he swallowed his sip of beer. “Shoot.”

            Her mouth opened and closed in quick succession. Where were the words now that she’d damned herself to speak them? God, and he was just staring at her in that expectant way…waiting for her to speak. She took a heavy draught from her cup.

            “I’ve been…thinking lately,” she offered meekly, “about…us.”

            Ben’s eyebrows shot up just a touch.

            “Oh, sure,” he said, somewhat awkwardly.

            “I think…oh, god. Okay. Bear with me here, please.” She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Ben, I’m so happy to know you. These last few months have been somehow brighter, I think _because_ I know you. But they’ve also been weighed down by something…a problem that I took way too long to place, because it scared me. Terrified me, actually. Kept me up at night sometimes. Ben, I broke our rules.”

            He didn’t say anything. His face was suddenly very difficult to read. But he didn’t look angry or flighty, so Rey pressed on.

            “I like you. More than just as a sexual partner or colleague. I care about you and…the idea of moving on from you and leaving this part of my life behind me makes me feel kind of sick because of that. It’s like, I don’t know what I’m expected to do now, you know? I’m not your student anymore. But here we are anyway and…maybe I’m confused. But I don’t think I was ever really cut out for this kind of a relationship. I’m sorry. I thought I was. I tried really hard to convince you and also myself that I was. But I’m just not. I can’t be. So…”

            His lips parted. For a second it looked like he wanted to speak but no words came out. He just stared at her kind of helplessly, but his eyes pierced straight through to her core. It felt like time had come to a complete halt all around them and they were the only two things still in motion, still careening towards an unknown but eventual stop. It nearly stole the breath away from both of them.

            “So I guess,” Rey continued, “I just wanted to know if maybe you’d—”

            And just like that time started up again without missing a beat. Chaos. Confusion. Noise. And an interruption of the most deterring sort.

            Dr. Rosenthal had just encroached on the two of them with a pretty, tall blonde at his side. He looked excitedly at Ben, barely casting so much as a glance in Rey’s direction. Heat burned in her face and she turned away, pretending to be engrossed in her drink instead.

            “Ben! I’ve been looking for you. What are you drinking? Budweiser?” Before Ben could even respond, Rosenthal slapped his hand twice atop the bar, attracting the attention of the nearest bartender. “Another one for my friend, on me.”

            “Uh…thanks.” Ben said distractedly. His eyes kept darting back to Rey, but she was hiding her face from him now. He wanted nothing more than to shoo the pesky Dean away, but he could hardly do that without coming off as impolite, especially now that the man had bought him a beer.

            He cleared his throat. “You said you were looking for me?” He hoped diving straight to the source of Rosenthal’s intrusion would mean it would be over sooner.

            “Yes! Ben, this is my daughter, Jordan,” Rosenthal gestured to the pretty blonde.

            “Nice to meet you.” Ben was all courtesy as he shook her hand.

            Jordan nodded politely at Ben. Her sultry blue eyes gave him a quick up-and-down glance. He hardly noticed.

            “I’ve told you about Jordan, haven’t I? She graduated top of her class at Princeton and has her PhD in Art History. She’s quite a talented painter, and a classically-trained cellist.”

            “Right, um, I think you may have mentioned her once or twice,”

The truth was, Rosenthal hardly ever missed an opportunity to bring up his daughter, even when such an opportunity was incredibly small. Ben had quickly learned to drown it out. After a short while Jordan had begun to seem like the least interesting person on Earth to him, just based off her father’s incessant ramblings. And now that he had met her in the flesh he could say about as much of her as a person, too, but he supposed that may be rather harsh. After all, she hadn’t even spoken a word yet.

“Yes, well, as it turns out, there’s an art opening at the gallery downtown tomorrow and Jordan happens to have an extra ticket. When she asked who she could take, you were the first person who came to my mind! Of course, I _would_ go, but I have other engagements that can’t be cancelled. And I really think you two have a lot in common and will get along very well!” He said the last bit as though he held a great foresight which they did not; something secret that he could only hint at in hopes that they might guess it on their own.

“Oh.” Ben said quietly.

Rey wanted nothing more than to leave. She was screaming internally at herself to get off her chair and walk away but she found that her limbs were locked in place. She could feel her emotions swell inside her chest, crashing like waves within her, threatening to break the dams she had built. She wanted so badly to leave, or to simply become absorbed into the barstool, but she couldn’t. She needed to know what his answer would be. That would determine everything. _And if this has all been for nothing…oh, god, help me._

“What do you say?” Rosenthal prodded. “Jordan, any thoughts?”

Jordan chuckled and it sounded like fucking wind chimes in a soft summer breeze. _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, stop that!_ Rey thought, habitually jealous in the face of a woman who looked like she’d just stepped off the cover of a swimsuit magazine.

“I’d love it if you would accompany me,” Jordan said, her voice pouring out like sweet honey. “Dad has done nothing these past few days but speak of you and your insights into classical history and motifs. I’d love to pick your brain a little.”

“Yes, and I’ll admit I’ve certainly mentioned your bachelor status quite freely as well,” Rosenthal added smugly, as though he’d just done Ben a great favour.

“Oh, uh, that’s very kind…?”

Ben was very distracted. His thoughts were racing around his head so fast he could barely grab hold of just one. First, Rey’s words were weighing heavily on him, and he wanted very badly to continue that conversation but found himself unable to do so in the face of his boss and his boss’s daughter. Second, what the hell was he supposed to do?! He wondered if Rosenthal hadn’t purposefully set this up so that Ben would be in a compromised position and would have little to no real choice on his answer. He could say no, of course, but he knew Rosenthal enough to know that the proud old man would remember such a sin and carry its according grudge with him to the grave. And if he said no, he would most certainly be questioned on it, either immediately afterwards or another day, when the Dean could easily corner him at work. And then what? What if he slipped up and mentioned Rey? Rosenthal would be just the sort of guy to fire him on the spot if he found out about Ben’s illicit relationship, especially if he had chosen to deny the boss’s daughter a date all to continue pursuing a student. Or he would pester Ben and ask him if Jordan simply wasn’t good enough for him and that was why he had said no. Jordan was certainly pretty in a mainstream sort of way, but she didn’t hold a candle to Rey.

 _Oh, Rey_. His eyes fell to her again. She still had her face turned away from him but he could see she was gripping the edge of the bar tightly; her knuckles whitened with pressure. His heart broke and he thought he heard it snap. He wanted to do a million things but had no idea which was the right one. He wanted to kill Rosenthal, for one. He wanted to take Rey’s hand and comfort her, ignoring everything else. But Rosenthal and Jordan were staring at him expectantly, touches of concern beginning to darken the corners of their eyes.

“S-sure,” Ben finally said, his voice catching.

“Oh, excellent! You two will have so much fun. It starts at six o’clock, there will be cocktails…”

Rosenthal continued talking, but Rey could no longer hear the words he spoke. All she heard was Ben’s “sure”, echoing around in her head. And to think she had been in the middle of spilling her heart out to this man – about to ask him out on a date! She felt feverish, and like she might throw up any second. Stinging, hot tears were already welling in her eyes and she angrily scrubbed them away with the back of her hand. She could barely even make sense of the myriad of emotions that were overtaking her, and she was afraid of what might happen when they eventually succeeded. So, without a word, she left money atop the bar to pay for her tab, and then quietly slipped off her stool and made a b-line for the doors.

“Rey!” Ben called after her, quickly excusing himself from Dr. Rosenthal and his daughter. “Rey, wait!”

The tears were falling freely by the time she got outside. The evening air was chilled by a coming rain and she braced herself against it as it berated her, pulling the warm air from her lungs and replacing it with a damp cold. She sobbed once and told herself immediately to stop it. It was only then, when she was outside on the sidewalk, that she remembered she had carpooled to the bar. Angry, hurt, and now properly embarrassed, she began to try flagging down a taxi.

“Rey!”

She shuddered at the sound of his voice calling her name. She wanted nothing more than to leave and go home, where she could be alone with all her misery, and he was trying to keep her back.

“Rey, please don’t go,” Ben urged, having finally caught up to her. He reached a hand out to touch her shoulder. “I shouldn’t have said—”

“Don’t,” Rey said icily, shrugging out of his grasp. He looked hurt by this, and she lowered her tone. “Please don’t.”

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what to do and I…I panicked,” Ben explained quietly, his own turmoil showing plainly on his unique features. “But Rey, I need you to know, all those things you said—”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Rey interrupted, catching the bright glare of headlights and a cab sign headed in her direction. She stuck her hand out. “Not now, and probably not ever again. Just, forget I even said anything. I think I got all I needed to know from you tonight anyway.”

“But—”

The cab came to a grumbling stop beside them. Rey hastily opened the door and got in, casting him one final, agonizing look.

“Goodbye, Ben.”

“Rey! Please don’t close the door—”

She closed the door.

“No, wait!”

The cab began to drive away. Ben chased it halfway down the block before it took a quick turn and he lost it. The entire time he was chasing it he was calling out to her; some hopeful part of him seeming to think she’d be able to hear him. But the cab didn’t stop, and he was out of breath, standing in the middle of the street. An oncoming car honked at him and he stumbled out of the way, onto the sidewalk. He screamed out an expletive and walked reluctantly back towards the bar, where he dutifully paid his tab and then immediately left so he could go home and suffer in private.

Because Rey may think she knows what it means to hate him now, but no one hates Ben Solo quite like Ben Solo does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How 'bout that angst?? Anyone?? :D


	11. Downpour

Sitting in the bay window, Rey could feel the cold, dreary wetness of the rain deep within herself as she watched it come down in sheets outside. The bleak grey clouds that shrouded the city in a fine, silvery light reflected in her eyes. The sound of the rain on the rooftop above was a constant white noise that filled her head and provided the background music to her chaotic thoughts. She was too caught up in these thoughts to notice or even care that she had been sitting there, unmoving, for nearly an hour. She wasn’t hungry, even though she had yet to eat anything. She wasn’t even very tired, despite the fact that she had tossed and turned all night. She was just numb; floating astray in her own headspace, choking on her anxiety. She suffered in silence as her body defensively reverted into a state of dissociation, as it often did in times where she couldn’t quite process what had happened to her.

            Her eyes rolled over to the gutter, where water was gushing out in white jets, pooling on the lawn. She had an entire house to herself for the weekend and no desire to do anything besides sit and watch it storm.

            Last night, after she had gotten in the taxi, she had instantly burst into tears. She hadn’t cried quietly, either. No, she sobbed freely, sniffing and coughing through it all. The entire time the cab driver said nothing, but once Rey had caught him shooting her a look of concern in the rear-view mirror.

            The events that had transpired in such short order at the bar had thrown Rey for a loop. She hadn’t been expecting it in the least, so when it had happened she instantly reverted into herself and became consumed by her anxiety and embarrassment. After that, it was like she had tunnel vision and the only thing she wanted was to go home and be by herself. She didn’t want to cry in front of everybody at the bar, and she certainly didn’t want to cry in front of Ben.

            The worst part was, she didn’t even know if she was mad at him or not. Could she be? He had seemed just as taken aback by the whole thing as she had been, and the fact that he chased after her had to mean something, didn’t it? But his response to Jordan’s request had seriously wounded her, and because of that she took it as a personal offense on his part. That said, she couldn’t ignore the fact that Dr. Rosenthal was Ben’s boss, and it was still not the right time for him to confess to having a relationship with a recent student. But so what? If he cared about her at all he could have put _something_ on the line for her. She knew he cared for her; she had seen it in his eyes, right before they were interrupted.

            So, that was where she was at: flip-flopping from anger to remorse to pain and back again, stuck in an infernal loop. She had been stuck in it all day, despite her friend’s best efforts to lift her spirits.

            When she got home that night, after she’d had time to regather herself, she had called Cat. It was something of a habit for Rey, to get in contact with her closest friend in any and all times of distress, to receive advice that wasn’t sugar-coated. Sometimes a talk with Catherine made her feel a lot better. Other times, it made her feel worse. But all the same, it was a gamble she was typically willing to take.

            She had told Cat everything, as best as she could. Of course, to no one’s surprise, Cat had been furious at the start. She made threats and curses directed at Ben, using any expletive she could think of to describe his character and intelligence. Rey had sat and listened to her tirade for a little while until she couldn’t take it anymore, and then she had interrupted. Sometimes with Cat, things got derailed fast.

            “I shouldn’t be this hurt by it, really,” Rey had confessed. “We never made any promises to one another. I just wish I hadn’t said anything, than there wouldn’t have been anything to ruin, you know? If I’d just left it alone, maybe…”

            “Maybe you’d still be upset, because you’d still have to sit there and listen to him agree to take some skank to an art exhibition,” Cat snarled severely. “Things didn’t change just because you voiced your feelings, Rey. Things changed because you fell for a guy you can’t have, and everything got complicated.”

            Rey had been silent for a moment, plucking at the knee of her pantyhose. “Yeah…” she mumbled.

            “Admit it, then. Tell me how you feel for this guy, and be honest, because I’m very close to hunting him down myself.”

            “I don’t know, Cat—”

            “Rey, tell me.”

            “Fine,” she blurted out, “I think he’s great. He’s kind, and he’s funny, and he’s smart. He actually cares about the things I say and he’s gentle, and…and warm. I love spending time with him and when I’m not with him I think about when I’ll get to be with him again. I can see myself falling in love with him, Cat. It’s…utterly wild, because I didn’t quite expect it to happen, it just…did. He’s in my head and my dreams and I can’t scrub him out, no matter how hard I try to, but I don’t want to try to anymore. I just want him, Cat. But I can’t tell if he wants me.”

            After that, Cat’s tone had grown softer. She informed Rey that she needed to get out of her dorm room and away from campus for a few days. Lucky for her, Cat’s parents were out of town for the weekend and she had been meant to housesit for them. She gladly passed the job off to Rey, who was only too willing to accept an opportunity to escape her small apartment. A small part of her had actually thought a change of scenery, no matter how minor, might do her some good. When she first saw the house at 422 Fortuna Crescent with its peaked rooves and dark green edging, she had felt some tiny spark of hope. They had a nice fireplace set in an open main room, a newly-renovated kitchen and bathroom, and her choice of comfortable beds to sleep on.

            But now she simply sat by the window watching it rain. The fireplace was lit and crackling merrily behind its gate but its warmth did not seem to touch her. She hadn’t used the kitchen for much of anything. A shower had done nothing to improve her mood (it seemed like a terrible re-enactment compared to the rainstorm outside). And despite the comfort level of the beds, she had slept horribly.

            With a sigh, she finally moved her frozen limbs. Her legs and back protested to the movement and so she extended them slowly, bracing herself against the ache. She felt tired but did not want to sleep. Regardless, the throw blanket on the back of the plush leather couch looked very soft, and she thought it couldn’t hurt to just lay down for few minutes with the blanket tucked around her shoulders. So she did just that, and it wasn’t long before her eyes were slowly closing.

            It felt like she floated between consciousness and sleep for a very long time. She was fully aware she was lying down on the couch at Catherine’s parent’s house, but every now and again she would disappear into a daydream scenario and temporarily forget this. Eventually, though, she would give a little sigh and remember where she was. She was just starting to fall backwards into the black realm of unconsciousness when she heard something off in the distance.

            It was a knocking sound.

            _Oh, I’m dreaming,_ she told herself groggily. _That’s all…_

            But it came again. And again. Followed by an obnoxious ringing noise and more knocking. And then a voice, muffled and earnest.

            “Rey? Open up, Rey, please.”

            _Knock, knock, knock._

            She gasped loudly and sat up so fast that her vision blurred. This wasn’t a dream. There was someone at the door, calling her name. But how could that be? The only people who even knew she was there were Cat and her parents, and they weren’t supposed to be home until tomorrow night.

            Slowly and with extreme caution she tiptoed over to the door. Whoever was on the other side of it was still knocking, harder now. Begging to be let in.

            She was just on the other side of the door now. She could feel the reverberations of every knock underneath her feet. She didn’t know whether to open it or not; the thought of who or what might be on the other side had paralyzed her.

            “Rey! Are you in there?”

            Her heart lodged itself in her throat, just as all the colour drained from her face. She knew that voice, but how…?

            She opened the door slowly, peering out around the edge. Her eyes widened at the sight before her, and she swung the door all the way inwards but remained frozen in place, hardly able to comprehend what she was seeing. _I must still be dreaming…_

            Dressed in a sodden suit, Ben stood on the front step, dripping water everywhere. His hair was soaking wet and tangled, hanging in his eyes. He was breathing fast, as if he’d just run a great distance. One fully expected him to look sick or cold, but he was neither. When Rey’s eyes met his, she was shocked to find them bright and alive, trained solely on her.

            “Hi,” he said awkwardly.

            “Ben…? What are you doing here? How did you know…?”

            “It’s a long story, but I received an email this morning from your friend Catherine. I guess she got my address off the school’s website. She had some…harsh but enlightening words for me. She also provided me with this address and reminded me that I won’t get another chance like this.” He explained this all very quickly and with a raised voice, so that he may be heard over the loud drumming of the rain.

            Rey was stunned. After everything Cat had said over the phone the night before, this was not at all what Rey expected of her. _She called him every name in the book…what made her change her mind?_ She tried to mask her astonishment as best she could and failed miserably.

“Another chance for what?” Rey crossed her arms over her chest. The damp breeze cut straight through her jumper.

            Ben took a deep breath in, working his lips together decisively. Drops of rain slid down the length of his nose but it all went largely unnoticed by him.

            “Last night, you left before I could tell you how I feel,” he explained. “And for a minute there, I thought maybe I should just leave it. Maybe that was it for us. I’ve fucked up a lot before in my life and it has always cost me, I figured this was just another one of those times. So I got this stupid fucking suit on to go and be a nice guy at that stupid fucking art show, thinking I’d ruined everything with you. And then I read your friend’s email, and I realized that my fuck-ups have never cost me this much before.”

            Rey’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t speak.

            “I should never have agreed to go with Jordan,” Ben shook his head and fine droplets of water cascaded onto his shoulders. “The truth is, I panicked. I completely blanked in front of my boss and you, and the underlying threat of losing my job, and so I agreed. I shouldn’t have. I didn’t want to, Rey, I swear it. Christ, the opening’s already started, and I’m here, talking to you, but I don’t want to be anywhere else. You know I ran here? For no real reason. My place is only a few blocks away and I just…I don’t know. I didn’t even think twice about it; I just had to see you. I had to talk to you and tell you how I feel.”

            Rey swallowed a hard lump. Where was the numbness when she needed it?

            “And how do you feel?” she asked hesitantly.

            Ben’s eyes softened and for a second it looked like tears were glimmering in them, but Rey couldn’t tell if it was just the rain or not.

            “From the moment I met you, you captivated me. You were sharp as a knife and so brilliantly defiant. When I saw you in my class that first day I was shocked, but underneath that I was _thrilled_ , because it meant I would get to see you again. I tried to tell myself I couldn’t be around you but you know how well that worked out. I have no restraint when it comes to you, Rey, and I have never felt like this for anyone before.”

            Rey gasped softly. Her legs felt strangely numb.

            “I think about you all the time. I want to be with you _all the time_. The whole sneaking around thing was fun and all, but…at the end of the day when I’d end up alone in my bed with only the thought of you, it just wasn’t enough for me. And then the illicit romance thing started to feel more like a restraint than anything else.

            “But still, I should have been brave enough to say this to you sooner, because I’ve known this for a while. I tried to repress it; I even lied to you, at the hotel when you asked if I had feelings for you. But I can’t do it anymore, and I won’t.

            “You said you like me, but my feelings differ. I’m falling for you, Rey. So much faster than I thought possible. Seriously—” he held his index finger and thumb aloft, pinching them so that they were nearly touching “—I’m this fucking close to falling head over heels in crazy love with you. I know that’s probably scary to you; it’s scary to me. I’ve never…I mean, I’ve never let myself feel that way for another person. You just snuck up on me and took me by complete surprise. I’m sorry if you don’t feel the same way, but you needed to know. Before you close the door on me again, you needed to know.”

            Rey’s heart was hammering in her chest. There it was. Right in front of her eyes. The colossal, universal gift of fate she had always been expecting. Somehow, she hadn’t seen it coming.

            “Oh my god…” she breathed, her voice barely audible over the rain.

            “Can you say something…please?” Ben asked. He suddenly sounded like a scared child.

            But there was nothing left to say, not that Rey could find. No words were waiting on her tongue. So she turned to action instead.

            Without thinking twice about it, she crossed the threshold into his arms. The rain was cool on her body but his kiss was warm. He held her flush to his body, kissing her deeply, delighting in the sensation of her fingers in his tangled, wet hair. When they parted he stared into her entrancing eyes, momentarily at a loss for words. She wasn’t concerned in the least by the water that was quickly dripping down her face and soaking into her clothes.

            “Come inside,” she murmured, pulling him gently back into the house.

            He followed, still somewhat stunned. He closed the door behind him, now dripping all over the front mat. Rey slowly removed his soaked jacket, allowing it to fall heavily to the floor. She met his eyes with steady resolve as she loosened and removed his tie and unbuttoned his undershirt. She watched him melt into her touch; all the tension left his body with a sigh of relief. He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately before his own hands pulled her jumper over her head. The heat from the fireplace touched her skin, making her flush and replacing the cool dampness left by the rain. His fingers danced across her freckled shoulders and along her chest, cupping her eager breasts in his palms. With a soft sigh he leaned into her, relinquishing all his self-control to her; she could feel his hair tickling her forehead along with his warm breath.

            The intimacy of the moment stole any words that might be spoken from their throats. Neither of them could find that they had anything to say which could be considered important enough to interrupt what they were already saying with their bodies. They only paused when the majority of their clothes lay in a wet heap on the floor. Their eyes roamed the body of the other, as if to make absolutely sure it was real and not a dream.

            It was then that Ben picked her up and carried her over to the fireplace. It was deliciously warm there; their skin sang at the pleasing temperature change. He spied the throw blanket, still strewn across the couch cushions, and laid it out on the floor before carefully lowering Rey down onto it. He knelt down to meet her, eager to kiss her again and taste her lips on his. She seemed to glow in the flickering shadows cast by the fire, like the fire existed inside of her rather than in the hearth. Rey no longer felt cold; the hollow chill that had been inside her since last night dissipated in an instant, replaced by something much more alive and exciting.

            She pulled him closer to her, craving his skin on hers, a sensation she had felt so many times before but now it was different and somehow new. There were no barriers between them anymore; no more masks that they had to wear. He wasn’t her professor and she wasn’t his student. They were nothing if not their honest, true selves, expressing their very real feelings for one another. She felt free, almost intoxicated by the thrill of it. With nothing holding her back or weighing on her mind, she could enjoy every single touch with no convictions.

            He came to rest behind her as she knelt upon the blanket. His hands, still cool from the rain, slid up her belly with a firm touch, gently grasping her breasts as his mouth left kisses down the side of her throat. His fingertips brushed across her sensitive nipples, making her gasp softly. His chest was warm and solid on her back, supporting her as she leaned into him, becoming completely consumed by sensation.

            He dropped one hand then, skidding it back over her stomach before it slowed around the hem of her underwear. His fingers slipped past easily, sinking down further still until she could feel him against her, circling slowly with a cool, gentle touch. She made a soft whimpering sound and arched her back a bit, resting her head on his shoulder. His lips were by her ear as his fingers explored her wetness, and she could hear his breath hitch and grow louder. His heart thrummed against her shoulder blades, reminding her of how nervous he had been and perhaps how nervous he still was. But she wanted him to be comfortable; she spoke to him in her thoughts: _everything is okay now. Leave it in the past. Be here completely, with me, in the present._

            She stretched her arm back behind herself until she could feel his erection through his boxer-briefs. She palmed him slowly but firmly, massaging his growing length just as he penetrated her, pulling a moan from somewhere deep within her. She responded in haste, pulling downwards on the elastic of his underwear. He used his free hand to help her.

            Now they were skin-on-skin; eager hands trying to drive the other person to their breaking point. The game did not last long. Rey yelped in pleasure, trembling against his palm and losing her own grip on him. He carried her through her orgasm, drawing it out with careful thrusts of his fingers and leaving delicate kisses on her jaw, neck, and shoulder. When it was mostly over, Rey was breathing hard, a light sheen of sweat along the curve of her spine reflecting the orange burn of the fire. She reached back to tangle her fingers in his damp hair, holding him to her.

            “Ben…please,” she begged in a whisper, “I need you.”

            Ben tilted her jaw back to kiss her deeply. Pushing inside of her was easy and warm, but it felt like the world as he knew it was tearing open. He allowed himself to be consumed by it, gasping at its beauty. Rey moaned in that way she always did at the beginning, and she fell forward onto her hands and knees, angling her hips back into him. He set his pace: slow but deep, before he pulled her back up into a kneeling position, crossing his arms over her ribcage to hold her to him. His eyes drank in the sight of her as her head rested upon his shoulder, her face angled up towards the ceiling. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her mouth had fallen open. He adored the distracted arch of her eyebrows and the deep pink of her steady tongue. She was such a beautiful creature, the likes of which he had only read about in myths and tales. But she was no myth; she was real, and she was his.

            They moved in perfect unison with one another, their bodies working together like a well-oiled machine. At one point Rey’s eyes fluttered open to meet his, and they each lost themselves in the other’s gaze for a moment. The way Ben was looking at her made her melt on the inside from the sheer heat of his intensity. Then suddenly she saw something shift deep within those dark brown orbs, and he held her tighter as though she was the only thing keeping him from floating away. One hand slid down again to massage her clit in dizzying circles and her body gave a jolt at the sudden sensation. All the while he kept his pace, only speeding up when the end was near.

            Even Ben yelled out as they came, his moan sounding crisp and beautiful in Rey’s ear. Rey fell forward once more as her body shuddered and Ben fell with her, both of them throwing out a hand to steady themselves. Ben’s free hand was pressed to Rey’s lower stomach, anchoring himself to her as he poured every piece of his soul into her. They took a moment, breathing hard, their bodies slick with sweat.

            After coming down they rested on the blanket, each turned on their side so they could look at one another. Rey was using her fingers to comb through Ben’s hair as gently as she could. He admired her the entire time she did this without saying a word; he simply wore a small, dreamy smile on his face.

            “Are you still scared?” Rey asked after a little while.

            “Of what?”

            “Of falling in love with me.”

            “Mm,” Ben’s smile widened some. “No, I’m not. I can’t be scared of something that’s happening anyways.”

Rey blushed.

“Are you?” He stopped her working hand, holding it still against his cheek.

“No,” She smiled. “In fact, I think I’ve been waiting for this for a very long time.”

Ben dipped his head and kissed her softly.

“You forgive me then?” he asked.

“Of course. All of that is in the past, let’s just leave it there and be here, right now, naked on the floor of a house that doesn’t belong to either one of us.” She chuckled.

Ben shared in her humour and looked around for the first time since entering the house. It was an older-style, but it had been expertly redone.

“Do you happen to know if they’re thinking of selling it? Or if I could convince them to sell it…?” he asked airily.

“No…why?” Rey retorted with suspicion.

He grinned but would say no more of it, distracting her with more kisses instead.

They nearly fell asleep right there by the dying fire. Rey watched Ben’s eyes slowly drift closed; the only sign that he was still awake were his fingers, which continued to draw lazy circles on her back.

“Ben?” she whispered. His eyes blinked open.

“Mm?”

“Can you tell me if…I just need to know that this is real. I feel it, with every inch of me, but I need to hear it.” She raised sheepish eyes to meet his.

“It’s real, sweetheart,” he promised, touching a hand to her face. “It was meant to be, it just took us a while to get there is all.”

Rey smiled and nuzzled closer to him, soaking up his body heat. After a moment she made a thoughtful sound, accompanied by a pleasing little laugh.

“What’s that for?” Ben inquired.

“You ran to me in the pouring rain. I let you in, and we made love. Like a modern version of…what was that story called?”

Ben smiled. “Hero and Leander.”

“Yes, that’s the one.”

“I only hope it doesn’t end the same way,” Ben remarked, kissing the top of her head.

“It won’t,” Rey confirmed with a yawn. “As long as we stay away from tall towers and the Dardanelles, we’ll be fine.”

Ben chuckled into her hair. For a second there, in his sleepy state, the three words almost slipped past his lips. Not that it would have been a bad time to say them; he knew he meant it now whether he said them or not. But her eyes were already closed and after a little while he could feel her rest more heavily on him as sleep swiftly came for her. So he whispered it to her in her dreams and hoped she heard him, and that was enough for the time being. He picked her up and moved her to the couch, where he happily joined her in sleep. And in his dreams, he thought he heard a beautiful voice telling him she loved him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the support on this fic lately! You blew me away with all your comments on the last chapter - I hope this one allows you to forgive me for the heart-rendering angst some of you experienced.   
> If you like this story please share it and leave a comment, or link it elsewhere and give me a little review! If you post to Tumblr be sure to tag me ( @reylo-solo ) so I see it! :)


	12. Fire & Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Rian "Reylo" Johnson for his "the closest thing to a sex scene in star wars" comment thank you that is all

          Rey awoke to the late morning sun gilding everything in a bright, golden glow. The curtains had been left open, and the light reflected keenly off the white walls. She squinted, slowly adjusting to her surroundings. The last thing she could remember was being in Ben’s arms in the living room, but now it seemed she had been carefully moved to the master bedroom, where a certain someone had tucked her in. Off in the distance, she could hear him, talking in low tones to seemingly no one. Suddenly it clicked that he was on the phone. A sharp stab of dread lanced through her stomach like an icicle. Quickly she got out of bed, still naked, and followed his voice to the kitchen.

                He had his back to her, and he was indeed on the phone. His hair looked wet and he had a towel wrapped around his hips. She paused in the hallway and strained her ears to listen.

                “Yeah, again, I’m really sorry,” he murmured. “But thank you for understanding. Uh-huh. Right, yeah. Okay. You, too. Bye, Jordan.”

                Rey’s eyes widened. _Jordan?_ What could he be talking to her for? She had rather been expecting Jordan’s father, Dr. Rosenthal, to be tearing a chunk out of Ben after learning he had stood Jordan up last night.

                Ben turned around and caught sight of her, jumping a little in surprise.

                “Hey,” he whispered, “did I wake you?”

                She shook her head. “No. That was Jordan?”

                Ben’s eyes dropped to his phone and he sighed, setting it down on the counter behind him. He then raised his gaze to hers, holding steady.

                “Yep. She phoned just as I got out of the shower. I guess she got my number from her dad,”

                “What did she want?” Rey asked quietly, stepping into the kitchen. The air was cooler out there than it was in the bedroom, without the sun beating straight in. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the bumps of gooseflesh under her fingers.

                “She asked what happened last night,” Ben explained calmly. “She just wanted to know if everything was alright. And I told her I was sorry, and that I had an excuse, but it probably would do little to fix things. So she asked what my excuse was.”

                “What did you tell her?”

                “The truth: that I already had feelings for someone else,” Still, his stare remained unbroken, heating her from the inside out until her skin grew pink.

                “Oh,” Rey breathed, blinking rapidly.

                “And she asked if it had been ‘that girl who ran out rather unceremoniously’, and I said yes. She said she thought so.”

                Rey was standing so close to him now she could reach out and touch him without hardly having to bend her elbow, but she did no such thing. She simply admired his naked torso and his wet hair, looking like a tousle of raven feathers as it slowly dried and curled outwards in places.

                “So then she began apologizing for her father’s behaviour, to which I began apologizing for not saying something sooner so that we could have avoided this whole screw-around. We met at an impasse, anyway, and left it at that. She hasn’t told her father I was a no-show and doesn’t intend to. I guess she just wanted to make sure I had a half-decent reason before she decided my fate like that.”

                Rey arched her brows in astonishment. “Wow. That’s…very considerate,” she remarked.

                “It is,” Ben responded. He drank her in then; those darkened orbs leaving heat in their wake along her skin.

                “Are you cold?” he asked, his voice velvet soft, rumbling like thunder in the small space between them.

                Rey chewed on the inside of her lip with wanting teeth. Her nipples were stiff against her forearms and she straightened her back, squeezing herself a little tighter. Her body showed all the signs of being cold, but she felt none of it within. That familiar fire burned in her belly now, shooting sparks into her throat.

                “Not really,” she answered, stubborn to the core. “Are you?”

                “No. I only ask because you’re quite naked right now,”

                “Yeah. Why aren’t you?” Rey arched one eyebrow. Playfully, her fingers skirted along the fold of his towel, just barely brushing the skin there.

                Ben chuckled softly. “I pretty much am.”

                “If I can’t see it, it doesn’t count,” Rey argued, tugging indicatively on his towel.

                Ben nodded. “That’s probably a good philosophy to live by, yeah.” A smirk grew on his face.

                Rey burst into a fluster of giggles, to which Ben couldn’t help but join in. He pulled her close and kissed her messy hair. He found refuge in the landscape of her skin and allowed his hands to trace the curves of her shoulders and spine, and the gentle slope of her hips, mapping out every square inch of her body as it was right at that moment. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever felt so at home.

                “I still feel like I’m dreaming,” Rey confessed, speaking against the hard planes of Ben’s broad chest. “You know? Like…I feel as though there’s no way this can all be real. This is the sort of thing that only happens in movies, to women like Rachel McAdams or…that Bridget Jones lady.”

                Ben smiled fondly. “Do I not strike you as the type of guy who bears a fondness for grand, romantic gestures?”

                “I guess I never really thought about it,” Rey laughed. “I never expected it from you, anyway.”

                “Honestly, neither did I. Typically, when I know I’ve messed up with someone, I back way off. I _expect_ them to never want to see me or speak to me again, no matter how big or small the fuck-up was. So when I fucked up with you, I could feel myself needing to go that route; bad habits die hard, you know? But just the thought of staying away from you was fucking _killing me_. Christ. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I know it was just a short period of time but it felt like I’d somehow fallen into Purgatory and was serving a hundred-year sentence. Time got all fucked up. Then I got your friend’s email and suddenly I got jerked back into reality. Just like that the pain was gone and the world looked brighter somehow. And I knew this was my one chance to escape that hell I’d been in so I took it, and I ran here, to you.”

                Rey was peering up at him, beaming. For a moment, she was at a loss for words. She filled the space by kissing him, delighting in the sensation of his warm, full lips against hers.

                “I’m so glad you did,” she finally whispered.

                “Me, too. Are you hungry?”

                Rey shrugged. “Not particularly. I could do with some coffee, though.” She padded over to the Keurig and began to rifle through the assorted boxes of coffee.

                Ben watched her bare back for a moment or two, unable to stop the boyish grin that spread across his face. When he was finally able to tear his gaze away, he got himself a glass of ice water. He drank half of it and suddenly a mischievous idea popped into his head. With nimble fingers he extracted an ice cube from his glass and walked over to his prey, silent as a cat in the night.

                Rey gasped loudly as the ice cube made wet contact with her shoulder. She jumped, ready to smack whatever gross insect had seemingly just landed on her, before catching herself and realizing what was going on. Her heart continued to pound a little faster in her chest, jolted by the panic of the moment.

                “What are you doing…?” she asked.

                “You said you weren’t cold,” Ben responded, his voice a hot, deep rumble in her ear. “Maybe I’m looking to change that.”

                “Saying maybe implies that you may have…more diabolical intentions,” Rey murmured, leaning her head back and exposing her throat. Ben slowly drew the ice cube along the skin there, allowing its melted water to pool in the hollow of her collarbone.

                “It’s only diabolical if you don’t like it,” Ben responded, whispering to her now. The quickly-melting cube was now circling her left nipple, drawing closer and closer, leaving trails of wetness dripping down the curve of her breast. “And you’d tell me if you didn’t like it, right baby?”

                “Mm…mmhmm…” Rey purred, pushing her backside into him.

                She could feel his growing arousal press against her, hidden only by the cool, damp towel he wore. His lips quickly descended to her neck, planting kisses there that grew and blossomed inside her chest, twirling like a vine around her insides. The melted water from the ice cube was running freely down her stomach, pooling within her navel, dripping slowly down her thighs. By the time he slipped it past her hips it was mostly melted, and what remained of it he pressed between her legs, cupping her there with his palm. She sighed and shivered at the cool, firm contact.

                “Your coffee’s ready,” Ben stated, leaving her with one final kiss behind her ear.

                Rey blinked her eyes open as if she was waking up for the second time that morning. She turned to face him, disregarding the cup of coffee in question entirely.

                “You _are_ evil,” she said with a smirk, shaking her beautiful head.

                “Am I?” Ben quirked one dark eyebrow.

                “You’ve left me all wet,” Rey argued, gesturing at her naked body, where the paths of the water droplets still shone in the light from the window. “Are you not going to do anything about that?”

                Ben hooked his thumb in the fold of his towel, near his groin.

“You want a towel?” he asked.

“Yes, actually, I think I do.”

Rey crossed over to him and, in one swift gesture, pulled the towel off of his body, leaving him just as naked as her. She delighted in the look on his face; he was clearly astounded by her cocky behaviour, and all the more turned on because of it. She began to dab the towel along her skin, mopping up the mess.

“What’s the matter?” she asked coyly. “Are you cold?”

Ben’s face broke out in a wide grin and he shook his head, rushing her. “That’s it, you’re done for now.”

He scooped her up in arms with ease, nipping at her jawline and squeezing her ass with one hand.

“You call me evil? I’ll show you evil,” he growled.

“Oh, please do,” Rey purred.

He carried her back to the master bedroom and tossed her on the bed, quickly climbing in after her. She giggled, happily embracing him with her arms. She looked into his face and saw the glimmer of raw passion that grew there, awakening her own physical responses to its intensity. His breath was hot against her skin and his fingers gripped her tight, squeezing and grasping, leaving tiny, warm blossoming sensations in their wake. He bit her liberally, dragging the edges of his teeth along the most sensitive parts of her body. Attending to her breasts, he did just this to her nipples, pulling upwards on them carefully, holding them like precious cargo in his mouth, giving her a white-hot lance of pleasure and pain that shot through to her backbone. She gasped and arched her back up off the mattress, instinctively digging her fingernails into his shoulders.

He made her come three times before he even entered her, so by that time she was so wanton and breathless her satisfied moan was more of a whisper as it escaped her lips. It seemed when he said he would ‘show her evil’, he had meant it. The entire time he teased her, bringing her so close to the edge of infinity before suddenly slowing down and pushing her back, just a little bit. But eventually he found himself stuck in a position where he could no longer withhold his own desire, and then all the teasing disappeared, to be replaced with an intense drive to reach that pivotal climax; to feel the waves of unrestrained pleasure crash down upon him. He rode her hard, until her eyes squeezed shut and no sound came out of her beautiful mouth, and her legs gripped him so tight he couldn’t tell where his body ended and hers began.

After he had cleaned his mess off of her stomach for her, he curled himself around her atop the bed, kissing her gently, the polar opposite of the man he’d been just a few moments ago.

“So, listen,” he said softly, “I put our clothes in the wash this morning. They’re all dry and clean and everything, but…how would you feel about staying naked, right here, all day?”

“Hmm,” Rey sighed. “I feel like there’s nothing I’d rather do today.”

“Perfect.” Ben smiled at her.

The look he gave her made her feel more warm and loved than she had ever felt before in her life. Growing up in the foster care system, never wanting to grow too attached to any one person or place for fear of losing them, this was a welcome realization for her. She had always felt like she had never known what a real home felt like before. Well, she knew now.

She pushed him onto his back and straddled him, gazing down into those wide, puppy-dog eyes of his. She didn’t feel possessive of him, just then; rather, she felt protective and safe at the same time, not wanting this feeling to dissipate. He was hers now, and she was his, and she would live inside their own little bubble that they shared together, where nothing could hurt them, for as long as she could. He was her home, but she would worship him like he was a god.

“Now it’s my turn to be evil,” she remarked proudly.

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Is it? I’m terrified.”

“I don’t have any ice cubes, but…”

Her eyes locked on to a candle holder beside the bed that boasted three half-melted tall candles. Quickly she stretched over to the bedside table and rifled around in it for a moment before she found what she had been looking for: matches. She dangled a candle and the matchbook before him, grinning at the way his eyes got big.

“I’d say hot wax should do the trick, no?” In a careful series of movements, she lit the candle, watching as the wax quickly pooled in the small indentation around the burnt wick.

His response to this was quick and unmistakable against her backside.

“This is a whole other level of evil, you know.” he said.

Rey only smiled, victorious, before tilting the candle overtop of his stomach and letting the first few drops of wax fall near his navel. He inhaled sharply through his teeth, throwing his head back, allowing the air to escape his mouth in a low, gravelly moan. Every moan she could draw from him was deeply satisfying in its own right, stirring the melting pot of desire and need deep within her belly.

After the candle had melted down and fizzled out, and long after Rey’s undrunk cup of coffee had gone cold, the pair still remained naked in bed, worshipping at one another’s altars.


	13. Always

With the storm having passed overhead, the sun was shining a brilliant golden colour, refreshed as it was by the clouds. Rey splashed through shallow puddles as she walked up the driveway and around to the door that led to the small two-bedroom basement suite her friend called home.

            She had left Cat’s parents’ house earlier that morning after making sure the place was perfectly ready for their return home. Ben had returned to his own apartment for a shower, reluctant to leave Rey behind.

            “You’re coming by later, right?” he had asked.

            “Of course,” Rey had answered faithfully. “What are you cooking me for dinner?”

            Ben had insisted it would be a surprise that she would just have to find out about when she got there. Rey took that to mean he had no idea what he was going to cook, and he needed time to come up with something. But she had simply smiled and gone along with it, because she had been in his arms, and nothing could bother her there.

            She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket after knocking on the door. The air was still crisp and cool after the heavy rain and it raised goosebumps along her skin. She wasn’t waiting out in it for long before the door opened.

            “Rey? What are you doing here?” Cat asked, staring perplexedly at Rey.

            “I just wanted to talk,” Rey explained. “Can I come in?”

            Cat stood aside to allow her entry and closed the door behind her. As Rey removed her wet footwear and her jacket, Cat leaned casually against the wall and folded her arms over her chest.

            “Everything go alright with my parents’ house?”

            “Oh yeah, no problems at all,”

            “Good, good. And uh, how goes it with the professor?”

            Rey smiled secretively to herself.

            “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she mocked.

            Cat huffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

            Rey took a seat on Catherine’s old sofa, tucking her feet underneath her. Her friend followed suit, watching Rey with a mostly bemused expression on her face.

            “Your little email trick saved the day,” Rey explained happily. “What changed your mind?”

            Cat shrugged unabashedly. “Honestly, the way you talked about him when I asked how you felt. You sounded…well, like you were in love, and I just didn’t want a chance like that to slip past you, all because some stupid guy lost his nerve.”

            Rey smiled broadly and reached across the couch to hug her friend close. All throughout her adolescence she had wished for a friend, a _really good_ friend, who would do nothing but support her and be what a real friend should be. A friend who would be there. She had found that in Cat, and she would be forever grateful.

            “Thank you,” Rey murmured. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

            “Yeah I don’t know what you’d do without me either,” Cat winked. “So? Are you two an item now, officially? Surely you’re not still playing the same game…right?”

            “No we’re certainly not playing the same game,” Rey blushed, unsure how to answer her question in terms of specifics. “I’m happy, and so is he.”

            “Good,” Cat smiled and her eyes twinkled. “So, how’d he do it? Did he show you my email? You guys didn’t bang on my parents’ bed, did you?”

            “God, no!” It was a lie. They had. More than once.

            “I hope not. Now give me details, please!”

            “Well…”

            Recollections of the night prior ran through Rey’s mind, making her blush anew. How could she even begin to sum up something that she had never expected to happen to her in the first place? Something that felt to her so cosmically aligned could not simply be summed up in just a few words, but she also had no clue how to explain it in a way that would allow any outsider to properly appreciate it.

            “At least tell me this: was it like a John Hughes movie? Because that’s what I was kind-of picturing when I sent that email.” The corners of Cat’s mouth pulled up in a smile.

            “Oh yes, it was very John Hughes-ian,” Rey nodded vigorously, happily clinging on to this apt description in all its simplicity. “And maybe even a little Nicholas Sparks-y too.”

            Cat clicked her tongue and tilted her head to the side as though she was watching an adorable fat puppy fall asleep.

            “That is all I’ve ever wanted for you,” she choked. Hopeful visions of her best friend in wedding attire tore through her head, eliciting an emotional response that she bit back with a heartwarming smile on her face. “But I swear, if this boy fucks up one more time, I will lock his balls in a vice.”

            Rey merely laughed and promised to relay the message to Ben for her.

 

**

            Ben smiled that charming, crooked smile of his as he opened the door to his apartment to greet her. The smell of roasting meat wafted lazily out into the hallway. He wore a black t-shirt and dark-wash jeans, both of which were spotted with dusty white splotches, some in the shape of large, smeared handprints. Immediately Rey’s smile turned to a puzzled frown and she raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

            “What is all over you?” she asked, gesturing vaguely at him.

            Ben looked down at himself and shrugged. He looked rather pleased.

            “Flour,” he answered promptly. “It’s messy stuff.”

            “Right, and why were you playing in flour?”

            “I was…why don’t you just come inside?”

            Rey crossed the threshold and was instantly enveloped in a concoction of delicious smells that made her mouth water. She shrugged off her jacket and slipped off her shoes and walked into a kitchen that was in a state of complete and utter chaos.

            Spice bottles stood open and out of the rack over the counter, the sink was piled high with bowls and utensils, and the kitchen island was covered in a fine layer of flour, complete with messy baking tools.

            “Whoa…what happened in here?” she asked, mystified.

            “I tried to cook,” Ben answered sheepishly. “This is what happens when I cook. I make a fucking mess.”

            “I’d say,” Rey agreed. “What do you mean you ‘tried’ to cook?”

            She side-eyed the garbage can for any sign of burnt food but found none.

            “Well, we won’t know until it’s out of the oven if I succeeded or not,”

            “What did you make?”

            “Roasted chicken with potatoes, carrots, and onions. And for dessert I tried to make those monster chocolate chip cookies because I know you really like them. Hence the flour everywhere.”

            “Aw,” Rey murmured, touched by the mere fact that he attempted to make something she liked. “Let me help you clean up.”

            “I wasn’t gonna ask, but I’m so glad you offered,” Ben beamed at her and kissed her briefly before they tackled his disaster.

            Once the mess had been tended to, Rey hopped up atop the kitchen island and crossed her legs. Her stomach rumbled its consternation at the fact that they weren’t eating yet.

            “When’s it going to be ready?” she asked, trying to mask her hunger in her voice.

            “Soon,” Ben replied, tossing a quick look at the timer. “Are you getting antsy?”

            “A bit,” Rey smirked.

            “Well maybe you need a good distraction then.”

            “Maybe I do. What do you propose?”

            Ben’s eyes, the deep, rich colour of caramel whisky, traversed the curves and planes of her body, admiring the short black dress with the plunging neckline and the thigh-high stockings she wore. She had dressed to please him specifically and it made him wild. His heart thrummed merrily against his ribcage, making him feel like his entire body was vibrating. He approached her like she was a work of art and he was a content admirer. His hands caressed the patch of skin left showing on her thigh, fingers toying with the hem of her skirt.

            “I’ve got a few ideas,” he mused, enjoying the soft pink colouration in her cheeks.

            “I’m sure you do.”

            With ease he dropped down to a crouching position, placing a kiss upon her knee. Her eyes followed him, the corners of her lips pulled up in a small, curious smile. Her fingers stroked his hair delicately as he kissed his way up the inside of her thigh.

            The warm feeling of his lips on her skin in such a sensitive place sent waves of giddy pleasure pulsing up her spine. She caught her lower lip between her teeth. She wanted him to go further and further, to never stop, but then a mischievous thought occurred to her. Sure, the release of passion right then and there would be great, but wouldn’t it be better if it was drawn out considerably? What if she teased him until he broke and couldn’t take it any longer? Would he become a different man; a _new_ man, one completely consumed by his primal instinct? A lick of fiery excitement uncoiled deep inside her. She was so very curious…

            He could feel her slowly moving her legs apart, granting him more access, inch by tempting inch. His head was beginning to swim at the mere thought of it, of kissing here just _there_ , and how she would react. Her arched back, that soft, pleased little moan, the way her fingers gripped his hair just a little bit tighter… _Fuck, I need to taste her…_

He was so close, so lost in the feel of her skin, but then she stopped him. Clamping her legs closed, she placed her fingertips on the underside of his jaw to tilt his gaze up to her.

            “Now, now,” she purred with a smile on her angelic face, “you’ll spoil your dinner.”

            He squinted at her suspiciously. Those earthy eyes of hers displayed nothing but mischief and he, of course, could see right through her. He was about to protest, but she was shutting him out and hopping off the counter before he could think of any words to say, so he left it alone. But his fingers twitched at his sides as they longed to touch her again; the fire in his gut burned brighter and hotter as he watched her walk away from him.

            She bent at the hips to inspect his timer.

            “Ah! And just in time, too.”

            A few seconds later, it rang loudly, filling the apartment with a noisy din that signalled food.

            “Mmphm.” Ben grumbled, still a bit touchy about her denial.

            Nonetheless, he slipped on the oven mitts and took out the chicken, making sure to poke it with his meat thermometer. He was a bit nervous, to tell the truth. He had only ever cooked for himself before, and while he didn’t mind his cooking, he wasn’t sure it would be the same story for others.

            Rey was anything but apprehensive, though. The chicken’s skin was golden brown and crisp, the tender meat inside perfectly white. It, combined with the vegetables surrounding it in the pan, smelled so heavenly that it set her mouth to watering all over again. Her stomach gurgled its agreement.

            Once they had sat down to eat, she dug in quite enthusiastically. Her cheeks puffed to their full extent as she chewed and Ben sat near her, smiling fondly.

            “Oh my god,” Rey said, covering her mouth as she swallowed. “This is actually really good.”

            “Don’t sound so surprised,” Ben said flatly, taking a bite.

            “I’m not _surprised_ …well, maybe I am, but pleasantly so,” she explained. “Suffice it to say I never doubted you.”

            Ben didn’t respond but instead watched her intently as he ate, as though expecting her to say or do something at any second. As she sipped her red wine, she threw quick glances over the rim of her glass, trying to deduce his plot (because Rey just _knew_ there was one). Ben caught on to this quickly and tried to throw her off his scent.

            “So how did your visit with Cat go?” he asked, innocent as ever.

            Rey cleared her throat. “Good. She’s happy for me – for us.”

            “That’s a great friend you’ve got there,” he mused. “Did you tell her we fucked in her parents’ living room?”

            “Ha! No! Frankly she was just happy when I told her we didn’t do it in her parents’ bed,” Rey laughed before her expression turned a touch more serious. “That’s what she wanted to believe and I couldn’t bring myself to correct her.”

            “Yeah, it’s probably best you left it at that. Also probably a good thing you didn’t tell her what we did in her childhood bed,” Ben smiled the cheekiest grin imaginable.

            Rey just rolled her eyes, smiling, and went back to eating the remnants of her vegetables.  

            When they were finished, Ben brought over his tray of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. Rey was feeling quite full at that time, but never in her life had she refused a chocolate chip cookie, so she grabbed the first one she saw and took a big bite.

            Ben watched her closely as she did so, gauging her reaction. Her eyes fluttered closed in a state of complete euphoria as the still-warm cookie melted on her tongue. The chocolate was rich in flavour, the composition of the cookie perfectly chewy while still maintaining its softness. A broad smile pulled upwards on the corners of her gentle mouth.

            “So? How’d I do?” he asked.

            “Amazing,” Rey drawled, licking her lips. “You made a goddamn mess of the kitchen but it was absolutely worth it.”

            Ben heaved a sigh of relief. “Good, I’m glad you like them.”

            “Mm,” Rey licked her fingers where chocolate had melted, analyzing him as she did so. He still wore the same shirt, covered in splotches of dusty flour.

            “You also made a mess of yourself,” she reminded him, gesturing to his shirt. “That should go in the wash.”

            “Right now?” He quirked an eyebrow.

            “Oh yes. Let me help you.”

            She rose from her seat and efficiently pulled his shirt over his head, exposing his upper body completely. Now there was a sight as delicious as the cookies. She suddenly got a very vivid image of herself licking him clean with her tongue and it surprised her, because she never was that type of person to go so crazy over a body. But _his_ body…that was another story entirely. She’d never been so close to a torso that looked as though it had been carved from marble before. Maybe that was the difference. Either way, she struggled to take her eyes off of him, and he noticed.

            “What scheme are you cooking up, girl?” he asked in a raspy voice.

            Her face melted back down into a mask of perfect, innocent, impassivity.

            “Scheme? There’s no scheme,” she replied sweetly. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

            “I think you do,” Ben said quietly.

            “I could ask the same of you, you know,”

            “Me? I have no scheme. I just want to fuck you till the sun comes up, that’s all.”

            Rey smirked. “Is that _all_ you ever think about?”

            “No. I also think about fucking you until the sun goes down.”

            She shoved him playfully, unable not to chuckle at his terrible joke.

            “I’m afraid I’m too full for any of that just yet,” she said.

            “Well I’m not,” Ben stated, swiftly picking her up and carrying her off to his bedroom.

            When she landed on the mattress she stared at him in astonishment, just daring him with her eyes to wipe that cocky smile off his face. But he didn’t, and he wouldn’t. Instead he crept up closer to her, asking with his touch if she would open her legs for him again. She kept her knees firmly pressed together, although she was painfully aware of the fact that beneath her skirt was only her underwear, and if he wished to, all he would have to do would be to slip one hand under her. He would feel her growing wetness and it would all be over. Rey didn’t want the game to end just yet. After all, it had only just begun.

            Ben tilted his head like a confused dog, his brow pinched in the middle. He was quickly catching on to her, and it only made him want her more. He liked it when she took control, when she set the pace and told him what to do and when to do it. He liked when she made him into her own plaything.

            “You’re teasing me,” he groaned, tapping one of her knees with a finger. “That’s not very nice.”

            “Mm, are you _sure_ you don’t like it, Professor?”

            With one stockinged foot, she prodded his stiffening manhood. He twitched involuntarily at her touch, shoulders stiffening as he leaned forward. She had him there. Those caramel whisky eyes narrowed suspiciously at her and all she could do in the face of them was smile wolfishly.

            “Professor, huh? Is that the game we’re gonna be playing?”

            Ben traced the underside of her jaw with his fingertips, curling them under her chin to tilt her head up. She was still grinning as he did this, and her hand shot out like a viper, grabbing his wrist to stop him in his tracks.

            “Oh, not exactly,” she purred, using her grip on him to pull him closer until he had to put out his other hand to stop himself from falling onto her. “There’s no game here. I just want to drive you absolutely mad.”

            “Well that shouldn’t be hard…”

            She smiled as he kissed her, long and deep and sweet. She could feel herself falling into him, into his touch, his breath, _him_. He swirled around her and through her like smoke, leaving permanent etchings on her soul. The tip of his tongue traced the pout of her lower lip and she melted almost instantly, absorbed as she was by the heat of his kiss. Her fingers tangled themselves in his dark locks, gripping at the root, holding him flush to her and keeping him there.

            His warm mouth transferred to her throat, his tongue delicately outlining her pulsing artery as it beat faster and faster, her blood burning with desire just beneath her skin. He kissed along the deep V of her neckline, following the pattern of her dress past her collarbones to her gentle cleavage. Unable to resist the temptation, he pushed the dark material aside to expose her breast. The skin there was bronzed porcelain, like the airbrushed cheeks of an expertly-made doll. The nipple was dark pink and attentive as he brought it into his mouth, suckling gently, grazing it with his teeth.

            “Harder…” she moaned. Her head lolled back against the headrest, her pretty mouth open just slightly. Those dark eyelashes fluttered closed, tickling her freckled cheekbones.

            He would rip the dress open, if it wasn’t so nice. He settled instead for slipping a hand up behind her, fevered fingers searching for a zipper. She allowed him to undress her, if only because her heated skin was begging to feel the cool touch of air. She arched her hips so he could slide her underwear off with ease. She even let him slip a curious hand between her legs and feel how wet she was for him. He faltered just a bit as he touched her, a gasp of air escaping his mouth; a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. She watched with satisfaction as lust consumed him; his jaw slackened and his eyes widened just briefly before dimming, half-lidded.

            “I need you,” he breathed, touching his forehead to hers. His hair tickled the bridge of her nose. “I want you, right now. Please.”

            Rey, who was already breathing hard, smiled.

            “Not yet,” she whispered, pushing him back onto his knees as she got onto hers.

            He watched as she unfastened his jeans, pulling back the layers until he was fully exposed to her. He had no defences left, not that he wanted to have any around her anyway. She grasped him in her warm hand, stroking him with slow, defined movements. A low, animalistic sound escaped from him; somewhere between a moan and a growl. She examined his sharp features for any sign exposing what he felt inside. She couldn’t deduce much from his expression. She didn’t know whether he wanted to get angry with her or throw her back onto the mattress and claim her as his own, or both. She felt a fresh wave of arousal course between her legs, making her tremble like a dainty leaf in a light summer breeze.

            She crawled into his lap and he allowed her to do so, although he didn’t touch her. She wanted control so he gave it to her, for the time being. She stared deep into his eyes like a wildly beautiful predator, entrancing her prey with just a look.

            Now the real teasing could begin. Rey wanted to watch him fall apart beneath her, to crumble in her hands. She rubbed against him, skin-on-skin, alerting him once more to her desire. His fingers grasped the blanket upon his bed, scrunching it up within his fists, desperate to restrain himself. She rode him like this for a minute or two, sliding up and down the length of his cock without ever having him enter her.

            Ben’s eyes were shut tight, his mouth and jaw working as he succumbed to the mere feeling of her against him. His balls ached, begging for the release they craved, but he ignored it as best he could, focusing purely on her touch, the sound of her breathing, the soft, gentle moans that fell from her lips like rose petals…

            It was time to crank it up a notch. He was so close to the edge, all he needed was a good push. She encircled the head of his cock, delighting in the pressure she felt as she pushed him inside just that little bit, only for a second, then she released him again.

            There was that sound again, that growling moan, emanating from deep within his chest. _Just a little more,_ Rey thought. She did it again, sinking down just a bit further before pulling back. That was it. He could take no more.

            He pushed her back onto the bed roughly, keeping himself between her legs so she could refuse him no longer. He held her wrists together in one hand, keeping them above her head. She struggled only a little, playing along with him.

            “Not yet,” she moaned. “I didn’t tell you you could do that yet.”

            The corner of Kylo’s mouth twitched up in a sardonic smirk.

            “Watch me.”

            He pushed himself entirely inside, making Rey cry out in satisfied surprise. Finally where he wanted to be, consumed by her, he found euphoria in just a few deep thrusts, pulling out just in time to make a mess of Rey and his comforter.

            Rey began to sit up in an attempt to kiss him, completely pleased with her devilish scheme, but Ben stopped her. With one hand to her chest, he pushed her back down onto the mattress, shaking his head once.

            “We’re not done yet.”

           

            An hour later they remained on Ben’s bed, breathless, tangled up in the bedsheets. Rey was sprawled across Ben’s chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. Both of them were too awake to sleep just yet, although they knew it would claim them soon as their bodies gave in to exhaustion. The circles Ben was drawing on Rey’s back with his warm fingers were enough just on their own to make her yearn for sleep.

            She curled around to better see his face, shrouded as it was in the shadows cast by the lone lamp in the room. His hair was a black mess, pooling behind his head upon the pillow. She smiled serenely at his resting form, admiring the sharpness of his jawline and the arc of his nose. Those dark eyes of his opened and fixed themselves upon her curiously.

            “What are you thinking about?” he asked, his voice raspy.

            “You,” she answered. “About how happy I am.”

            He smiled dreamily and rubbed her back. “Glad I could be of assistance.”

            As she watched him tread the thin line between sleep and consciousness, she couldn’t help but think about dreams, specifically her own. Not necessarily the sorts of dreams she had in sleep – those were always too convoluted and disorganized to make much sense to her – but her aspirations, one in particular. The calm she felt in that moment, the very calm she saw reflected in the peaceful curvature of his lips, stirred up intense feelings deep inside. She suddenly found herself transported back in time, to that first class of his, when she wasn’t so stunned that she couldn’t pay attention. He had been so enthusiastic, and it had carried on throughout the entire term, only aiding his stance as a great professor. She wanted that for herself. She wanted to do something she knew would make her happy for a very long time. Now there were two things for sure she knew fell into this category: Ben, and becoming a professor herself.

            “You know what?”

            “What?”

            “I think I’m going to go for my PhD.”

            Ben lifted his head off the pillow to look at her more directly, his eyebrows raised.

            “Really?” he asked.

            They had spoken of it only briefly before. Like every undergrad, Rey had wanted to be a professor once upon a time, admiring the task of teaching others about the very subjects she was most passionate about. Not to mention getting a chance to travel and learn and write for as long as she wished. But she had never been sure, until now.

            “Yes. I think that’s what I’m meant to do.”

            “You’ll be amazing,” he murmured, kissing her forehead.

            “Will you stay with me?” Rey asked somewhat timidly, tapping a finger gently on a point just below his collarbone.

            He smiled and squeezed her, bringing her head to rest upon his shoulder.

            “Always,” he answered quietly, his voice saturated with honesty. “I will be right here next to you, no matter what. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

            Rey smiled. Happy tears wetted her eyes. She thought of all the things Ben had ever been to her: a one-night stand, a professor, a crush, a casual lover. And now what was he? The answer was simple. He was everything.

            “Ben?”

            “Yes?”

            “I love you.”

            His eyes widened for only a brief second, as though he had never heard those words spoken to him so softly before. Then he ducked his head down to capture her lips with his.

            “I love you, too, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If all goes according to plan, the next update will be the finale. Expect a time-jump. Thank you for reading and if you liked it, let me know! :)


	14. Hallelujah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this story, for sharing it, for leaving comments and kudos, and making it more popular than I ever imagined it would be. I'm so happy you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)  
> I will be posting a brand new story in the coming months! If you are interested and want to me to keep you posted on that, follow my tumblr @reylo-solo where I'll probably post little updates from time to time.   
> Thank you for all the love, and know that it is returned back to you in full. ❤

_July 17, two years later_

As Rey sat before the vanity mirror, securing an earring into place, her heart fluttered mysteriously in her chest. Partly from nerves, and partly from giddiness (which was directly correlated to the aforementioned nerves). A tentative smile tugged on the corners of her mouth and began to spread across her face until her cheekbones stood out, smooth and rounded. She hid her face in her hands and shook her head before sitting up straight and taking a deep breath. _Relax,_ she told herself. _You’re excited, but relax._

            The kettle was calling her from the kitchen. She prepared her tea in the soft early morning light that filtered in through the window, casting everything in a lavender hue. The steaming cup of tea was too warm yet to hold in both hands the way she liked to. She carried it over to the living room and there she sat to ponder her predicament, in the bay window of the house at 422 Fortuna Crescent.

            The grass on the front lawn was coated in a shimmering blanket of dew that made it look like it was its own distant galaxy. Early birds fluttered to and fro, searching for their breakfast, eager to get their pick of the fat, juicy worms before any of their competitors. Everything was still and peaceful. She breathed it in and took a mental picture to save for later. She had been taking a lot of mental pictures lately. So much had happened in the last two years that had been worth remembering.

            For starters, Ben had bought Cat’s parents’ old house and surprised Rey with it. Luckily for him, its previous long-term owners were both recently retired and looking to move to their lake cabin permanently. One night, after he had convinced Rey to attend him on an evening walk, he had purposefully led her Fortuna Crescent, and she hadn’t even noticed at first.

            “Hey, check it out,” he had said, stopping dead in his tracks.

            Rey, who had been anchored to him by her hand, ground to a halt and looked curiously to the right, where he was pointing. Instantly, she was confused.

            “How did we end up here?” she had asked.

            “Hm. Dunno.”

He had shrugged, in that annoyingly offhand way of his, and pulled his hand out of hers in order to dig in his pants pocket.

            It was out of his pocket that he plucked a key on a ring. He turned it over twice in his hand, as though to make sure it was the right one, and then hid it within a light fist.

            “What’s that—?” Rey had been suspicious as all hell right from the get-go, but now she was confused, and she had that strange, lingering feeling that he was about to do something reckless.

            “Wanna just go inside for a little bit?” His eyebrows raised themselves in polite question, although he was already walking up the neat pathway before she could stutter out an answer.

            _“Ben!”_ she hissed. “What the bloody hell are you doing? Where did you even get a key from?”

            “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Ben said smugly as he slipped the key into the lock. It fit like a glove.

            “Yes, actually, I would!”

            Ben had pushed the door open by this time, making Rey’s heart race. She was half expecting the alarm to go off at any moment, followed by the arrival of police cars. _What the hell is he trying to prove?_ She had thought. _That he can charm just about anyone into giving him their house keys?_

            “Well? Are you coming inside or not?” Ben asked from the threshold. He had a mysterious grin on his face that made Rey’s pulse flutter even more.

            Very reluctantly she walked inside, and what she saw confused her into stunned silence. The entire house was empty, save for an old loveseat, some shelves, and a few more bits and pieces.

            “What…” Rey stammered when she could finally get a word out. “Where did all her parents’ stuff go?”

            Ben shrugged casually. “To their cabin at the lake, I suspect. They’re living there now, you know.”

            Rey shot him a hard stare of inquisition. There was no way Cat’s parents would move to the lake and she wouldn’t tell Rey about it…right?

 “No, I did not know. So…what? What does that mean? You wipe that scheming look off your face and explain yourself right now, Ben Solo!”

            Ben had burst into laughter then as Rey just stood there, watching him incredulously.

            “I bought it. For you, for us,” he explained, his attitude now simmering down to shy meekness. “I realize it’s kind of weird, for your boyfriend to buy your best friend’s childhood home, but…that first night with you here just felt so right to me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what kinds of memories we’d create here, so I couldn’t pass it up. I hope that’s okay.”

            Of course, it had been more than okay, and Rey had burst into joyful tears on the spot.

            Moving in with Ben had been an adventure all on its own. Rey had been so nervous and so excited at the same time that keeping track of her emotions became harder and harder as the days had passed. But once they were actually in the house, with their furniture and boxes of their things scattered around them, it no longer felt as nerve-wracking. Rey hadn’t been that relaxed in a very long time, in fact. It was as if, suddenly, all the pieces of her life were finally falling into place with nary a sound.

            One night, a week after they had officially moved in, Rey had been (finally) organizing her clothes into the master closet. She had been dreading this particular task. She was content living out of a suitcase for a little while longer if it meant she wouldn’t have to fold, hang, and squish her clothes into their corresponding places in the closet and dresser. But alas, the time of reckoning had arrived, as scheduled, despite her silent protests.

            Ben had walked in, running his fingers through his hair, which stuck up at odd angles and flopped over in a hectic manner. Clearly it wasn’t the first time he had done that over the duration of the evening.

            “Finally got my office shelves installed,” he announced, snagging the water bottle off their bedside table for a refreshment.

            “Mmhm, and did you put anything in them?” Rey inquired politely, her back to him as she kept herself focused on her job.

            “No.” She could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

            “You don’t say,” she observed, barely concealing her own satisfied smile. “Well I’m almost done here, too. I’m on my last suitcase.”

            “Mind if I help?”

            “Please.”

            He passed her a pair of pants and two blouses before he stopped handing her things. She was reaching back behind her, awaiting the next article of clothing, but it never came. Instead, she heard Ben’s voice, curious and overly smug, to the point of manic giddiness.

            “What do we have here?”

            Rey turned to look at him, puzzled, but when she saw what he held in his hand her heart jumped into her throat and her eyes shot open wide.

            Ben was holding the Silver Rocket vibrator she had bought around two years ago at a pleasure party her friend Holly had hosted. She had forgotten she had packed it in that suitcase, underneath her least favourite blouse. It looked small in his hands as he turned it this way and that, its chrome finish reflecting the light of the chandelier. He had a broad, crooked smile on his face and a mischievous glint in his eyes.

            Rey stood slowly and awkwardly, like a newborn fawn. Her cheeks were burning pink.

“Oh, erm…that’s, uh…”

            He flashed those dark and stormy eyes at her and she clamped her mouth shut. He raised his chin just slightly, looking at her down the length of his nose.

            “You never told me you had toys,” he said in a mockingly disapproving voice that rumbled like the low growl of a big cat. He raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I always assumed, but…”

            Rey didn’t breathe a word. Her rational self knew it was no big deal. He was her boyfriend and she was but a human girl with needs and wants of her own. It was nothing to be ashamed of, and in truth she wasn’t exactly _ashamed_ at all. She was just a little embarrassed, and the look on Ben’s face was what made it worse. But all the same, the sight of her vibrator in his big, strong hands aroused some other kind of feelings within her, feelings she knew well and could not resist indulging herself in.

            He came to her, strolling slowly and casually around the bed, tapping the vibrator against his palm.

            “You know I have to use this on you now, right?” he asked temptingly.

            She blinked. Her lower lip slid out of the hold her front teeth had it in.

            “Right now?” she replied.

            “Yes. Come here.”

            She obeyed. He directed her towards the full-length mirror they had leaning against the wall. She watched their reflection as he stood behind her. Their eyes locked in the mirror. She barely let herself utter a breath as he brought the Rocket around to her front and delicately placed its tip at the hollow of her collarbone. She jumped only slightly at the contact; the toy was a bit cooler than room temperature, and at that particular moment her body was running at a much higher temp than normal.

            Slowly, the toy slid down her chest, between her cleavage, over her ribcage and down to her navel. He prompted her to take off her shorts, which she did, leaving her in only her panties and a tank top. He didn’t take his eyes off of her the entire time.

            “Do you use this often?” Ben inquired innocently as he played with her.

            “Sometimes,” Rey replied dreamily.

            “Have you ever thought of me while using it?”

            She smiled. “Maybe.”

            Ben shrugged. “No matter. I’m going to make sure this time you’re thinking of me, and only me.”

            With the push of a button, the small toy filled the room with a low, sharp buzzing sound. Rey sucked in a breath through her teeth in anticipation.

            Ben used the toy cunningly, tempting her with every stroke, clearly intending to have her begging for more, or the real thing, by the end of it. He worked outside her panties, brushing the vibrating Rocket against her through the fabric, applying just slightly more pressure around her clitoris. He watched with complete satisfaction as the light grey of her underwear darkened between her legs as she grew wetter and wetter.

            “Close your eyes,” he whispered into her ear.

            She did as she was told, reclining her head to rest in the crook of his shoulder. His free hand, which had been slowly traversing the curves of her body, came to rest over her left breast, where it gently squeezed. His fingers encircled her nipple through her shirt, making it harden fast so that it strained against the soft fabric.

            “Do you feel that?” he asked in a sultry, gravelly voice, using different wrist movements to slide the toy against her.

            “Yes…” Rey breathed. How could she not? It was the only thing she could focus on, save for his other hand on her body.

            “Do you like it?”

            “Oh, yes…”

            “I want you to imagine that’s me. There’s no toy. It’s me. It’s _my_ tongue that’s making you so wet; _my_ fingers that are making you ache. Can you do that for me?”

            She absolutely could. And it only made the experience better. She could see his dark hair between her thighs, could feel it tickling her skin there. His tongue, wet and warm as it massaged her, the sensation of his hot breath creeping up her stomach, cooling as it travelled. She sighed longingly, digging her nails into his forearm as it reached around her waist, probing, searching, teasing.

            “Now open your eyes,” Ben prompted. “Look in the mirror.”

            She did, and for a split second she thought she was looking at the reflection of a completely different woman. Pieces of her hair had sprung loose from their elastic as she had strained against Ben’s front, and they now hung loosely and chaotically about her face. Her skin tone appeared quite pink everywhere, as though she had just exited a warm bath. And her underwear was soaked through.

            Ben, on the other hand, cradled her head with his cheek, his eyes as dark as the devil himself and full of lust. He was blushing too, but not as much as her. The muscles in his arms were taut with restraint; he wanted her so badly but he was not done playing with her yet. This was as much a tease for her as it was for him.

            “Do you see how beautiful you look, all wet and wanting like this?” he whispered in her ear. “Do you feel how badly I want you?”

            She could feel it. He pressed his crotch against her backside and it was hard as iron. She angled her hips downward so that she might better press herself against him. A strangled moan escaped through his clenched teeth.

            “Why won’t you take me then?” she gasped.

            “Because I’m not done playing with you yet.”

            He helped her remove her underwear and for the first time since he had had found her Rocket she felt it press against her without the fabric in the way. It was warm and slick and she trembled slightly at the touch, sensitive as she was. It slid inside her without a hitch and she made a gentle noise, almost startled in nature, and gladly slipped down onto it until she could feel Ben’s hand against her at the base.

            The vibrations were set to a randomized pattern of varying pulses and speeds. She thought she could feel her teeth rattle with the stimulation. Ben’s breath even hitched in her ear and his other hand gripped her midriff tighter, pressing himself to her hard. He wanted her, and she wanted him, and the rest of the world seemed to fall away around them.

            “Mmm…yes!” She moaned loudly. “Ah, _Ben_!”

            He barely gave her a second to breathe after her first orgasm before he had discarded the Rocket and tossed her atop their bed to finish her off himself.

            Rey brought her mug of steaming tea up to her lips and drank slowly. The warmth of the liquid extended to her fingers and toes and momentarily distracted her from the deep, pleasurable ache she felt inside her, brought on by the memory. The rising sun was beginning to make the dewdrops sparkle like diamonds on her front lawn.

            Despite the myriad of distractions, both intentional and otherwise, Rey and Ben had managed to move in and organize everything to the best of their ability. Rey still found herself moving small things around, like the knife block or the welcome mat, searching for that perfect alignment that she doubted she would ever actually find. It was no matter though; she was quite content in her house, even if the knife block could be just a _little more_ to the left of the stove.

            She cast her gaze inward, to the small black smudge on the area rug by the fireplace where Ben had nearly burnt his arm playing with the fire poker whilst telling a very animated story. The fire-hot iron had come just a little too close to his forearm as he swung it playfully, resulting in him dropping the iron to the ground with a loud clatter, where it had left the black smear in its place. Rey smiled at the memory. While it had been a little nerve-wracking in the moment, she was able to look back on it with a certain bemused fondness now.

            Her eyes rolled over the silent signs of a lived-in home: Ben’s glasses, splayed open atop his current non-fiction book of choice on the table by his chair; the newspaper and dirty coffee cup still sitting on the dining room table; and Rey’s day planner and laptop on the coffee table and the floor beneath it. Little things that may drive any neat-freak mad, but they made Rey intensely happy. Never before had she found herself inside a home that actually felt like it was _her_ home, until now.

            She saw the small mirror with the frosted edging, hung up on the wall by the staircase going up to the second level. A distant, hazy memory floated through her mind, reminding her of an incredible night some months ago, when she and Ben had returned home from a night of dancing, drinking, and socializing at the Classics Department Christmas party.

            By the time they had gotten home, Rey was sweaty from exertion and high on the experience of the night. She and Ben had danced for hours. She had become so infatuated with the sensation of his hands on her body, she had been transported back to that fateful night when they first met, so long ago now. There was a certain comfort in knowing that his arms would always be there to catch her at the end of every twirl and twist, and she had quickly become addicted to that feeling.

            As Ben closed and locked their front door, Rey had spun around, tossing stray locks of hair out of her eyes, still beaming with the smile that had been fixed on her face all night. Her eye makeup was slightly smudged at the outer corners from when she had laughed so hard she had cried. But to Ben, she still looked breathtakingly beautiful.

            Rey could still see the expression he had had on his face when she turned around. It was one of complete awe, mixed with unruly passion and a firm, permanent kind of love that Rey had never seen directed at her before. It had stolen her breath away, to see him looking at her like that – like she put the stars in the sky and was the reason the Sun rose every morning. Even now, she would catch him looking at her that way, and it would make her heart flutter in her chest and her lungs would constrict. It was a look that could disarm even the strongest person on Earth. It was a look of true love and desire, meant for her and her alone.

            She had looked over her shoulder as though expecting him to be staring that way at something else; anything other than her. It _couldn’t_ be for her. They had been dating quite some time at that point but she still couldn’t believe he could look at her like that.

            “What’s wrong?” she had asked. She had been breathless, but not from the dancing.

            “Just you,” he had whispered in reply, stepping slowly closer to her. “You’re breathtaking, do you know that?”

            “Oh?”

            “How did I ever get so lucky as to have you fall into my lap just like you did? You are…everything.”

            He had been right up on her at this point and she had craned her neck just to meet his gaze, steady and penetrating as it had been. She could smell his last bourbon and cigarette on his breath, but it wasn’t a scary scent. It didn’t deter her at all. In fact, it only drew her closer to him, until their chests just barely touched.

            “Ben…?” Rey’s voice had quivered, she remembered that. She had barely spoken at a whisper. It was as though the atmosphere around them had pulled his name from her lips and she had spoken it on a mere breath of air.

            “All night, I couldn’t take my eyes off you,” he explained. “It made me realize that I am nothing if not yours. You are my life. Do you understand me?”

            He had walked up on her so far that she had stepped back, only to feel the smooth surface of the mirror against her back. With nowhere else to go she froze and watched him attentively, immersed in his hypnotic stare. No words dared to form on the back of her tongue.

            “I need you,” He said it on a whisper; on a prayer. “I want you. Now.”

            “I’m yours,” she promised, “all yours.”

            He had kissed her so fervently she thought she may faint. The wall at her back and his solid form at her front held her immobile, but she made no effort to escape. She leaned into him, daring him to push her back harder; to press himself so close to her that they wouldn’t be able to tell where he ended and she began. The euphoria they had been experiencing all night, which had previously been fueled by alcohol and music, was now spurred on by nothing but pure passion and desire. It rose and rose until it reached a perfect crescendo of bliss that settled like a feather in their chests.

            When their mouths were reddened by the impact of their kissing, and they were equally breathless by the others’ touch, he picked her up in a bridal carry and walked her upstairs, to the comfort of their bed, in _their_ house.

            Rey smiled dreamily and her cheeks flushed pink. She quickly buried her nose in her tea mug, draining the last of it, leaving only the dregs in the bottom. She rinsed the cup out and left it in the sink. She took a deep, calming breath. This was it. The clock on the oven said so.

            She grabbed her jacket and keys and slipped her shoes on. As she opened her car door she cast one more look at their house, with its green edging and evergreen trees, and that lovely little bush by the front step that she still couldn’t name. It filled her with warmth and happiness and she held on tight to that as she got into the driver’s seat and started the engine.

            It wasn’t far to campus. A twenty-minute drive; thirty if traffic was bad, but it rarely ever was. When she got there she pulled into Parking Lot G and arrived at an automated toll booth. She eyed it somewhat suspiciously as she rolled her window down.

            “Here we go,” she sighed, taking out the little plastic card she had been given and holding it up to the scanner on the machine.

            The light turned green and the guardrail went up, granting her access. It worked! She was in!

            She couldn’t help grinning as she drove slowly between two lanes of parked vehicles. It was obvious which types of professors had the fancy cars and which had the run-down junk bins.

            She turned to fill the nearest empty spot with her car, only to tap on the breaks when she noticed someone was standing in her spot. She was quite confused for only a split second before the comfort of knowledge assured her. _Ben_.

            He stood in his white cotton button-down and black pants with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at her with a cheeky grin on his face. He stepped aside so she could park in the spot and then opened her door for her to step out.

            “About time,” he said. “You’re two minutes late.”

            “Oh, write me up, teach,” she replied sardonically. “Does that mean you were standing out here in a vacant parking stall looking like a fool for two extra minutes?”

            “Yes, it does.”

            “Then it was worth it.”

            They shared a kiss and a smile. They were all too happy to tease one another but when it came down to it they were both so excited for what the day held that nothing could tarnish their happiness.

            They held hands as they walked to the Arts building on campus. It was a lovely summer day out; the sun was bright in the sky, little sparrows were chirping and hiding in the shade of parked cars, and children were laughing in the on-campus daycare playground.

            Rey hesitated slightly as Ben opened the door to the building for her. It was the first time she was entering it not as a student and it made butterflies soar in her stomach. With a calm, reassuring smile, he urged her inside. She followed him almost like a shy child over to the elevators. He pressed the button for the sixth floor, one floor beneath his office. She clung to his arm, nervously chewing at a fingernail, unable to hide the excited grin slowly spreading across her face.

            “Are you ready?” he asked at the fourth floor.

            She nodded vigorously. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

            _Ding._ The sixth floor. It was time.

            The pair exited the elevator and Rey barely had a second to get her bearings before Ben’s hands were over her eyes, blocking her from seeing much of anything.

            “What are you doing?” she demanded.

            “Just wait,” he said, a smile in his voice, “you’ll see.”

            He ushered her along kind of awkwardly; his thighs against her buttocks prompted her to the right and then forwards a few paces. He then repositioned her so she faced to the left. She was holding her breath.

            “Ready?”

            “Well, yes! I’ve already said so!”

            Ben chuckled and removed his hands. The light was overbearing for just a moment before things cleared up and she was able to see what was right in front of her. A wood panelled door with a silvery plaque on it that read her name, followed by “PhD”. The plaque was certainly not regulation; it looked nothing like the others on her floor. It was shiny and carefully engraved in a beautiful serif font.

            “Did—did you get this made for me?” she asked, turning to face her boyfriend, who was still smiling widely.

            “Mmhm,” he nodded. “Like it?”

            “It’s lovely,” Rey whispered, running her fingers along its smooth surface.

            “Shall we go inside?”

            “We shall.”

            “Here’s your key,” Ben said, dropping it into her awaiting palm. It was warm from his body heat.

            The butterflies were in a real tizzy now, swirling and fluttering in her gut, making her hands tremble as she tried to unlock her door. It took a minute, but with a satisfying click she had gotten it, and the door swung inwards to reveal her office.

            The desk was an old wooden one with steel drawers, the chair a fancy leather number she could adjust to her heart’s content. A photo of her and Ben – her _favourite_ photo of them in fact, taken when Ben had brought her along to Paris last spring for a research job – sat atop the desk in a lovely metal frame. There was a cute circular area rug to somewhat cover up the old tile floors, and a comfy cloth chair for visitors to sit in. The two bookshelves that ran along either side wall were nearly two-thirds full. Rey’s eyes widened in shock as she took it all in.

            Ben had told her he had plans for her office, the second she accepted the job offer. He had said he would take care of everything if she promised to be patient until it was done. Being patient had been extremely difficult; on more than one occasion she had plotted to overthrow him and her promise, but had withheld when she had seen the sly excitement in his eyes.

            “You put all my books on the shelves,” she said, running her fingers slowly along the spines of her favourite academic volumes.

            “I did,” he said quietly, watching her with pride from the doorway.

            Her eyes went to her desk, where there sat a large Apple computer, complete with a new mouse and keyboard. Her mouth fell open. She hadn’t even seen it at first; she had been too engrossed in everything else – all the personal touches he had made. But this computer wasn’t like her books. This computer was a brand new stranger.

            “Ben…” Rey said softly, wanting to shame him for buying something so expensive for her but unable to get the words out, choked as she was by her overrunning emotions.

            “Shh, don’t say another word about it,”

            His arms wrapped around her midsection and his voice rumbled warmly by her ear.

            “It’s my gift to you,” he explained. “I’m so proud of you. And this thing is going to make your life a hell of a lot easier than your old hunk of junk would have.”

            “I happen to _like_ my old hunk of junk…” Rey mumbled, tapping the corners of the computer screen, feeling the matte finish of the paint.

            “Mm, what was that?” Ben asked, smirking.

            She turned to face him, brimming with happiness.

            “Nothing,” she purred, taking his face in her hands and kissing him. “Thank you. I love it; all of it.”

            When they parted Ben’s eyes remained closed for a moment, as though he was savouring their embrace. When they opened again his expression was strictly mischievous in nature.

“Hold that thought,” he said.

Rey watched him with suspicion as he closed and locked her office door. _Oh of course,_ she thought, catching on. _How could he not?_

            “Now, what was it you were saying before…?” He recaptured her mouth with his, quickly hoisting her up on top of her desk where his hands went straight to her backside.

            She emitted a squeal that ended in a giggle, all too happy to have fallen into his sexual trap. They’d fucked in his office on more than one desperate occasion; it was her turn now.

            He kissed down her neck, slowly and just the way she liked it, following a set pattern to the hollow of her collarbone. As he did this, she set to work pulling his shirt out of its tucked-in state and unbuttoning it, slowly revealing the little patch of dark hairs in the middle of his chest. Her fingertips brushed him just there, momentarily embedding themselves in the soft, curly hairs.

            It was a brief encounter, though. At her prompting he quickly set to work unbuttoning her blouse in turn, his own fingers clumsily tugged at the little pearl buttons in a way that simply said “I know this is one of your favourites, so I won’t rip it open and ruin it, but know that I desperately want to.”

            Chests sufficiently bared for the time being, Rey leaned back on her desk, arching her spine, delighting in the feeling of his hand sliding down her stomach while the other one slipped up her skirt. She smiled dreamily, as though she was just waking from a wonderful nap. _God,_ she thought, _how are we going to be able to resist this kind of temptation, when our offices are only a floor apart? Whoever said working with your significant other could be both a blessing and a curse was eerily on the nose…_

            She lost herself to his mouth. His full, pouty lips, and the way they caressed her body just right. The gentle, almost lazy swirls of his tongue on the most sensitive parts of her, leaving etchings behind on her skin that could never be scratched out. The soft, wet clicking sound of each and every kiss he bestowed upon her was music to her ears, soothing the deepest reaches of her soul. She wanted to scream and laugh and cry from a thousand different emotions but instead settled for a quiet moan that lived within a sigh. When he found her there, at his haven between her thighs, he did not hold back; he was like an animal, barely restrained in nature. His tongue washed over her and into her, almost instantly bringing her to the brink of destruction. But she wanted to domesticate him; to pull him back and draw it out. She wanted to _want_ , and she needed to bring him to heel.

            She sat up, distracting him from his mission temporarily. He lifted his head from between her legs, his eyes glazed over in that primal way she loved.

            “Gentle, my love,” she whispered. “Go slower.”

            Ben’s tousled head shook side-to-side.

            “I don’t think I can,” he growled, gripping her underside tight, with an air of possessiveness that would have stung a bit if it didn’t feel so damn good. “I don’t think I want to.”

            Rey’s lips twitched up into a devious, beautiful smile.

“Then allow me.”

He leaned against her desk as she took him into her mouth. She spent a lot of time at the head of his cock, teasing it, drawing endless circles around it with the tip of her tongue. It was the most sensitive part she had heard, and judging by Ben’s reaction, the rumours were true. He gripped the edge of her desk so hard she could hear his fingernails, short as they were, scratching against the wood grain. He was breathing heavy, in short, sharp bursts, his bare chest heaving erratically above her. When she chanced a look up, his brow was furrowed in concentration and his lips were parted, but his eyes were ablaze with a fire so intense it made her tremble on her knees.

This was what she wanted. To make him _want_. To make herself want. His reaction had made her ache with the warm, exciting burn of desire. It meant the release would be so much better when it came.

When she took as much of him as she could into her mouth and found that rhythmic up-and-down motion, the sound he made came from deep inside his chest; barely human in nature. His fingers gripped the back of her head, tightening mindfully around the roots of her hair, urging her to continue, to go deeper, if she could. But she couldn’t, and she didn’t. Instead, she stood up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, fixing him with an almost defiant stare.

She loved how he looked so dishevelled, so caught off-guard. His shirt splayed open carelessly, his pants pulled mid-way down his thighs, panting, his eyes still wild with lust. She couldn’t help the victorious smirk that coated her expression. He wanted her, and he would think of nothing else until he had her. In that moment, she was all that existed to him, and she revelled in it.

“Did you not want me to stop?” she asked innocently, once more curling his chest hair around her finger.

He shook his head no, refusing to take his eyes off of her for even one second.

“What do you want?”

He gave her a puzzled look but said nothing, figuring it should be obvious what he wants, and it was.

“Do you know what I want?”

Again he was silent, devoting all his attentions to her and only her, clinging to her every word like his life depended on it. And judging by the way his heart felt at that moment, it just might.

“I want you,” she whispered in his ear. “I want your cock inside me, right now.”

Ben pushed off from the desk, pushing her backwards as a result. He kept making her walk backwards until she felt the wall on her back and was instantly transported to that night around Christmastime, when he had been so infatuated with her he couldn’t keep himself away for one second longer. He had that same look on his face, only now it was much darker, stained as it was by the deep haze of passion.

He leered over her, blanketing her in his own shadow, blocking out the light from the window across the room. She wanted to reach out and touch him, every inch, and she started to; her hand crawled towards him through the minute space between their bodies. Her fingertips just grazed his torso when he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, supporting her between his body and the wall. They stayed suspended like that for a moment, staring into one another’s eyes, waiting to see who would crack and make the first move.

Perhaps to no one’s surprise, it was Ben. He kissed her deeply and made her head swim. With her skirt bunched up around her hips he had easy access to her. He merely pushed her panties off to the side and ran one long finger against her, testing her. She was so wet for him he thought he might just drop her on accident, he became so hyper-focused on her reactions.

“Christ,” he gasped, pressing his dampened forehead to hers. “The things you do to me, Professor…”

Her giggle at his comment ended in a sharp moan of pleasant surprise as he slipped himself into her with minimal persuasion. Blood rushed to her face almost instantly. The sensation of one another’s bodies was now so familiar to them that it felt like there was no other place they were ever meant to be. There was no one and nothing else in the word besides the two of them together.

As they kissed, Rey captured Ben’s lower lip between her teeth, dragging them along the fleshy skin. He moaned quite happily at this and gripped her tighter, carrying her away from the wall and back onto her desk. The wood was cool and hard on her bottom. She gripped his shoulders tighter, digging her nails in with increasing pressure.

He penetrated even deeper; so deep it strangled her until no sound came out of her open mouth other than choked gasps of air. Every pulse, every thrust echoed for miles inside of her. The desk began to shake and tremble and creak, old as it was, but it continued to support their efforts nonetheless, and a good thing too, because they were not about to stop even if it collapsed underneath them.

“Look at me,” Ben begged, his own voice quivering. “Look at me!”

He held her face in one hand, forcing her to keep her eyes trained on him, not like it was hard to do. The tip of his nose brushed hers, he was so close, but she didn’t dare look away; she didn’t _want_ to.

When she came she cried out, much louder than intended, and Ben’s hand clamped down over her mouth to muffle her. He penetrated her with three last, hard thrusts, enough to make the desk rattle loudly and shift a bit. When it was over they were breathless, desperately clinging to one another, their legs and arms trembling ever so slightly with sudden exhaustion and nerves. It took each of them a very long moment to come back down to Earth.

“Do you think anyone heard us?” Rey asked as they redressed.

Ben shrugged, hoisting his pants back up around his hips and buttoning them. “Who cares? Half the people on these upper floors are old and deaf, and the other half refuse to work from their office during the summer unless absolutely necessary.”

“Good to know,” Rey quipped.

Ben went to grab them water and Rey took the opportunity to use her desk for its intended purpose. The leather chair was soft and comfortable; a little stiff on the arms, but she would break it in eventually. Her fingers caressed the smooth finish of her desk, tracing the myriad of little scratches and what she would even call gouges that had been left in it from previous owners. And then her eyes travelled to her shiny new desktop computer, where she paused to marvel at its beauty. She had never really cared that much about technology and certainly was not one to jump at the latest product the minute it was released, but she couldn’t deny a certain satisfaction at the sight of a new computer that she could call her own. In her current line of work, that computer was going to be her lifeblood. Everything she did, everything she worked on, all the emails and video conference calls…they would all take place here, at her desk, in her office, on her new computer.

She admired the various shades of purple, pink, and blue that made up the screensaver picture: a beautiful nebulae sprinkled with diamond stars. Wrought by an explosion, it was the perfect combination of chaos and beauty, locked together in intergalactic poetry and now immortalized to humanity. What existed out there, in a place where something like that was possible, and happened all the time? It looked too lovely to be real, but it was out there, somewhere. In a galaxy far, far away…

Ben’s return pulled her out of her thoughts and back into the present, on Earth. He offered her a cold water bottle and she took it most gratefully, swivelling her chair around to face him. He sat atop her desk, his legs flush with her crossed knees, and looked down at her with a raised brow and a renewed softness in his eyes that made her smile.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked.

“Not much,” he replied with a casual shrug. “Just pondering where we started and where we are now.”

“Mm, how so?”

Again he shrugged, something he liked to do when he had thoughtful conversations with people.

“It seems kind of coincidental, don’t you think?” he asked. “We meet _coincidentally_ in a bar, we _coincidentally_ have a ‘one-night stand’, something neither of us were privy to before. And then I _coincidentally_ end up being your professor, and we end up forced to spend an hour and twenty minutes in the same room together three days a week, so we _coincidentally_ fall into a hot, _very_ hot, illicit relationship…”

“If you say ‘coincidentally’ like that one more time I’m going to have to kick you in the shin,” Rey warned playfully.

Ben smirked. “But do you get what I’m saying? The way everything played out…although it seemed to coincidental at the time, I’m thinking it wasn’t.”

Rey raised an eyebrow in query. “No?”

“No. Now, I’m a Greek Mythology professor, so excuse my willingness to believe in the cosmic powers and designs of fate, but…I think maybe it was fate.”

Rey broke out into a grin. “Fate, huh? You don’t say…”

“Or coincidence, I suppose,” Ben replied, “but I think that option isn’t nearly as much fun, wouldn’t you agree?”

Rey laughed, the lovely sound of which made Ben laugh in return.

“I suppose I do,” she answered. “Come here.”

He bent over so she could kiss him softly. Fate or coincidence, it didn’t really matter. She had found him; her forever soulmate, and they were together, and they were happier than either of them had ever thought possible for themselves. That was what made everything worthwhile.

“I love you,” she said, and she really meant it.

“And I love you,” he replied, and so did he.


End file.
